Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

How is it possible to be lonely in a crowd of people? To be lost even though you know right were you are? How can being yourself be wrong? Link was empty inside void of life as long as he held no answers to his questions. All around him everyone he cared for was happy. After everything they had been through they deserved to be happy, and he was happy for them, yet, despite everything why did he feel empty? Why did the weight of the planet feel so heavy upon his shoulders? Was it even fair for him to feel like this? He just didn’t know how much longer he could continue to pretend nothing was wrong, and act like he cared when in truth he didn’t anymore. He seemed to solve everyone’s problems, but did they hear his. Where were they with answers to his questions. Did they even know he had them, or did they even want to know, and was it even fair for him to want them?
They were happy, voicing his concerns would shatter that. No it wasn’t right. They didn’t need to worry about him. He could find his answers alone couldn’t he? He was the one with all the answers after all. The one who could fix any problem. A tool to be taken out when needed, but forgotten when his job was done. Sighing he new it wasn’t truly like this, but it felt like it was.
Staring at his hands he pondered what he really wanted. His friends deserved to be happy and he didn’t want to see this end. Did he want what they had? Perhaps on some level, after all wasn’t love what everyone was searching for? He didn’t even know what love was, or was it that he was just afraid of it? He was a book worm though. Even if he was to find someone they wouldn’t stay. The others made it perfectly clear his interests were annoying, and he wouldn’t stoop to pretending he was someone he wasn’t.
So if he couldn’t be someone else and his true self was boring and unwelcoming were did this leave him? Was this it? Was this as far as his life would take him; to always stand and watch as his friends get to live life while all he got to do was patch them up. Throwing empty questions at himself wasn’t going to give him any answers, but were did the adviser go when they needed the advice?
Shacking his head violently he closed his mind to all the questions. He couldn’t burden the others with this. He was just being selfish. If this was his fate then he should except it willingly and be happy for his friends. But why did he still feel empty?
With a heavy sigh Link forced himself to his feet and pasted a smile to his lips before heading back to the camp. The emptiness would fade in time as it always did. As long as he didn’t feel it all at the time he felt he could live with it. After all he had a role to play and he couldn’t allow himself to ever forgot it.