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(Its 4:39 in the u.k)Well its my ex's anniversary today and i cant sleep, am use to wakein up evry morning and lukin over ma shoulder before ad go t work then she wud kiss me on my neck and how much she loved me and that someday will have are own place 2 kids and a vauxaull astra lol she loved astra's,or if she wasn't stayin at my house evry day without fail she send me a txt sayin love you hugs and kissies,and that a wunt av t struggle t make her dreams come true. Then i got a call from ma m8 sayin that he wanted me n claire to come up to his 18th bday so she siad that she was up for it we got there ad a few drinks and claire wanted t go outside for a cigarette but i wanted another drink while i waz gettin pissed she waz gettin stapped....IF ONLY I SAID YES!!!!........and not left her side like i siad i never would...SHE WOULD STILL BE HERE!!!!!!!.......(because evryone was pissed up offa spirits no1 could remembered anythin) And then i came outside to give her a hug and a kiss on the back ov her neck(she loved it on the bak ov her neck)i found her on the floor layin in a pudle ov her own blood(she must ov bin screaming)but the music was turned up so loud that you couldn't ere any1 in the house never mind outside it....(BUT THATS NO EXCUSSE FOR NOT BEEN THERE).......afta that for the first year i cried evry moring wen i woke up afta cryin myself t sleep, because i would luk ova ma shoulder wishing that it was a nightmare and that she was still here. Some times i use t kid myself by lukin at my phone to see if she'd sent me a txt but in the end it use to make it worse,it got to a point were i thought i could here her sweet fragile voice.It use to drive me insane running to an ecko running to what i thought was claire's voice. She loved tuelips by readin this girls do you think she would like if i wrote in a message in the flowers hugs n kissies or do you think i need to let go and move on can you plz tell me....thank you....R.I.P....claire....for ever loved