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It's so useless to extend my fingertips
just to stroke the wings..
of a black butterfly.
Trying to grasp something that I cannot ever obtain
Just finding so much more to lose than gain.
Looking into the mirror that has eyes of pure black
coaxing you with false and painful hope
You already have something special beyond words
...So you don't need me. No one does
I'm an accessory.
That's when I can decide
I will cry my own tears and bleed my own blood
I will love from the shadows unnoticed
I will hate only myself for what I have done
I will hear only my footsteps echoing back through the nightmare.
I'll watch my heart shatter at my feet and step on the pieces
and I'll reach for the monochrome heart that lies ahead.
She speaks with a black tongue and reflects every tear
Shattering the memories that scream at the back of my mind.
Each step like a thin pane of ice, hard can cold
Easily shattering with the weight of the burdens and sins I carry.
I'll watch my life in soundless motion
and paint my dreams with blood
And let my throat turn to dust and stop my breathing
I'll whisper your name and hope you can hear me
And I'll cry my hallucinations and suffocate in my own little Euphoria.
The sky is so colourless, so flavourless...
yet that is where we must fly?
Clip my wings and let me fall.
I'll shatter the mirror that speaks upon my neck
and I'll laugh.
I'll laugh with screams and tears into the night.
I'm sick of waiting for the rain to come, to wash away my everything
I'm sick of striving for a voice
I'm sick of trying to colour my heart with a cheap red crayon
I'm sick of the tainted sky,
the filthy lies
the broken promises
and the burden of keeping a promise I know I will break.
I'm sick of all the falseness and I want the truth
even if they are sickling claws that will puncture what I have left.
What do I have left?
Is it REALLY worth anything?
All that is in my eyes are such false realities
And all this time I really thought it was worth it,
worth the time, the suffering, the bleeding wings.
Blinding light so swiftly turned off right before my eyes
the eyes of hate and anger
envy and hollowness.
Let it rain blood and paint the cities red
so that the devil can sneak by
and drag us all down to a firey mess.
She doesn't have those black eyes or black tongue anymore
when I stare her down in the shattered pieces.
She has two silver pieces of shining ice in her eyes
and lips neatly painted with dark and shining blood.
She has no tongue, only a throat which will say all that needs to be said
by mere laughter
or mere sighs.
Every fear, burden, sin,
every worry, tear, and lie
will be that water that drowns me when I jump.
I won't interfere in any life
that seems so much better through such eyes.
It's so easy to say "I'm happy" when I wear my mask with a carved, wooden smile
yet my heart sinks when I try to mean it.
Try to mean it with all my will
and only hating myself even more in the end.
No one seems to worry, no one seems to care
but let it be.
Let it be.
I can't expect anyone to hear my feeble whispers
but it was my first choice to whisper.
I won't depend on anyone but myself
a simple sigh and tear will do.
It makes me kind of envious, it makes me kind of sad
it makes me want to tear it apart, it makes me kind of mad.
The way things are..
seems so unfair.
But then again my life is made up of many choices
that I myself can't even choose.
I hate it too.
The icey eyes, the bloody lips.
I'll shatter it once more
again and again
until there is no reflection
and I cannot see "myself" ever again
in the mirror that speaks