....now i dont even feel like venting.....but i think i will anywyas cu z it will make me feel better in the long run i sapose. yep its about my retarted sister again.and my retarted mother....i brought up the whole lets go out and try to have fun day today. my first saturday off in like 3 months. mom try to get out eirly so we can go do something. i didnt even know she did get time off till she comes home and im getting out of the shower and she starts screaming and yelling at kara lets go you were sapost to be ready at 1pm. i was like thanks for telling me guys i love you too what a great family this is. then of course im made to call and get directions and to see if there are any slots open at the hair salon.no and when kara hear i want to get my hair trimmed she gives me this look like drop dead you worthless peice of trash.and im like what the hell im on the phone. so you know i cant say anything. and mom keeps telling kara lets go come on. and she bitches at me i didnt even know we were going. and then she yells at me oh this is all about kara and going back to school. nice to know im appreciated. i bring it up for something to do and then you make it all about her! what the hell and she still hasnt given me the info i need to find out for college. but she can b***h and yell at me for not have two jobs or one full time!?!?!? she is constantly remindiong what a peice of trash i am. and im sick of it im not even allowed to feel human for a minute before she knocks be back over. im so sick and tired of it. all i want ifs for her to finally reconize how hard i work and how hard i try.but it doesnt matter to her. im acctually cry right now im so upset. this would make the 2 or 3 times today. so of course after she tells me i need to leave just get out of her house. her and kara go out to have fun and be thier typiical normal b***h-selves. but didnt you know every thing is about kara the moon and sun revols around her. she just has to bat an eye lash and she has everyones approval. i slave for it and still dont have it. the damn brat snuck out of some one elses house at 3am and still has more privileges than i do. she walks the street with slutty friends at 13 and comes home at midnight and still has all of moms love trust and respect. i do all the positive things requried of me and im the peice of s**t unwanted no good rotten bad rolemodel older sister. and god forbid if i actuallly did anyof that i would get beat then have to live on the streets.....well i was hungry but not anymore....hopefully im done crying now cuz my nose hurts and my head and eyes do to. U.U i think ill just stop trying at anything.....and senji-sama is mostlikely gonna read this....he is just too weird. so to you senji-sama STOP READING MY JOURNAL YOU SILLY SILLY LITTLE BOY!
ninja of the night
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