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There's no way I could cover such a huge topic in one post. Especially this late at night, so I'm not even going to try.

First of all, I'd like to bring up pride. Have you ever done something and regretted it, but you didn't try to fix things because your pride wouldn't let you? I have. Have you ever not discussed something that should have been talked about because you would be ashamed to admit you had a problem? I have. Have you ever not done something because your pride wouldn't let you? I have.

People who do things without the inhibitions of pride (or other things) are often looked at by society as weirdos or creepy or weak. People don't talk about feelings that society dictates they shouldn't have. Honestly, I'm just as guilty as the next person of going along with society on some things, but part of me also envies those people because they can be true to themselves and hopefully live without regrets. Also, breaking down the barriers of society and pride can help a lot with communication and understanding one another.

That being said, such simple things as sharing feelings or being blatantly ones self are incredibly hard to carry out. As humans, the spoken and unspoken rules of society are ground into our psyches from birth and are often second, or even first, nature. Humans are made so that part of us longs to be accepted into the pack.

That being said, who am I to lecture? I'm just as guilty of these things as anyone else. More so on some and less on others perhaps, but I am.

I fully support gay marriage. Suck it up, bigots. (why are you reading this anyway?)

As for my own motives, it takes a long time for even me to know completely what they are. I can spend days figuring out how I feel about a thing and even longer figuring out why I did something. I'll think I have all of my reasons discovered and then *WHAM* a new one hits. And I'm off again, figuring stuff out. How can one do something and then slowly discover the motives... shouldn't one have motives first?

I think I over think things. There are probably a lot of reasons for it, but the main one is probably because as a person I'm full of contradictions ~ I strive for logic, yet act emotionally. I like to get things done, but I'm a lazy person. I forgive easily, yet hold many grudges. I'm a trusting person, yet I'm suspicious of many things. I'm extremely apathetic, yet protective. I feel love and liking deeply, yet can cut ties swiftly (and live to regret sometimes). I'm very open, yet I'm secretive. I wish to be needed, yet I need something to cling to.

Not even I know if I care what society thinks of me. I like to say that I move outside of the stream, rather than leading or following. I neither like things because others like them, nor do I dislike things because they are popular. I like what I like. So there. At the same time, I like being seen a certain way and I like fitting in when I need to. I don't pretend to be what I'm not, yet who I am varies day to day, but all versions are genuine.

If I don't understand myself, then how can I possibly expect other people to understand me? If I can't understand myself, how can I possibly be expected to understand others? If people can't understand themselves, how can they possibly understand me?

Now, that's emo thinking. Yet, frighteningly enough, I'm not saddened by it. Those thoughts exist. Just like the air, the trees, the sun and I exist. What is true for me may not be true for you. Just like what is true for you may not be my truth.

Japanese for the Day:
Shinjitsu
Truth

Oozei
Many