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hey peoples
i got really tired one night and my mind was reeling so i started rambling in my head...soon i realized that it sounded like a poem so i decided to write it down then i decided to add onto it months later....be warned this is the first poem i have EVER! written so tell me if you like it, and i haven't thought of a name either but here it goes...

Her hair is like a summer day
Her smile a fleeting as the ocean's spray
Her lips as soft as buttercups
Her frown as sour as lemon-drops
Her rage is like a mighty gale
Yet i wish to help her on her trail
Her love is like the salty seas
Her mood changes with such ease
She won my heart with her charms
I just wish to hold her in my arms
Her head on my shoulder is such bliss
We sealed our fate with a kiss
Alas to this i must confess
Our union is in distress
Cupid's arrow has missed her heart
we were doomed from the start
a fortnight we could not last
is was over just so fast
hitting bottom like a stone
i can't help but feel alone
my life so empty of feeling
my heart just keeps reeling
staring silently at this page
i live my life in a cage


tell me what you think of it?






User Comments: [4] [add]
Unlit Candle1
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Feb 10, 2008 @ 11:49pm
i would say great but no


commentCommented on: Thu Feb 21, 2008 @ 11:27pm
This is GREAT! I love it, since when are you so poetic and romantic???



Darlin Darlin Darlin
Community Member
Unloved_Longing_4_U
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Mar 14, 2008 @ 10:14pm
It's really good if it's actually the first poem you've ever written


commentCommented on: Fri Mar 14, 2008 @ 10:20pm
It's really good if it's actually the first poem you've ever written



Unloved_Longing_4_U
Community Member
User Comments: [4] [add]
 
 
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