Waiting for my surrender
I can't make it through
No not without you...
Yeah sounds like a love song doesn't it? it... just came to me. I don't know. I do know that the world is pretty cruel to me at times.
An old friend called me after after a couple of years. I was amazed, I totally forgot about him. I thought he was moving anyway. So I was pretty surprised. We talked and he told me that he got a laptop and got internet access to it. (They never had a computer...) So i said that he should reactivate his mail account now that he doesn't have to go to his friends to check it. And I told him that he should get a messenger. He got yahoo. I like Yahoo's, but I like AIM more. Well I emailed, my friend Phoenix Angel0238 and she was amazed. We all started to IM each other and really have a good time. Both of us knew him and were happy to talk to him again.
Then he said that he remembered something that happened a few years ago. (It's a little embarrassing. I'm not really gonna say what, but I will tell you that he never forgot!) He told me and I was like, kinda teasing him and I know that he liked it. Well Phoenix Angel0238 stuck her nose in where it didn't belong. She wanted to know if he liked me or her.
Well she asked and got an answer. Guess not the one she wanted. He said that he liked me and wanted to date. I was shocked, not sure how to take that. I accepted and then this feeling washed over me. I have no idea what it was, but something inside was saying that it wasn't a good idea.
I didn't answer the phone the next two days cause I didn't feel real good. I mean I felt sick. Then I was worse now that I have that feeling. I know that I had to play geek squad and help my aunt and grandmother with their Computer and TV. (My grandparents always get that TV talking Korean and going to blank pictures) So I went down to help. I fixed the TV since it was first on my way. Then I went to fix the comp. My sis was there and we all talked and I never got back till like 12am. (I left around 4pm)
I had a message from my (bf) friend to call him back. Then a call from Phoenix Angel0238 saying we had to talk and then my friend calling back saying Phoenix Angel0238 told him I was mad at him and didn't want to talk to him.
I blew up of course. I never said I was mad, I never said I didn't want to talk to him. Just this feeling overcame me and I just didn't know what it was.
So I tried calling and she didn't answer, so I left her an email. I was steamed, and boy did I let her know.
So instead of her calling me back and telling me what happened, she makes my friend tell me. That's wrong. He calls me up in the middle of my dinner and says that there was a misunderstanding. Well I don't call back, i'm kinda miffed. So I check my email. here's what Phoenix Angel wrote:
Quote:
i understand what happened and i am sorry for any confusion but i would like to take this oppertunity that upon reading this letter i regret to inform you that we are no longer friends nor will we ever be so have a nice day and a nice life good bye dear
I know when she gets mad she blows off steam. I've seen it. I know. So I'm not allowed to yell at her and blow off steam? Why is it when I don't do something I get yelled at, And then when I do it I still get yelled at? Or I do something and I get yelled at, but everyone else in the world can do it?
I guess I just lose huh? I mean why even bother, she doesn't care. I can make a new friend I guess. oh well, it still hurts.
Oh and remember when I had that feeling? I still did. But I remembered that soon I was going to go to college, and I thought that since i was gonna be too busy to see my friend (as we were "dating" wink I thought that it was best to tell him not at this time since i was headed to college. After that, the feeling vanished. Maybe I'm not supposed to date him?
