Grandpa is almost gone and I never got to say my goodbyes.
I got to talk to him on the phone but I didn't know what to say. I just said I hope I can see him, even though i knew i wouldn't be able to. I didn't want to say "I just wanted to tell you goodbye before you die"
I mean, what kinda message is that?
Oh well.
So my family is still out of town. Sure enough I was alone for x-mas.
Oh well... Mom should be home soon. She is sick right now so I don't know if she feels like traveling... specially since grandpa isn't gone yet, but isn't going to be alright.
I talked to James this morning.
He has another girl...
I am heartbroken... but I have to get over it. I have a guy. I mean, that didn't stop him from trying to get me last time... so if he really wanted me i know he would try. I guess it just hurts to know that he doesn't want me any more... and not that he simply doesn't want me... but that he DOES want someone else. I was fine when he didn't want me and didn't want anyone else...
I suppose he gets to dust off those lines and use them yet again, though... right?
"I would give up heaven for you!" "I would crawl through brimstone to reach you" "I have waited my whole life for someone like you".
Then he will tell her how badly I treated him... and she will hate me the same way i hated Nicole and Becca (I haven't cleared things up with Becca... i am wondering the truth behind that story).
I wish I could warn her... tell her what to look for. If he comes up with new stories... maybe she is different... but I wish I could tell her all the things he is going to say before she falls for it. Just because he says you are amazing and he wants to marry you doesn't mean he isn't going to dump you the first time you disagree on something... or... someone.
A new friend, perhaps. A girl that is prettier, more talented, and a model. A girl that he talks to more than he talks to you... a girl that he tells all his problems to.
I dumped my boyfriend for a guy that I talked to more than my boyfriend and a guy i told all my problems to... why wouldn't he dump me for that girl? I guess i tried to beat him to it... but he didn't see that... He still doesn't understand why i was so intimidated. He bluntly chose the models over me... He told me he wouldn't stop talking to them... wouldn't even reduce his talking to them, and most certainly wouldn't stop posing on the site or taking pictures with them...
This is the guy that would give up heaven for me? Heaven must not be worth much.
Anyway...
I didn't mean this to be as angry as it got. I guess I am still more hurt than I thought.
I just hoped that he would steal me away before I got married.
Why do I want a liar? Why do I want someone like that?
I am trapped between a liar who lies to hide things from me and a liar that lied to make me love him...
which one is really worse? I have been wondering that for a few months now and I can't reach and answer. Maybe I should dump them both and get a life!
~Dryden
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Sharpies are Toxic
That could explain a lot. O.o
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x-Neon Stitches-x
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