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My sister meets me discreetly at a tavern, both of us wearing heavy cloaks. We don't say a word. Lord Phil follows behind us. I can tell he is anxious, and it comforts me once more that he will protect me.
Just before we enter the palace we discard our cloaks. Lady Alice goes ahead of me so as not to arouse suspicion. Lord Phil and I, both in disguise, enter several minutes later.
And we are inside. I look all around me, at the decorations and just every feature of the palace I love but haven't seen in weeks. This will be the last time I'll see it for a while, too.
Just to be on the safe side, Lord Phil and I decide to split up. Besides, it will help to gather more information. With a little apprehension--I have never been without someone nearby to rescue me immediately if the need arises--I say goodbye and merge into the crowd of nobles and courtiers.
No one pays attention to me; new courtiers arrive often: daughters of nobles, fiancees of young men...no one suspects anything. My hair, dyed black and left down, with my mask covering my trademark emerald green eyes and my face, looks drastically different from anything anyone will remember. Even my dress is far less extravagant than I am used to. I start to relax and stare woundrously at everything. There are ghosts everywhere. This is where we made our introductions. This is where we sat to dinner and talked. This is where we stole away together and talked late, late into the night...almost till dawn.
I never expect the King to notice me. I have planned to observe from afar. But when I finally find him, he meets my eyes, and then, before I know it, he approaches me, smiles, and holds out his hand for a dance.
My heart flutters, not only because I am afraid he might have guessed my secret...but also because...I have missed him, even after all he has done to me.
"Well, I have not seen you before," King Edward smiles. This is making things so difficult! How can he be so polite? "Are you newcome to this court?"
I blush and stammer, allowing myself this embarrassing lack of control because I also think it might help my act.
"Why--yes, Your Majesty. My mother has finally decided that I am ready for a courtly life." I am still very young, and I hope I can pass off as a young girl just come to court. "I am--Lady Isabella. Your Highness."
He laughs good-naturedly at my awkwardness. He always did love to drive the ladies crazy, even when I was by his side. "Well, Lady Isabella, I had not heard of your coming. But then I suppose I can't keep track of everyone. However...I am glad to have seen you." He smiles more intensely, and I just want to tear away my mask and embrace him. "I think I may see you quite often, from now on," he hints in a low voice.
"I am honored, Your Highness," I blush. I hadn't imagined this being so hard. I hadn't imagined that I still wouldn't be able to forget.
We continue dancing. After a while he asks, "So where are you from, Lady Isabella?"
I have prepared for this, but my heart still skipps a beat. I'm so afraid that he will see through my scheme. "I--I am from Wesley, Your Majesty."
His face darkens, and I tense. "You are related to Lord Phil of Wesley?"
"er...yes...Your Highness," I stammer, and then carefully I arrange a scowl on my face. "But I pray that Your Highness won't hold this against me," I blurt angrily, though my stomach is queasy. I hate to lie. "Lord Philip, my cousin, has disgraced our family with his betrayal of Your Majesty. We no longer acknowledge him as kin. Everyone knows that the Queen betrayed her country when she ran away with her faithless heart, and now one of our very own runs off with her, following her like a besotted dog!" I swallow hard. I cannot believe I am saying this about one of my closest friends.
"Shh," Edward says, amused, and he puts a finger to my lips. I blush again, and his smile spreads. "I won't hold that against you," he assures me. "I am grateful for your loyalty."
I nod, looking up at him with wide eyes, like a little girl, who would do anything for him.
And unfortunately, I have to do very little acting to pull that off.
We stand like that for a few seconds but I want it to last forever. How long has it been since I'd seen him? All too soon he pulls back and bows very low--which shocks me, and I look around, afraid of scandal.
"I must leave you now, my lady," he tells me. "I don't want to make everyone else jealous. There are many women who'd love to dance with me, and I'm sure countless men who'd love to dance with you." He smiles that confident, bewitching smile, and leaves to dance elsewhere.
I look after him, confused and muddled as ever. It is so easy to believe that he still loves me. But he does not even know it is me. Which means that he has already moved on. He is already flirting with a total stranger. And he probably didn't mean a word of it. That's just how he is; he never means anything he says. Stupid, stupid,...
I can't believe I'm still so in love with him.
I suddenly find myself disgusted with everything. I don't want to be here when he isn't. I feel sick with the idea.
I find Lord Philip with a group of courtiers and mutter, "I want to leave."
He glances at me, worried and confused, but he says goodbye to his group and walks quickly to catch up to me as I hurry away.
I exchange a glance with my sister, who had been watching me dance with the King. I shake my head and look away. We will not speak today.
 LadyAlisyn · Fri May 29, 2009 @ 03:12pm · 1 Comments |
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