Mmhmm, this is like the first "real" entry. I guess a lot has gone on since.
First of all, Grade - Happened. everyone thought it would be as fun as "the best/fun year ever" Grade - was so much better than this year of crap. Last year, almost everyone would, well, hang out or such, but now, their like all different. It could be me with the fact that i just cant seem to make new friends..cause some people will get the wrong idea. Apparently they think i like this guy ill call him f**, i talk to him alot last year, only cause this was like the 5th [6th?] year iv been in his class, and whats so wrong about that? Plus, i sat next to him for a whole 3 months. Its just kind of stressful. -sigh- theirs only a like two years until i can start over, but for some reason, i want it to come quicker. Some days i feel really great, but then others i feel like i just wanna lock myself outta the world to somewhere like Pluto. God, i cant believe im wasting stupid precious time writing this down, but i have nobody to tell this to so hella with it. I already tried, what am i supposed to do if they dont believe me? Honestly, perhaps i do need more friends. Looking at my 3 friends together makes me think i dont really fit with them. but then, who would want to hang with me? i should go be a loner. i wish i was homealone. then i can do this the asain way, chuck everything on the floor. bash the cup on the table. i was i can handel this the way korean dramas do. they always have happy endings. Either they find their true love [thats not gonna happen] or the will run off alone, all happy. i see me having a happy ending.. but thats somewhere when im 30. i should go calm down..but how? i cant defend myself anymore. if i do im just being mean.. but what can i do? i cant diss or finger them cause they dont care and i cant diss. oh yea.. some one told some one that i like him, and people still belive it. its been a fugging year. get over it. most stuff like this last for like a week..But why me? why an year? whywhywhy? i know people think finding out who i like is rare, but what if its not true? how would they know that its true? their not me. i swear.. im gonna let all the emotions out tonight when everyone is sleeping in my house.. scream or --- on my pillow. i cant say the -- cause i never do that. iv only done that once in school. i should stop talking about it.. i cant really take it anymore. anyway.. as you can tell, i like big bang.. i thought it was the only way left to tell everyone im proud of my country since i dont like to speak my language during culture week..[i spoke it once, and people laughed..you got no idea how it feels to be the only one of your type at your school and people just start laughing at your language]. sad thing is, i cant do that either anymore. people almost hate everything i like.Plus im sick of people comment on the negative things in your look. if you think its better at home.. its worse at home to. Parents dont understand kids.. what can i do? obey their rules, i dont wanna get grounded for 3 weeks.. sigh... grade - sucks. we get stuck with grade -. Every time we have to follow them to science or something, the other grade - are like "wtf are with those grade -?" it fugging pisses me off. you were in our spot last year..its not like we wanted to be here. i guess the only good thing is that im watching a korean thingy that describes i girl like me.. but shes brave and has rich guys all around her..pfft..sigh.
i'm done.. you can leave.
