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Iv'e past my 15 years of life asking........and i still search for answers.
Why.....why i had to be born like this.......without feeling....or why my feelings are forbbiden for me.......I must say that in my life I already loved....but today i don't even feel like a human................................................................................
I remember how was the feeling of love....taking.......taking......Control....of my mind!.......and with pleasure i remeber the day that my feelings were banned from me.....i just asked......like i ask for everything......"why....whysuffer for something that don't like you"........this day my old "friend"......i don't know what he really is.....
sometimes just a voice in my head.....like my mind having new ideas......but sometimes i think it is a demon in my head merged with my soul................
In common days he just give me good ideas.......but he have the same hate by the word "love" that i have........then I was impressed with how fast i was able to turn love into hate.....pure.....so deep that i never felt this feeling again.......ha......haha..
So good memories.........now my questions not just destroyed my feelings....they will destroy much more....but there's nothing that i can do.....................................
My mind is now merged with a demon.......an spirit.......or anything that you wish to call him................and my hate by this words have become even more strong.......
I remember the day that i felt bad (almost vomited) by hearing the word "love" in my country language....hehe.... then i asked again, and received an answer......if i hear this word in my country language more than 10 times i vomit.......comproved...
hehehe........funny............maybe someday this change....................................