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Lost Souls
This is my story that I am working on. Please note that all characters are on my copy write and If I find them any where else I just hope you know even if I cant do anything about it Karma will. If you do read please leave a comment
Chapter One: The Sermon
Alexias oke one morning as the sun had started to rise. The breakfast bell tolled loud and clear.
"Kai, kai wake up the breakfast bell has tolled" Alexias said gently shaking Kai's shoulder.

Kai jerked awake and looked up at his sister.
"Okay, lets get some breakfast" he said standing up and pulling his blue shirt on.

Alexias nodded then walked out of the cabin with Kai at her side. Both of them walked to the mess hall where upon entering they sat don at the back of the hall. Everyone looked at them for a brief moment before looking up the front here a man had stood up.

"The day of reckoning is upon us...Cast aside your sins to let god into your life" the man said with a smile. His greying hair sparkled gently in the light that shone down on him.
"As most of you know I am Father Pecan, I say this because we have two new members to our family. Alexias and Kai summers please come up the front"
Alexias and Kai looked at each other before standing up and walking down the front.

"These two have come to join our humble home, till god sees them fit to leave" Father Pecan added as he placed a fraile looking hand on Alexias shoulder and his other hand on Kai's.

Alexias went stiff as Father Pecan placed his hand on er shoulder. She bowed her head and looked at the ground.
"Can we go back to our seats please?" She asked in a timid whisper.

Kai looked at s sister a little worried Its not like her to be like this he thought to himself. He had never seen Alexias be scared before.
"You can, once you have said grace of course" Father Pecan said with a smile as he removed his hand and sat down at his seat.
Alexias and Kai looked at each other for a brief moment then smiled weakly.
"Thankyou god our saviour for delivering this feast...We know you will be here to come and slay the beast" both of them said at the same time then walked back to their seats.

Everyone in the hall watched them before saying "Amen" and turning to their bowls before they started to eat.
"Alex what happened up there?" Kai asked as he sat down and looked at his bowl with a frown.

"Nothing...Nothing at all" Alexias replied as she picked up her spoon and let the contents of hat was on it drop back into the bowl.
"Do they expect us to live off this?" She asked looking at Kai with a frown.
"Dont judge till you taste it" Kai replied raising his spoon to his lips and taking a small bite.

"Well..." Alexias asked watching her brother with baited breath.
"Its okay...but they cant expect us to live off it forever" Kai replied as he ate a few more mouthfuls.

Alexias looked at her bowl and shook her head
"On second thought im not hungry" she muttered with a sigh pushing the bowl away from her.
Kai rolled his eyes and stood up picking their bowls up and taking them to the front wash counter.
Kai then returned and sat back down next to his sister.

"Now that we are all fed, I say these words...In this camp you are allowed to do anything you want but do not go past the river...what ever you do god is always watching you" Father Pecan said as everyone looked at him.
Kai and Alexias stood up and walked out the hall with everyone else.
"Wonder why we cant go past the river" Alexias muttered with a shrug as she made her way back to the cabin.

"Dont know...but lets not go there" Kai said with a sigh as he followed Alexias. Once back at the cabin Alexias and Kai sat down at their desks and pulled their journals towards them reading the entries they had written the night before.

"Kai lets go for a walk...Maybe we can meet the oter teenagers of this camp" Alexias said after a while with a small smile.
"That i have to say is the best idea you have had since arriving" Kai joked with a small laugh as he stood up. Grabbing his blue jacket and Alex's red cloak he held the cabin door open for her.
Alexias laughed slightly as she took her cloak from Kai.
"here shall we look first" she asked him
"We could try the old oak tree we saw on the way up to our cabin the other night?" Kai suggested with a smile
"Yeah lets go then" Alexias said as she made her way up the path with Kai.

"Alexias please tell me why when we got called to the front of the room you went all stiff?" Kai asked looking at his sister a little worry crossed his face.
"I...I dont know why Kai...thats the thing...as soon as Father Pecan put his hand on my shoulder, I felt cold...he scares me Kai" Alexias replied looking at her brother shaking her head.


"I wish I could help you Alexias...But I dont know what to do in that situation" Kai said shaking his head and looking up at the old oak tree as they approached.

Black_Raven_Hearts
Community Member
  • [01/30/08 11:55am]
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  • [01/30/08 11:53am]
  • [12/18/07 07:23am]
  • [12/13/07 09:36am]




  • User Comments: [1]
    Call_Me_Deb
    Community Member





    Thu Dec 27, 2007 @ 09:46pm


    It's okay as a first draft, but you need to work on proofreading, backstory, and depth. Why are the main characters at this camp? What are they like? It's not enough to just say it's not like Alexias to get worried if we don't know anything about her in the first place. Show, don't tell. Good luck! biggrin


    User Comments: [1]
     
     
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