Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"You know its amazing how it can seem that everything seems wrong and one person can totally turn that around for you. Sam always knows what to do and what to tell me what I can't find the light of day. It means so much to me what he goes through just to help me through my bad days. I love him so much and I hate myself for being so blind as to see how much he really loves me. Although it's hard to see I really do try hard to be the girl he want's me to be, sometimes I get really scared that I'll never be good enough and he'll get sick of me and leave. Right now all I can hope is that that will never happen. He mean's so much to me I just hope he doesn't see it as giving me a second chance but as giving me time to grow. Sometimes I just grow so dependant on his love I forget how busy he gets and how little time he has for me some weeks. Soon I will learn how to really appreciate what he does for me and understand that I should be thankful for what I have and make the best of it. I just miss him so much sometimes and it's so hard to let go once you get a taste of what you want. I'll have to learn how to numb my craving so missing him isn't so unbearable. Even when I'm not thinking about himmy heart and body crave him constantly. I just want to feel his touch or hear him wisper into my ear, or even hear him laugh. Knowing he's happy always brightens my day in the greatest way. Every moment just waiting till I can hold him in my arm's again. I love him with all my heart and one day that will be easy for him to see. I just wish it was clear to him now but I guess that's my fault but that will change."