Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

lmfaoo.
you just make me laugh really, mom.
i hate how i find you so difficult, and you find me so difficult.
really, neither of us are wrong. you just have different views on life.
mmn, mnn. what a pity.

but i really do see holes in this one:
"did you make your bed this morning?"
"i don't know."
"don't lie to me rachelle, i hate it when you lie. that's why i don't want to talk to you sometimes. sometimes..."
"i seriously don't know, mom. i don't remember. i can't say yes or no."
"stop trying to defend yourself!"

UM.
HOW CAN I EVEN ANSWER THAT WHEN YOU ASSUME I LIE?
lmfaoo.
i almost kind of want to cry.
but really i'm laughing at it.
what a p***k.
i can't wait to tell you i'm a lesbian.
smoke, drink, have had sex.
THAT WOULD KILL YOUUU.

but then again, this vengeful state only lasts so long.
i'll start loving you again in a couple hours, and then we'll be joking.
if i were to be asked if i loved you or not, the feeling would be fluctuating.

i seriously did NOT remember, anyway. :/

i know i would hate to see you teary-eyed and heart-broken.
i want for that to never happen more than i want to see a revenge played.
it's hard to hold composure, but i'm glad that i can make it.
i'd only regret telling you all these things. all the things you'd never want for me to be.
but i love me.
this is my life that i lead.
and i lead it without you.
it'd break your heart.
i'll pretend to be the girl you want to be, when it comes to us talking.
but i'm always going to stay true to myself.

western individualism.

you know.
i'm not even going to bring this up, because it's not worth fighting battles with you,
but,
you're what psychology calls an "authoritarian" parent.
hell, dad is too.
authoritarian parents are actually
the least effective type of rearing of children.
correlational studies have proven that children under authoritarian parents, "do this because I SAID SO.", grow up to have less self-esteem and become dependent, unsure of themselves, unable to make decisions.
so,
lmfao.
just thank god i grew up to be the black sheep of the family and i have hell high self esteem.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST TYPE OF PARENTING IS?
PARENTING WHERE THE PARENTS EXPLAIN WHY.
LMFAO.
IT WAS SUCH A CLICK MOMENT,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ALL THESE YEARS.
AND HERE IT IS, A BOOK WRITTEN BY THE WORLD'S BEST PROFESSIONALS,
SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD PARENT YOUR KIDS IN A DEMOCRATIC MATTER.
HAVE CONVERSATIONS.
EXPLAIN.
COMPROMISE.

but.
lulsy.
you grew up in asia.
where,
i can't be over 140 pounds,
i have to stand up straight,
AND WHEN I MAKE ******** B'S
IN ******** COLLEGE CLASSES
YOU FREAK THE ******** OUT.
meaningless, stupid, unjustified little shits to make kids grow to be obedient.

SO FOR TODAY,
******** YOU MOM AND DAD.
********
YOU.

(:

i will say one thing though.
you guys did do something right as parents.
give me an education and protect me from harm.
but ask me and anyone of this culture,
you ******** up kinda big at times.
i suppose "********" is a hard word to use right now.
i suppose,
"could have made better decisions," is the better term.

but.
"********" you.
and that,
that i mean
in all its hardness and glory.

in a way, i do have my revenge.
because HAHA,
YOU'RE PISSED OFF,
WHILE I'M HERE LIVING MY GRAND OL' LIFE.
AND THAT'S
not
sarcasm.
i'm srsly ******** happy.
i have GREAT grades, on the way to a successful career,
have AMAZING friends that support me a ******** of a lot better than you have,
i've had amazing love lives, and a great girlfriend,
and just,
great self-relationship,
and just everything.
i so love my life right now.

you?
you're stressed.
good luck with that, truly.

know that i suck up to you to get what i want.
know that i'm a western human, and you live by eastern, communist standards.
we clash.
neither is right or wrong.
just ******** learn that.