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I'm so ******** sick. I want to rip at my skin and pull off what I've become. What I've done to people--but that's just it. I have not done anything to PEOPLE--I've done something to one person and that one person will never let me forget it. I've hurt her and I seem to continue every single day I breathe. Nothing I can do can help, save that one thing I just do not want to do. No amount of apologies will make any impact. I've hurt her, even after I warned her what destruction I can cause, even if it is the furthest thing from my desire. I hurt, despite what I want. I try to follow what I want, and I realize that makes me a selfish person. I'm sorry. I am. But now, for some reason, I'm making him happy. I want to make him happy...I'm just worried when the day will come when I hurt him....I'm afraid of this. I think it will happen; it's happened in every other instance. I just hope, if the day DOES come, he will be strong enough to realize I'm not worth the trouble.