> >Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
> >Please select from the following options menu:
>
> >If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
> >If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> >
> >
> >If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
> >
> >
> >If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the
> >line so we can trace your call.
> >
> >If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
> >Mother Ship.
> >
> >
> >If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You
> >which number to press.
> >
> >
> >If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
> >It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy
> >anyway.
> >
> >If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
> >
> >
> >If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
> >beep or after the beep. But please wait for the beep.
> >
> >
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> >
> >If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to
> >talk with you.
> >
> >
> >If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down
> >and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
> >
> >If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
> >
> >This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
> >You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person
> >to show you care.
View User's Journal
3
More Information
- About Us
- Terms of Service
- PRIVACY POLICY
- Rules & Guidelines
- Safety Tips
- Information for Parents
- FAQ / HELP
- Contact Us
- Change Ad Consent
- Arenas
- Contribute
- Dress Up
- Find Friends
- Forums
- Friends
- Games
- Guilds
- Journals
- Marketplace
- My Stuff
- Profile
- Shops
- Towns
- Trade
- World Map
© Copyright 2003 - 2024 Gaia Interactive, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Manage Your Items
- Avatardress up & check your inventory
- Avatar Builderbuild your dream avatar
- Aquariumcreate the perfect fish tank
- Carcustomize your ride for rally
- Housedecorate your gaia house
- Personas (beta)build your Persona
- Sign Up for Gaia News Weeklyproduced by Gaia art community for all Gaia users
Other Stuff
- Mailcheck your private messages
- Friendsconnect with your friends
- Profileedit your profile page
- Journalsyour personal journal/blog
- Achievementssee what you've accomplished
- Account Settingsadjust your preferences
- Gaia Labssee what we're cookin'
- Favoritessee your collections
- Marriageget Married!
- Vlogsee our vlog and Gaians latest creations!
Get GCash
- Support Gaiaand receive a special gift
- Purchase Onlinepaypal, credit card, mobile...more
- Angel Subscriptionsubscribe for extra benefits!
- Perks Subscriptionsubscribe for extra benefits!
- Gaia Rewardsearn stars and get rewards
Offers
- Earn Gaia Cashcomplete offers to earn GCash
- Earn MORE Gaia Cashearn even more gcash with offers from Revenue Universe
- Earn GCash from Surveyshelp answer surveys and earn GCash
- Daily Treatnot available on this landing page
Get Items
- Shops Directoryget stuff for your avatar
- Cloud 9angel subscriber exclusive!
- Cash Shopbuy premium items with gaia cash
- Rococogoodies from the (not so) distant past
- Mecha Nekofabulous finds for the thrifty spender
- Seasonal StylesDirect Sale
- Gaia Merchandisereal life Gaia merchandise
More Items
- Deals & New ItemsFind new items, and discounts
- Premium Itemslook your best with amazing items
- Marketplacegaia's user-run auction house
- Flynn's Plunderbid to win rare items at super low prices
- GoFusionfuse charms into awesome items!
- Alchemyturn formulas into items
- Tradeexchange items with users
Where Everyone Hangs Out
- Forum Directorymillions of posts on every topic
- Forum 2 Betamobile friendly forums
-
Browse Forums
-
My Stuff
Other Community Areas
- Guildsfan clubs for the stuff you love
- Chatchat in real time with other Gaians
- Art Arenasbrowse & rate gaian art galleries
- Clansplay zOMG with others
Virtual Spaces
- Rallyhang out, chat & race cars
- Friend Chatsinvite-only chat spaces
- Virtual Hollywoodhang out, chat & go clubbing
Fun Stuff
- Mangathe storyline of the gaia world
- Offline Eventscatch an IRL gaia event near you
- World mapsee the world of Gaia
- Workshopvisit Gaia Workshop
Gaia's Games
-
Lake Kindredbattle with pets!
-
Gaia AdventuresRPG adventures!
- RunwayShow off your fashion sense!
-
Switchemplay Switchem Blossoms!
-
SmashBloxsmash the blox off the board!
-
Word Blitztest your speed and spelling!
-
Stack Attackclear cards before time's up!
Mini-Games
- Fishing
- Tiles
- Blackjack
- Word Bump
- Dumpster DiveOther's junk can be your treasure!
Play with GCash
- Lucky Catchwin high quality items
- Narwheeldive in to win some amazing items
- Spinamiwin high quality items
- Lisa's Rainbowstep up for a makeover from Lisa!
Play with Platinum
- Golden Catchwin a new item with every spin