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Day 3.
I'm going... I don't know if insane is truly the right word. Possibly it isn't. But who knows? Who cares.

These past few days have been really tough on me.
I found out Tuesday morning that an old friend of mine, Audrey, had died earlier that morning in a car wreck.
She was seventeen.

Cops who arrived said they smelled booze. We have yet to find out if Audrey, who was driving, was drinking or not. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me. Audrey was a rebel, and one of the nicest people ever met.

I had met her in seventh grade, when, on a regular basis, I would get threatened and beat up for being bi, athiest, anti-politics, dyed-black hair, unnattractive, etc. Audrey was an eighth grader who didn't care. She loved that I was ballsy enough to take on society and be everything they feared. I wasn't very close; I had no classes with her, but I would sometimes spend lunch at her table. It was nice to have someone like me and be so friendly to me.

She was an actress, and, despite her naturally dark mentality, she was so upbeat, kind, and loved laughing. Her smile was so beautiful. Her hair was black, her eyes brown, her skin pale. She was very short, and had the cutest smile. I had her earlier this year in my French || class.

Why was she taken from us? What had she done that was so wrong to be partially ejected from a car? Oh, poor, poor, kind, sweet Audrey, There is no mercy left in God. He has foresaken you, and your life.

There was a memorial for her yesterday. We raised the flags, then lowered them to half-mast. By lunch, they were back up to full mast. But, there were still more than thiry of us gathered around those flag poles, praying, thinking, mourning, sobing, hugging, or trying to hold it in. I was there with a few of my friends, and I hadn't been there more than 30 seconds before tears were streaming down my face.

Tuesday, I had broken down in the band hall. They had taken me out of the class sto keep me from disrupting everyone. No one really helped. Yesterday, I cried at the flag poles, got to first period late, and then, when I stood upon the stage Audrey had put on a beautiful act not a month ago, I sat down and cried. I had no control over my emotions. Last night, my boyfriend had mentioned how my sorrow was driving him crazy. Itold hiim I'd star being happy. And, today, I wore a mask of smiles and laughs, while inside, I was always in risk of crying

I'm going to her funeral tomorrow. I'm going with my friend, Cody, who was Audrey's cousin. He saw me break down in band class, and offered to take me. My mom isn't thrilled about it. But, I don't really give a damn right now. I just wat to see sweet Audrey one last time, be able to say good bye , send her off to heaven.

I love you Audrey.
I miss you.

Oh God. I'm crying again.

I miss you so much Audrey.