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Random introspection, and anything else I decide to write about.

I am social bug, usuallly, but I also like to be left alone. As much as i like to wallow in my emotions and talk, I like to be silent and not think of anything or anyone.
Silence and Darkness, they are good things. I hate it when I cant hear myself think. I believe that is why i talk aloud to myself sometimes, for even in my room I cant hear my own thoughts, wether they are important or not.

Creating a conversation with myself is easier than struggling to think while hearing the noises of the rest of my family. (and theres only 3 other members in it, and the walls are thin).

....I need to clear up my closet and just sit in there for a while with the light off and door closed. Do I meditate? I do not know. It just feels good to seclude myself.

Im not depressed right now, I simply want to enjoy my own company for a while.

... being in a group, yet separate...is both good and bad. There are only 2 people I can be with without feeling somewhat separated.

...there is another, who I care about out there, but, I havent been with him. I havent felt what his presence is like. Thus, i have no opinion on the feeling of being separated yet near. Talking online here....lets people connect,but it is print. there are feelings behind words, in all of the conversations in every topic but we cant see them, ... not all feelings and emotions, show through. you dont see the facial expressions. you dont hear the voice and its tones. You dont see the guestures of one's body. you cant really have a sense of their aura. Its not that i dont trust him, its not that at all. Its just the facts, really, of how the situation is. as much as Im happy when i talk to him, there is the ping of sadness that i cant actually be with him at the moment.

and now, even though i would like to pour out some more random thoughts here(and explain some thoughts in more detail), I must (unwillingly) take my leave, and bring myself out of my solitude mode.