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Pein:
1. Hide powerful magnets all over his room.
2. Tell him Zetsu’s hitting on Konan.
3. Follow him around constantly, and if he asks what you’re doing, say you’re playing “Follow the Leader". Get Tobi to join.
4. Feed Tobi sugar, lots of sugar.
5. Switch around the piercings on his spare bodies when he’s asleep.
6. Tell him splitting his soul into six pieces is totally stealing Voldemort’s idea. As is using special powers to take over the world.
7. Ask if he uses his bodies for an orgy.
8. Tell him one of his bodies looks like a girl.
9. Point out that it must be really gross when he takes his piercings out, due to all the holes in his face.
10. Point out that the members of his organization keep getting beaten up by children.

Zetsu:
1. Convince Kakuzu it’d be cheaper to use him as a Christmas tree.
2. Paint pink flowers on him when he’s asleep.
3. Tell him he’s fat and should lay off the heavy people.
4. Offer him flies as a present.
5. Tell him he should see a therapist about his split personality disorder.
6. Yell at him to stop talking to himself in public.
7. Ask if watching cross pollination is like porn to him.
8. Set fire to his plants, and blame it on Hidan.
9. Ask what species his parents were.
10. Give him Miracle Grow for his birthday.

Kakazu:
1. Dye his stitches pink.
2. Cut out one of his tentacles and play jump rope with it.
3. Ask if throwing up string is even useful.
4. Go shopping constantly, using the Akatsuki budget.
5. Ask if he’s always seme, or if he and Hidan switch it up.
6. Ask if there’s stitches “down there”.
7. Suggest Itachi give him some beauty tips.
8. Ask if he ever considered washing his hair.
9. Ask what it's like to live for over a hundred years, and never get any sex.
10. Superglue money to his bedroom floor.

Kisame:
1. Say you met his mother at an aquarium.
2. Accuse him of bathing in blue Kool-aid.
3. Tell him Itachi is leaving him for Tobi.
4. Call him "fishy-chan"
5. Say his sword looks like a giant tampon.
6. Ask if his sword is so ridiculously huge because he's compensating for something.
7. Make him watch "Jaws", over and over.
8. Spike his and Itachi's food with Viagra.
9. Show him the fight scene against Gai over and over and over and over.....
10. Tell him he's actually sweet on the inside.

Deidara:
1. Take his clay and replace it Play-Doh.
2. Say “un” at the end of your sentences to mock him.
3. Compare him to terrorist suicide bombers.
4. Offer him speech therapy.
5. When he walks into a room play “Dude Looks Like a Lady”.
6. Tell him art is boring.
7. Detonate some of his sculptures under his pillow while he sleeps.
8. Keep emphasizing how easily Itachi beat him.
9. Cut off his hair to donate to cancer patients.
10. Go up to him and say “Excuse me miss, but I-oh! Hey Deidara!”

Hidan:
1. Tell him Jesus loves him. Constantly.
2. Start one of those jars where a person has to put in a nickel every time they curse, and have Kakazu monitor it.
3. Dress up as an emo and greet him as your brethren.
4. Laugh when he gets his head cut off.
5. Pat his shoulder and say “It’s okay to be gay”, and then walk away.
6. Put disturbing pictures of Kakuzu up in his room.
7. Use him as a pin-cushion.
8. Hire a priest to bless his room.
9. Shave his head and write random things on it with Sharpie.
10. Steal his rosary and hide it in a Bible.

Itachi:
1. Whenever he gets angry, ask if he’s PMSing.
2. Pat him on the shoulder and say “he touched you, didn’t he?” then walk away.
3. Offer to strip for him (if you’re a girl) and when he declines, say “it’s because you’re gay, isn’t it?”
4. Tell him in a very serious voice, that while he and Sasuke obviously still love each other, both of them seriously have their priorities screwed up.
5. Sing "Pop Goes the Weasel" in a creepy voice while fingering a kunai.
6. Put his hair in pigtails.
7. Sign him up to be the Covergirl spokesmodel.
8. Have a beauty contest between him and Deidara and declare him the clear winner.
9. Tell him you saw a necklace just like his in Claire's.
10. Blindfold him in his sleep so he’ll wake up and think he’s blind.

Sasori:
1. Suggest that Deidara calling him "master" might not be as innocent as everyone thinks.
2. Accuse him of using his chakra strings to control people for...personal things.
3. Scratch words into his wooden body.
4. Ask if he'll put on a puppet show for you.
5. Bug him constantly to find out his age.
6. Chase him around with a flame-thrower.
7. Sign him up for breakdancing classes.
8. Unwind the cord in his stomach all the way and tie it around a tree.
9. Ask why his ring symbol is "the virgin" and if that has any hints about personal life.
10. Tell him he's like Trix cereal, way too fruity.

(I'll add more later)