When I look into the moon, I think of my true self. My complete self. I am so free under its shining beams. I don't feel the restraints that I usually put on myself and my wild heart runs free. Last time I was unleashed into the full moon, I ran topless around the beach. As ashamed of how slutty that was, I am proud. I look back on it and see beauty. I see the me that didn't give a s**t.
My nails are really annoying me.
I finally beat Maleficent on KH so I am one step farther in beating the game. I have gotten farther before to the point where you need to enter the keyhole but I forget now what to do to get to that point again. I will remember EVENTAULLY!
I haves carbonated water. It shall put me to sleep. I realize that I prolly sleep 5/7 of the days here. I mostly sleep during the day with naps. My sleep at night is prolly 6 or 7 hours. Then I get an added 2 to 3 hours from naps. Different schedule indeed.
Now that my brithday is getting closer, I kinda don't want it to come. I always get like this, the cold feet. Right before the day of I regret all the excitement and happiness about another year. I think to myself "what if" and from there the questions go on for a long time. I wonder about friends, homework, teachers, weather, activities, day after, day before.... so many things that play such a small role in the actual event. Deep down, I still hold onto that fear that I won't live to see my love, whoever it may be, or reach 21.
I still fear despite all I've been through, all I've acheived.
