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Haven't been gettin alot of press recently since my super hero guild decided to throw me out of the super lair. Decided now would be a good time to sit back and start my memoirs. So...

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away a young baby (me) was exposed to some gambino radiation or something like that and my parents who loved me very mych but knew that this was a sure fire sign that the world was coming to an end, couldn't looks at me any more with my hideous mutation so they sent me away to a planet full of cyber soldier mercenary ninja monkeys who took me in and trained me in their ways until I found out their planet was really making plans to take over the entire galaxy so I had to beat up the whole planet including my monkey uncle Ben, who I found out after really wasnt part of the evil conspiracy, and he told me that with great power comes great dance moves, at least thats what I think he said, he kinda faded out on the last words there cause he was dying.

with this newfound information I set out towards new planets and new civilizations and boldly somehow wound up on this earthy planet, determined to serve up a warm plate of disco fever, I was sad to realize I had landed a couple decades later than I anticipated. if only I hadnt taken all those bathroom breaks on the way. So instead I met a lovely family in kansas who adopted me and raised me as their own until I set off for the big city and got a day job as a newspaper reporter, photographer, and multimillionaire arms developer, after all even us super heros have to eat. everything was goin fine until my evil arch nemesis, Lex Doompocalypsenheimer, showed up and started making this earth place not nice anymore, now every day is a constant battle to turn the tide back in the good guys favor again.