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Sunday October 12th
Today was a good day. I woke up and went to church and it was good. I was really tiered and had to try really hard to not fall asleep but it was still good. Then I went to lunch and had a good talk with my friend Farmer. He is a very good listener and he is one of the few people I can go to to talk about stuff, here at school. So that helped me a lot, and it got me thinking even more about life. I have realized that life will always have its ups and its downs and that the important thing is that I find the good in both. So it was good to get an uplifting attitude when it seems like for the past week or so I have been kinda down and not really knowing why. I also think I have figured out why I have been down and its that I am lonely so to speak. I am lonely in the idea that I don't have a girlfriend right now and for the past 3 years I have had a girlfriend during fall. Also it seems like most of my memories during fall involve some kind of relationship. For example on of my favorite and one of my most precious memories is when I was just 3 years old. My older brother who is 15 years older than I am and was a senior in high school. Him and his girlfriend, who he had been dating through all of high school, took me out into our backyard to play in the leaves. We played out there for at least 2 hours. Thinking about that now and how they actually took time away from themselves and included me in an activity really means a lot to me and speaks wonders about the two of them and their personalities. So it is just kinda depressing to me to go through fall single when I am so use to relationships during this time. And fall is my favorite time of year for so many reasons. Like the leaves turning colors and how beautiful it is, just the smell and feel of the colder crisper air, and it was my brothers favorite time of year and he was and still is my hero. So really I wish I was in a meaningful relationship right now. I just like the comfort that you can get from knowing that you have someone that is going to stand by your side through good and through bad, and that there is always someone that you can talk to and just be with anytime of day. So today has helped me to understand my feelings right now, to know that there is always hope, and to know that life will move on better days will come. Then also I had another study group this afternoon then had a discussion with my teacher about our midterm. So I feel much better about my American Government & Politics midterm that I have tomorrow and I am not worried about it any more like I was. Lastly I have realized today that I truly miss all my family and friends back at home. Even my older sister who can be very annoying sometimes. So I am looking forward to going home this Friday for a week and getting to visit and spend time with everyone there. Well thats everything for today, I'll be back tomorrow with how my exam went and just all my feelings and ideas about tomorrow.
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