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Don't you just love it when your friends around you are either in a commited relatioship, just dating, or getting engaged, while your stuck with no one ...
That's how I am right now ... some of you may think that " Well ... maybe because you don't have anyone is because your a loser and no body wants to be with you... so don't whining to us Gaians about it!"
Well I'm sorry ... I just have to get this off my chest.
I just got out of a 5 year relationship with a girl that i thought would be the one and only for me ... but now i see that will never happen ...
I feel like I have slowly becoming a different person ... I've gone in and out of depression ... having suicidal thoughts ... and refuses to do anything fun ... I'm also getting sick now ...
I'm afraid of myself right now. I've started smoking out of my depression ... and I am simply heartbroken.
Why?
My ex-gf has somebody else ALREADY after leaving the town that both of us lived in. She told me that she didn't want us to be in a long distance relationship ... but i see now that she didn't want to be with me at all and wanted to be with this chick!
I simply hate it!
I feel like she was cheating on me ... I feel so empty ... so alone ... I just want to go to a cemetary and dig my own grave ... and hopefully an incubus will take my soul away to Lucifer ...
Not only am i depressed but another being inside of me is also depressed... he doesn't want to have to do with anyone anymore and wants to do the same thing ... just give up on life.
I can't believe that love could be such a strong and powerful thing when you have someone that you cherish above everyone else ... and when that person is out of your life ... you start to decay little by little inside ... my heart is already starting to decay ...
I just wish that someone out there will hear my prayers and fix me. Fix my broken heart ... fix my broken soul ...
 XxDarkMalicexX · Sat Jun 28, 2008 @ 08:30pm · 0 Comments |
