It's meaningless, it's mentally and physically abusive. It makes me depressed, happy and psychotic. I love it. Sadly. I do. In love with the concept? No, just love it, thrive on it, and I want it to happen again and again. I'm ******** myself over but I don't care. Walking up with Bryan's best friend and strangley happing upon him and Mike at the lounge... was almost orgasmic. ******** Eric. Why do you make me feel so alive? You're like a drug, hahaha.
I've been thinking a lot lately. Why does Eric give it to me? And no one else? But does not want to have a relationship? Well he does... but then again no. Hmm? Why am I letting him use me, but ******** it feels great. Hahaha. We would never work out though. Too different, plus I hate him hahaha.
So I'm bored as s**t... I want to make coffee, but then what? Come back on here... that sounds hella gay. I already cleaned the house and s**t. Nothing much else too do but dishes and ******** THAT! I'm going to go drink a pot of coffee and not eat today. YAY! (I lie, I will eat.)
My dog is crying...?
Okay... So I think I'll draw something. Toodles.
I keep having a dream about being hella pregnant and being in a wedding dress waiting for my wedding to happen... but there's no one there. The person who I am marrying is a shock.. but then he never shows up. A sign maybe? He does always seem to show up right afterwards.
**EDIT 2:00 PM**
Breven brought up a good point. I don't even know why I'm bothering with Eric. He left me when I was drunk... he just ******** left me there to puke all over myself. He doesn't listen to me. He doesn't answer my messages. He only wants to do something if there's something in it for him. ********... I'm so pissed off right now. I'm mad at myself. Why do I have to be so stupid? ********! Hahaha.
I'm hungry but I know it would hurt to eat.
I'm thinking about going blonde..
YAY! I'mma go hang out with Thomas.
 Bunn-eh · Tue Dec 30, 2008 @ 06:30pm · 0 Comments |
