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So yea...Last night I told Nick about how I've been feeling about Alex lately (long freakin story not going into that) anyway yea... He was..hurt obviously but he was ok. Today he was ok...then after lunch.. ok so like i have to go down to the atrium for 8th period and he was there and he handed me back my hw and then like walked off. no big deal i was tired anyway ( i just woke up from a nap during theology lol) anyway yea. fast forward before algebra we walk up together. he sometimes walks fast to that class i didn't think much about it. after school he totally kept blowing me off and brushing past me. like seriously i lost balance the second time. he wouldn't talk to me. that was just kinda like what the ********... I mean.. I know he has problems too but.. I tried to talk to him and ask him if something was wrong. and he didnt even answer me. But yea. whatever lol. Chris was talking to me and was like whyy aleeeexx?? lol. He finds it shocking that i guess every girl tends to like him at some point. He says theres not much to him. But I say there's a lot to him. :] But yea. I spent most of the day and last night thinking of all the things I like and dislike about Nick and Alex. and the thing is.. I can't really say I like Alex because I barely know him. I know him enough to call him my friend but I'm not taking a chance on him like I did with Nick. I'm not losing the wonderful relationship I have with him. And not risking the good friendship i could have with Alex. The consensus of the people i talked to though is this. s**t i forgot what i was going to put now lol oh right. it's just that sicne nick was avoiding me for a bit i got closer to alex..and i was talking to chris and we were discussing how the way nick is acting makes no sense. if he's avoiding me because of what we talked about..doing that is totally a stupid move. if someone did that to you it'd naturally push you to the other person. but yea. I just think he's just stressed out and stuff. he says he has some problems that I'm not going to pester him about..but..i'd appreciate if he'd let me shoulder the burden with him. I was talking to Matt and he was telling me how much he'd appreciate if the one he loved was there to cheer him up and stuff and nick doesn't let me do that. he just shuns the world and that makes me all sad and stuff. Whatever.. just..bleh.

We'll see in time what happens.

Chris. If you ever read this. This is what I see in Alex...
He's cute
He's funny/random
He's smart
He seems to be an all around cool guy :]

But yea. Whatever. right now I love Nick more than anything and I can't stand to see him this way..and I can't even study right now.. and I really need to...
bleh..whatever will be will be...

Wish me luck on studying. My AP exam is on Friday. D: And my stomach is turning like a mother ********...