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Well, it's the last half of the last week of winter break. I've done nothing but power bumming since break started. I've probably gained at least a few pounds and my muscles have probably gone to hell. But I can get them back. That's why I signed up for a year of PE.

I actually like being really lazy... sleeping is almost a hobby to me and I don't have any homework. I'm too lazy to even play video games. Now that is sad. But I've been catching up on manga ~ I have some left over from this summer. You probably have no idea how shocking it is that I haven't read these yet. It's really really shocking. Normally I'd have to restrain myself from reading them all at once. I also read a bit of a normal book. But not much. So, my brain has gone to hell along with my muscles. Great. Just what I love. We have a College Algebra test when we get back too.... and a Chemistry test. I'll probably fail both spectacularly now. Oh well... I'll cram for the Chemistry test and if I fail the College Algebra test I'm allowed to take it again but I can only get up to an 80% on it. Which is fine. I suck at math anyway.

I managed to stay up until 4:00 AM yesterday. Now my brain is even less functional than usual. That's okay, though. I have time to get it back. At this point playing video games would probably do more good than bad. I wonder if being this lazy is normal... even on vacation?... probably not. But I've never been one to conform to normalcy. There's nothing wrong with being normal, though. I just don't see the point in working to fit myself into the box that society calls "normalcy"... I'm too lazy. So I'll just be myself. It's easy to be myself. I'm not good at acting. Besides, if not myself then who should I be? There's no point in being something you're not; you'll only ruin yourself in the end. Of course, you may ruin yourself anyway but, if you can be true to who you are it's better to be so.

But who am I to lecture on human nature? I've only been alive a short time. I've seen a lot of stuff. And there's much more I haven't seen and don't know. My whole life will be spent learning new things and then I'll die.

I don't mind the thought of death... I don't think I see myself quite like how other people see themselves or each other. I don't see myself like I see others either. For me it's like this ~ I exist, I am good at these things, I am bad at these things, these are my flaws, these are my good points. It's almost a value/point system. There isn't much emotion in it. So, for me death is just something that'll happen. When I die I will have died. That's it. I don't care if I'm forgotten or remembered. There are things I'd like to say to people before I die but I won't regret not saying it either. There's only one person I regret not having said anything to and they've already died anyway.

I wonder what it's like to have a normal perspective on these things...?


Japanese for the day

Unmei
Fate

Futago
Twins