more about the thing at the school. bleh I feel sick as hell. I know it's just stress too. I don't do well with stress **barf** I miss Karen already. when I need her most she leaves **sob** and Joe's finishing his finals and... bleh **barf** I hate this thing at the school it's being torn apart and nobody knows what side who's on it's so frustrating. oh, and that meeting? it started at 7 and we didn't get out until 11:45-ish at night. and we got very little actually resolved Diane tried to bend to Anna without comprimizing the school but Anna refuses to budge. it has to be one way. and she can't just, you know, work with Diane >< the problem is that Anna wants to be above all the staff and in control of the kids durring school hours. the whole point of the school is so that doesn't happen >< **barf** gawd this sucks **sobs** i had a attack last night, hysterics mostly, as I said earlier, I'm not good with stress... at all... ever I'm so foochin' emo and emotional right now. I feel uber hyper and about to cry and about to go into a fit of giggles all at the same time. and it's not P.M.S.ing I know that for a fact. I'm just... I can't handle all this!!!! a person can only take so much. I'm always expected to be the strong one but, even the strong one crumble and you know what they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall, and trust me. when I fall, I fall hard. My daughter and her friends are looking up to me and my friends are looking up to me for support. so I can't let them know I've cracked. I keep twitching, and can't sleep, and I've started going into random fits of crying. I'm really easy to set off and just over all, really miserable. I get mad at the smallest things (which is an even bigger deal cause I usually, like, never get mad.) I can't eat, my stomach hurts like hell. There's far to little joy in my life right now, coming from the girl who was overjoyed by a zipper or medal chain. GEH!!! I HATE THIS!!! I HATE EVERYTHING!!! i feel like crying again now... oh, but at the same time, like, I love Mana so much more because I'm super sensitive to everything not just the bad things. and my neck is completely ruined cuz I keep scratching at it. **sigh** oh well... this should be over soon I hope
The only person who really seems to be there for me right now is Joe. He's been a great help and I feel that I know I can depend on him. He listens to me rant for hours on end and simply agrees. I owe him a bunch and I know it even though I won't admit it (though I guess I just did >< wink Thanks Joe, you know I love you **grin** in a purely...not going out kinda way... cuz tsuki would get jealous... I miss Tsuki... **sobs in corner**
I also have to say thanks to Syrenchie and Ellie who have been ranting right there with me.
 lunarotimas · Fri Sep 23, 2005 @ 04:04pm · 0 Comments |
