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You know that I was gonna read this. I'm trying to control myself now. I'm not going to get angry. I'm just going to keep calm and say what I have to say to you.

I know that you are not the only one holding pain. Everyone that holds depression in their personality or is one of their common moods would plant a fake smile on their faces. I've read and heard many things that depressing people do. I know that you are hiding things from me.....and that I am hiding things from you. I won't push, urge, or force you to tell me whats wrong.
Just know that, when you have to or want to talk to anyone about anything, you know you can come to me. You know I'm an understandable person, right?
Thank you.
If it also weren't for any of you guys, especially you and Shina, I would've locked myself away from everyone.
Just know that I will always be here for you, and I won't let you bring yourself to hell.

Also, just one more thing.
Do you reall think that I would be satisfyed with a forced smile to please me? It takes a whole lot of things to please me. What I have now isn't enough. I have something or someone that I am missing. It probably won't happen. It probably will.
Once I find that something, I will probably be satisfyed. I won't tell you what it is, because I know that you are not the one.

Gee Aerean that makes me feel a whole lot better! NOT!!!

Well maybe becuase that isn't suppose to make you feel better.

Woah, very noce, but depressing.

Ah... Mikoto, long time no speak.
But to see this, like I've said (I can read people too easily).
And like Aerean sai, everyone has their own little personal demons, everyone has issues, everyone needs attention but is afraid to admit that they do. Like me, I need it, but don't want it, I think I can do everything on my own, that's why.... Honestly, I kind of... Turned my bck on God, I think that no one can do anything, I don't think that I have nothing to live for. But! That's why everyday I have to remind myself:
"I have to live, I have people who want to see me again someday, I need to get up and face the day, I have to live so one day, maybe just one day, I can put a 'real' smile on everyones face again. I want to paint the picture of the people whom I have helped and have yet to help."
I want to help everyone who's in pain, EVERYBODY. Everybody but myself.
Actually, Hiegher said it herself. She's never really seen me cry about anything. ((eccept for that time in the RP when she died, I couldn't help myself and it was late!!! X3)) And Shina saw me sad during the last days at your guy's school, but I always want to help. ^^
((wow this is longer than I expected it to be! XD))
I don't know if you'll care about what I have to say right now, eberyone's stubborn in their own ways, ((like me and being helped, even if it comes to lifting somthing that weighs more than me.... ^^; ))
But anywho, I wish I could tell someone what I've done to myself over the years that I've been alive, and the things that have been done to me, but, that's something I'll probably never tell. ((espeacially the things lately.))
So... sorry if I wasted your time, I'm just a hand that's reaching out for you, and once you realize it, you'll see all that others that have been there all along.

Love you! (even though I may not have known you as long as everyone else...)

Holy s**t! That was long! O.o Sorry!