Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. I have made so many ties to people and of course when you have so many ties, like so many dogs on leashes being walked at the same time, they can become tangled. The thing is while I am generous and nice, I am selfish and self serving. I have ties to some awesome people, people I have told I love and I do love. People who genuinely love me and treat me with respect. Then I go and met people who intrigue me more and I want ties to them. I want us to be tied together like the people I have tied to me already. Often times those people don't feel the same way but there I am with a rope nearly desperate to have them knotted to me. However I won't lie, the people tied to me often times bore me and I feel like I can do better half the time. sad Its a bad thing to feel and when I openly shun them for my own happiness and hurt them I feel like shi*t afterward. So yesterday I lost a tie to one of my deepest relationships here and it has depressed me. I cared for him deeply and the way it ended was not good. I will explain the relationship further in another entry but for now I miss what I thought he was and I hope to keep the ties to the one I love intact.
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Life In Transition
There is this optimistic, bubbly, happy, beautiful, and successful person buried deep inside me. However the current seemingly endless string obstacles that come at me force me to be this shattered shell of a human. I pick up the pieces as much as I
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