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Charmed season five quotes! |
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*A witch's tail Part 1*
1) Phoebe - "Ok Piper I can't be late getting to the office today I have aradio interview with our morning guys Pip and Skeeter!"
Piper - "That's Skip and Peter. Could you forget about your advice column for two seconds? Come and see where we're putting the nursery."
Phoebe - "You're putting it in your closet. I've seen your closet there's a lot of shoes honey."
2) Phoebe - "Speaking of ahead I can't believe you guys didn't notice my billboards downtown."
Piper - "Oh honey of course we noticed them. You can see them from a passing 747."
3) Phoebe - "Well you know nothing perks up a girl's career like sending her husband straight to hell"
4) Leo - "And you, you're getting so caught up with this magical kick. I mean look at your hair its still red from the potion you blew up last night."
Paige - "Do you have any idea how much this would cost in a salon?"
5) Piper - "Aw look how squishy I was!"
Leo - "You were so adorable"
Piper - "Leo you can't even see the picture"
Leo - " I'm your whitelighter I've been watching you ever since you were a baby"
Piper - "Uhuh Yeah see thatıs too creepy to think about"
6) Craig - "You know what I love?"
Mylie - "No what?"
Craig - "You're enthusiasm"
Mylie - "Oh, what else?"
7) Piper - "Excuse me, when you said sea hag did you mean like old woman hag or evil magic hag because see I'm not really in the battle mood today"
Mylie - "Uh She's a kind of both."
Piper - "Uh huh"
Paige - "Forget that, what's life like under the sea? Does your skin get wrinkly? Does algae pose a personal hygiene problem?"
8) Piper - "Now these bones um could they be bones of mortals perhaps the sea hag killed?"
Paige - "Piper"
Piper - "Wha...hat"
9) Phoebe - "All that for a guy? Boy did you get taken for a ride"
10) Piper - "Oh no no no! This is good because all we have to do is find a fish lover get him to spill his guts and then we don't have to face the sea hag"
11) Paige - "If your boyfriends love can make you human why don't you just tell him you're a mermaid?"
Mylie - "You mean that I'm a genetic freak with a fish tail coated in glangealer slime?"
12) Paige - "Ok, what is going on with you guys?"
Phoebe - "Sorry like you need a man to be complete? That kind of thinking dates back to the days when we all had tails"
Piper - "Maybe Phoebes right. Maybe we just throw the mermaid back into the ocean and we keep the manor hag free zone"
13) Paige - "What is going on with everybody? We're talking about the sea hag, mysterious monster of the blue sea! The one whose name strikes fear in the hearts of sailors everywhere."
Piper - "Ok. Somebody's been watching way too much discovery channel"
Paige - "You're probably right but she's an interesting evil specimen. Reminds me of this water demon that I read about in the book. She kills in the most fascinating way"
Piper - "Paige!"
Paige - "What?"
Piper - "We know how it kills."
Paige - "What'd I say?"
Piper - "It killed mom"
14) Phoebe - "You evil b*****d! Why didn't you just stay where you belong!"
Cole - "Wait a minute I'm not evil!"
Darryl - "Do you have any idea what you just did to me in there?"
Cole - "Hold on. I'm not evil, I'm good."
Phoebe - "You're good at crushing my every hope and dream!"
Cole - "Well I'm going to make up for that."
Darryl - "You just made me look like a fool in front of the judge!"
Phoebe - "You are like a pit bull with a death grip"
Darryl - "You know I should arrest you on principle!"
Cole - "Too many people talking at once"
15) Paige - "You stabbed him?"
Phoebe - "Yeah"
Paige - "Good!"
16) Piper - "Phoebe! You can't stand you don't have legs!"
Phoebe - "Ok well why me? Why did I get the tail we all read the spell together?"
Paige - "Maybe 'cause you're the best swimmer?"
Phoebe - "Yeah at the Y! But this is the ocean! It is very cold and I'm allergic to shell fish!"
17) Piper - "Well maybe if you put your head under water?"
Phoebe - "And get my hair wet?"
Piper - "Phoebe you're a mermaid!"
18) Piper - "We'll take our chances follow the stench!"
Phoebe - "How?"
Piper - "I don't know! Get in touch with your inner fish!"
19) Paige - "Thatıs actually the most fun I've seen Phoebe have since Cole died!"
Leo - "Which time?"
Paige - "Good point"
20) Craig - "Where am I?"
Phoebe - "Somewhere off the North Atlantic would be my gut instinct"
21) Craig - "Who are you people?"
Paige - "Witch"
Leo - "Angel"
Phoebe - "Mermaid"
Paige - "Don't you mean witch?"
*A witch's tail Part 2*
1) Paige - "It's official, Phoebes on the run"
Leo - "On the swim, technically"
2) Piper - "Yes, we've established. I was a spineless coward in the face of evil. Now what don't I know?"
3) Leo - "It's ok to be afraid."
Piper - "No its not. Did you see what my fear did to Phoebe? I'm supposed to be stronger than ever now that I'm pregnant for our daughter and my sisters. It's my job to take care of this family."
Leo - "Sometimes its this families job to take care of you"
4) Paige - "Ugh no fish. Not now, not ever"
5) Cole - "I'm sorry did you say mermaid?"
Paige - "Yeah, gills, fins, scales, and all"
6) Cole - "Well I never meant to hurt her."
Paige - "You didn't mean to do lots of things but they happened. You are a one-man death squad, bodies, blood, and pain follow you wherever you go."
Cole - "Well there may be some truth to that but it's in my past, I came back to make up..."
Paige - "Make up for it? If you want to make up for it go to Tibet, join a monastery, pray for absolution, but don't put your guilt on us."
Cole - "You don't understand I love..."
Paige - "Love Phoebe? Ah what is it with you guys like it's all about you and your feelings."
Cole - "What about Phoebe's feelings? She still loves me."
Paige - "Wrong! She doesn't love you she thinks your an evil freak with super powers from hell and battery acid for blood. She doesn't love you she wishes you'd stay dead!"
Cole - "She told you that?"
Paige - "Told me, she didn't have to tell me! She's a mermaid, her body erupted in scales. She had to turn into a fish to get away from you do you get it now? Listen the only way you can help us get our sister back is for you to disappear forever."
7) Phoebe - "Get your filthy meat hooks off me!"
8) Paige - "Here's your water"
Phoebe - "Ugh, it could use a little salt"
9) Piper - "Demon? Did somebody say demon?"
Leo - "Yeah one chased Phoebe back home"
Piper - "Well that wasn't nice of it. Welcome home"
10) Piper - "So what about this demon? Where is it? I'd like to thank it and then kill it"
Paige - "Are you sure you're ok?"
Piper - "Yeah never better. Ready to face my fears, like that painting. I hung it on the wall because I was afraid to tell Leo that it was ugly but now, no offense honey."
11) Leo - "Necron, skeletal being that hovers between life and death. Has the power to incinerate any living creature and..."
Piper - "Yadda, yadda, yadda."
12) Phoebe - "Will someone please get me back to the ocean before I suffocate! I need the water!"
Paige - "You want water? I'll get you some water."
Phoebe - "You are holding me hostage!"
Paige - "Yup, looks like it."
Phoebe - "Look, I am not the common gold fish I cannot ignore the call of the sea!"
Paige - "Well call of the common bathtub is just going to have to do."
13) Paige -"What is going on are you ok?"
Piper - "Minor set back, I'm fine."
Paige - "Minor set back? The room is on fire! You're supposed to be figuring out a way to vanquish Necron not yourself!"
Piper - "Oh come on we weren't using any of this junk anyway. Where's the fish girl?"
14) Reporter - "Gosh I am so sorry your sister said we were doing the interview in the bathroom."
Phoebe - "Well that should have been your first clue that my sister sprang from the shallower end of the gene pool!"
Piper -"Oh come on Phoebe you wanted fame go ahead and grab it! Carpe Diem."
Phoebe - "Don't mention carpe around me please?"
15) Paige - "What is going on? We heard Phoebe scream."
Piper - "Shh she's doing a TV interview"
Paige - "In the bathtub?"
Piper - "Don't worry she's not showing any tail. That Nancy O'Dell has like perfect teeth!"
16) Paige - "Well try to see where she's coming from she's barely been able to function and she blames herself for what happened to Phoebe."
Phoebe - "Wait what do you mean what happened to Phoebe? What happened to me is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am swimming with the dolphins now, I'm basking with belugas."
17) Piper - "Oh please please somebody help me! The mean demon is dipping me into the water and its really cold!"
18) Piper - "Is that the best you got?"
19) Paige - "I'm not playing any games I told you Phoebe needs your help!"
Cole - "And you need psychological help"
20) Piper - "Ok, I've had enough. Your treatment of me is shocking. Get it?Shocking?"
21) Piper - "Oh look out Phoebe he's packing the seashell"
22) Piper - "My baby. What did you do!"
23) Paige - "No wonder those demons carried a warning label"
24) Piper - "I don't want to leave my baby without a mother."
Leo - "Well you have something that she didn't"
Piper - "Oh yeah what's that?"
Leo - "Me"
Paige - "And me"
Piper - "But not her"
25) Phoebe - "This isn't happening. This can't be happening! This goes beyond stalking!"
*Happily ever after*
1)Paige- "You want my advice?"
Piper- "Not really."
2)Piper- "Every other mother-to-be does not have to worry about her child orbing to Tahiti when they are sent to their room."
3)Piper- "You think Cole is going to try and kill us? That would not be exactly the best way to win you back."
4)Cole- "Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?"
Phoebe- "With my demon ex-husband from Hell? No, Cole. I don't."
5)Grams- "Have you been exercising your powers daily?"
Piper- "Do I need to?"
Grams- "Well, you know, if you don't want to lose control of them. Did you perform a ritual to promote growth?"
(Piper and Leo look sheepish)
Grams- "Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites?"
(Piper and Leo continue to look ashamed)
Grams- "Sweetheart, what did you do?"
Leo- "We built a nursery in our bedroom closet."
6)Paige- "No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"
Grams- "Oh, I'm over that."
7)Grams- "I certainly don't want a body if it's going to be chopped up."
8)Phoebe- (about Grams' corporality) "Wait. What did I just hug? Where'd you get the body from?"
9)Leo- "Because nobody knows where it is. It's location has been kept secret even from the Elders."
Paige- "Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?"
10)Cole- "Am I up to something again?"
11)Phoebe- (about Paige) "Dead? What do you mean she's dead?"
Leo- "Don't worry. The dwarves are all over it."
Phoebe- "The dwarves?"
Leo- "Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendents of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now."
12)Stinky- (about Grams) "Think she knows that's a wolf?"
Head Dwarf- "Not our business."
13)Cole- "Keep your hands off my pumpkin."
14)Piper- "Aw, back off, Grams. I just saved your a**."
Grams- (incredulously) "Uh!"
Leo- "She's back."
15)Cole- (holding the pumpkin) "Your sister. And, uh, I had nothing to do with this, I swear."
16)Piper- (about Little Red Riding Hood's cape) "I knew I would have to put on this stupid thing eventually."
17)Evil Witch- "Well, then if I'm not the most powerful witch in all the land, who is?"
Piper- "Take a wild guess."
18)Paige- "Can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?"
Grams- "You were dead, dear. But, bright side, at least now we have something in common."
*Siren song*
1)Paige- "Are you trying to kill us?"
Piper- "No, I'm trying to get a little attention around here, which these days tends to require a small explosion."
2)Piper- (to Paige) "Geez, you're like my husband with boobs."
3)Leo- "I'm sure that it is just all this arguing has got the baby upset."
Piper- "Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy."
4)Piper- "Leo, I have growing powers inside of me. Powers that I don't understand, and the only person who does understand them never has time to talk. Add that to raging hormones and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the 'crying thing'."
5)Piper- "I think my half-whitelighter baby thought that fireworks would be prettier than demon guts."
6)Piper- "Okay, vanquish demon first, kill husband later."
7)Piper- "Kiss this, b***h!"
8)Piper- "I hit her with flowers?"
Paige - "You're welcome."
9)Leo- "What happened?"
Piper- "Before or after you were making out with the demon?"
Paige- "I'll just go get the book."
10)Piper- "We were communicating. We were just communicating loudly."
11)Paige- "You two are only going to get your powers back once you've learned your lessons."
Piper- "Eh. I hate that. It's just so very after-school special."
12)Cole- "You're pregnant?"
Piper- "Well, I was. Now I think Leo is."
13)Leo- "Are your boobs always this sore?"
14)Phoebe- (about Leo's spell) "'We harken ye'? What are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?"
15)Piper- "Paige, it's our compassion, not our powers, that separates us from the bad guys."
16)Leo- "Hey, I'm not nauseous!"
Piper- "Hey, I am! Wait...that's not good news."
17)Phoebe- "'Sorry I tried to strangle you.' Probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday, huh?"
*Magic wears a mask*
1)Leo- "Piper, you're having a baby. Your priorities have changed."
Piper- "Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now. It's been in all the papers."
Leo- "Are those women trying to save the world from demons too?"
2)Leo- "How about I buy you a drink?"
Dave- "Thanks. I've all ready got one."
Leo- "That's not gonna be enough."
3)Paige- "It's weird talking about sex with a pregnant lady anyway."
Piper- "Well, uh, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant?"
Paige- "Eh. I don't want to know that either."
4)Paige- "I didn't plan on orbing out, Piper. That wasn't my particular goal at the moment."
5)Piper- "I'm pregnant. Not terminal."
6)Piper- "So what do you say to an overbearing younger sister who's treating her pregnant older sister like a porcelain doll?"
Phoebe- " 'Thank you'?"
Piper- "How about 'Knock it off'?"
Phoebe- "That's probably better advice."
7)Phoebe- "Besides, what about Paige? Can't she come?"
Piper- "Apparently not. She's with Dave trying desparately not to orb."
8)Leo- (referring to Paige's scant attire) "Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?"
Paige- "I was dealing with some personal issues."
Leo- "Well, I'm your whitelighter so if you ever want to talk..."
Piper and Paige- "NO!!!"
9)Piper- (to Paige) "Come on. Let's get you into something less comfortable."
10)Phoebe- "Cole, what are you doing here?"
Cole- "Well, I got a call from one of the tenants saying that Wonder Woman was torturing the landlordwhat the hell are you doing?"
11)Ramus- (to Leo) "You could stand to be a little tougher sometimes. Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you can't kick some a** now and again."
12)Leo- "Isn't it against the rules?"
Ramus- "I'm retiring. What do I care?"
13)Piper- "And apparently good for you. Since you worked through your issues with Dave I gather."
Paige- "Yes, I did. Thank God. I just about to join a convent."
Piper- "Um hmm. Must have been the pink leather. Broke you down."
Paige- "Don't laugh, but I think it might've been. Something about leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. I guess that'll free any girl up."
*The eyes have it*
1)Piper- "It was all of those women showing off their sonogram pictures, and it was just working on my last nerve. Like, 'Look, it's Jasper's first photo. And it's going to go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says 'Jasper's First Photo'!'"
Leo- "Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax."
2)Paige- "So I basically come off as this big, dumb, fat, unemployed loser."
Piper- "No, Paige, you're a big, dumb, fat, unemployed loser who saves the world."
3)Leo- "You guys yell at her. I'll go check with the Elders and see what they know."
4)Piper- "See, I need an epidural just to watch this!"
5)Paige- "Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?"
Piper- "No, it's The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy."
6)Paige- "All of them had their eyes gouged out."
Piper- "Ew."
Leo- "Now the video doesn't seem so gruesome."
Piper- "Ha! Speak for yourself."
7)Piper- "Wow, prenatal yoga this morning and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends."
Paige- "You're mean."
8)Piper- "Okay, well, I need a cracker in this lifetime. Would it be bad if I grabbed that box of saltines?"
Phoebe- "Probably."
9)Piper- "So your new-and-improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us we're screwed?"
10)Paige- "Did I ever mention that I..."
Piper and Phoebe- "Have no life? Yeah."
11)Piper- "Midwives? No, see, I'm not having this thing naturally. I need lots and lots and lots of Western medicine."
*Sympathy for the demon*
1)Leo- "What's going on, Paige?"
Paige- "I'm just trying to conjure some doves."
Leo- "Huh. Down here in front of all the windows, huh?"
2)Piper- "And so I was thinking, you know, when I get back, we could start practicing for the next kid."
Leo- "Oh..."
(Piper grabs Leo and kisses him)
Paige- "Ew. I'm still here."
3)Paige- "What is wrong with you? Is this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Piper? Make up your mind, lady."
4)Paige- "Oh, the Elders don't know anything. What a shock."
5)Leo- "As your whitelighter, I'd say go with your instincts."
Paige- "Okay."
Leo- "But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters would be pure suicide."
Paige- "Great. You've really helped clarify this issue."
*A witch in time*
1)Piper- "What is this a brothel?"
2)Phoebe- "Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles."
Piper- "You guys are all ready getting freaky?"
3)Paige- "Phoebe said so much about you we just wanted to get to know you a little better."
Phoebe- "Yeah. Yeah."
Piper- "Although probably not as much as we just did."
4)Leo- "Ladies, death cannot be feared. For death, in time, comes to all witches. You know, the witch who says she's not scared in battle is a liar. The real witch is the one who fights."
Piper- "Honey?"
Leo- "Yeah?"
Piper- "Zip it."
*Daddy dearest*
1)Phoebe- "I mean, you're not even showing yet...except for your boobies."
Piper- "I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge."
2)Paige- "We are not slobs!"
Piper- "Oh, really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?"
Paige- "That's gazpacho, not potion."
Piper- "Well, you know what? Blenders have lids."
3)Paige- "I am now Paige Matthews, whitelighter-witch. I'm a hyphenate."
4)Piper- "How are you supposed to trust people who don't answer your questions?"
5)Paige- "Enough, Negative Nancy, you just scurry back to your tidying. I don't want anybody to rain on my whitelighter parade."
6)Paige- "I am good at this."
7)Paige- "Well, here we are. Home sweet home."
Sam- "It's a dump."
Paige- "No, it's shabby chic."
Sam- "It's a shabby dump."
8)Piper- "Whitelighters. They're such pessimists."
9)Piper- "You knew about this supernatural Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?"
10)Paige- "Trevor is an orange, my charge is an apple. I don't see the connection."
11)Piper- "Apparently the baby here prefers Mommy to be indestructable."
12)Leo- "Yeah, that little elf? Got a big mouth."
13)Paige- "Anything from you over there in the peanut gallery?"
*The mummy's tomb*
1)(Piper emerges from a dressing room wearing a maternity outfit)
Paige- "Awww, it's cute!"
Piper- "I don't wanna be cute."
2)Piper- "I didn't have to resort to maternity clothes. Everything is so bright and cheery and ruffly."
3)Piper- "Look, do you have anything to go with combat boots? You know, for the mom-to-be who kicks some a** upon occasion."
4)Paige- "I can understand wanting to take a break from guys but, come on she's gonna run out the batteries."
Piper- "Aw, Paige!"
Paige- "What?"
(Paige's cell phone rings)
Paige- "Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe. We were just talking about you."
Piper- "And your batteries."
5)(Morris extends his arm to touch Piper's belly)
Morris- "Hey, if you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a preg..."
Piper- "Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub."
(Morris retracts his arm)
Paige- "She's a little sensitive right now."
Morris- "I can see that."
6)Piper- "Everyone's treating me so differently. I'm still me. There's just a whole lot more of me going on."
(Paige walks into the attic)
Paige- "Hey, guys. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?"
Piper- "Yes, but I was done. Thank you."
7)Piper- "No, she is not dead. She is possessed and that is all."
8)Cole- "Can't you at least let me not die in peace?"
9)Piper- (about Cole) "No offense, but we really need to find a way to kill him."
10)(Piper walks into the living room to see Phoebe and Paige wearing beauty masks)
Piper- "Aah!"
Phoebe- "What?"
Piper- "Oh, my God. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No demons dare drop by here."
*The importance of being Phoebe*
1)Phoebe- (kissing Piper's stomach) "Goodbye, my little niece."
Piper- "You're smashing me."
Phoebe- "I love you!"
Piper- "Get off me!"
2)Piper- "No, no, no. We don't have rats. They don't live here. They're just trying to ruin my life."
3)Darryl- "You just disappeared from jail?"
Paige- "No. I put pillows in the bed first. It always worked in my parents' house."
4)Paige- "We need a plan."
Piper- "Okay. Here it is: we go home, we vomit..."
Paige- "And?"
Piper- "That's all I got so far."
Paige- "Okay."
5)Paige- "Leo, we saw Phoebe and Cole, tongues locked, hands groping all over each other..."
(Paige shudders)
Leo- "Okay. Didn't need the visual."
6)Piper- "Okay, this just cannot be happening, people. I mean, Phoebe would not do this to us. I mean, it cannot cannot cannot be happening!"
Leo- "Okay, let's just try to calm down."
7)Leo- (about Phoebe) "Maybe there was some information that she wanted and she was using sex as a tool."
Piper- "Okay. I like the sound of that. Slutty and manipulative, that beats evil any day."
8)Kaia/Phoebe- "Oh. Uh...hi, Piper."
Piper- "Don't you 'hi, Piper' me. I saw you!"
Leo- "I thought you were gonna be calm."
Piper- "I am calm."
9)Piper- "Phoebe! I am pregnant, I am emotional and I am freaking out!"
10)Piper- "Does Cole have you under some kind of a spell?"
Kaia/Phoebe- "Maybe."
Piper- "Maybe is good. Because magic we can fight. Lust, desperation, insanity we cannot fight, but magic we can fight."
11)Kaia/Phoebe- "Or maybe I feel sick because I had to kiss Cole."
Piper- "Ah, that's my girl."
12)Piper- "Okay, I said something about hell and I rhymed it with Halliwell."
Paige- "How could you not keep a copy of the spell you used to take away our sister's powers?"
Piper- "It was a crappy spell, okay? So I left it in the house, all right? Forgive me for not anticipating the demonic foreclosure."
13)Piper- "Are you trying to help or are you just gonna ramble?"
Paige- "I'm just gonna ramble."
14)(Kaia morphs into her real self)
Phoebe- "Oh, you're blonde. I should have known."
*Centennial Charmed*
1) Leo - "Damn it Paige! I'd appreciate if you didn't practice on me! I may be dead, but it still hurts!"
2) Phoebe - "Ok, come on back on the ball"
Piper - "You get back on the ball, I quit!"
3) Piper - "Hospital people, how many times do I have to tell you crazy people? Hospital, I'm going to the hospital."
4) Piper - "What? I'm not a dolphin! I'm not giving birth to fish!"
Leo - "Well actually dolphins are not fish, they're mammals"
Piper - "Shut up!"
5) Paige - "Thanks I've been sneezing my head off all morning!"
Leo - "Not to mention the rest of you"
6) Phoebe - "We'll be right back!"
Piper - "We will? (Sees Paige) We will!"
Phoebe - "Leo, keep pouring."
7) Phoebe - "Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?"
Paige - "I'm going to Daryl's party?"
Piper - "The sneezing, Paige! The sneezing!"
8) Piper - "Pregnant lady coming through!"
9) Leo - "Shh Piper's hunting"
10) Piper - "I asked you a question"
Lazarus - "I don't know where Shax is"
Piper - "Wrong answer"
11) Lazarus - "Go to hell"
Piper - "I'm already there"
12) Paige - "Oh my God you're not pregnant anymore!"
13) Paige - "Ok what bizarre world have I sneezed my way into? You two are married and you're expecting. A magical child no less. And you, you're not La Femme Nikita. You're a charmed one. Yeah you don't mind kicking a** when you have to, but otherwise you would rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies or knitting booties."
Piper - "Knitting booties? Clearly you don't know me at all."
14) Leo - "I can't go to the manor anymore it's forbidden"
Paige - "What! Fine I'll do it myself but when I fix this you owe me"
15) Phoebe - "What's the matter? Not what you expected?"
Cole- "No, you look great really"
Phoebe - "Did you just give me a compliment?"
Cole - "You have no idea how happy I am to see you"
Phoebe - "What the hells the matter with you?"
16) Phoebe - "Leave me!"
17) Paige - "Phoebe. You don't recognize me. That's ok Piper didn't either."
Phoebe - "Piper? You know Piper? How is she?"
Paige - "She's uh different"
18) Phoebe - "Guards!"
19) Paige - "This reality sucks"
20) Paige - "Cole would've. He's the one behind this. He altered reality to eliminate me and get Phoebe back. But it's not working. She hates him as much in this reality as she does in ours."
21) Leo - "So uh, how can I help you get it back?"
Paige - " I need my sisters"
Piper - "Well maybe we can start with two and go from there."
22) Cole - "Let me get this straight. You work for me now. That right?"
23) Piper - "Well how pregnant am I exactly?"
Paige - "Phoebe and I are practicing to be your midwives as we speak. We're preparing for the big home birth."
Piper - "Home birth your nuts I'd never agree to that I wouldn't give birth unless it was in a hospital"
Paige - "Yeah, yeah you keep saying the same in any reality. Hey, who else but a sister would know that?"
Piper - "We must be pretty close then the three of us like Phoebe and I were with Prue"
Paige - "Yup, close enough to have avenged Prue's death together"
24) Piper - "Alright then, let's go hunting"
25) Cole - "You have no idea what I've given up for you"
Phoebe - "What? What about what I've given up Cole? I've given up my family, my heritage, my life!
26) Phoebe - "The only one getting anything out of this is you, and I have no idea what that is. The only reason I'm still here is to make sure that what happened to Prue does not happen to Piper, and you know it."
27) Cole - "What are you doing here?"
Piper - "Saving my sister"
28) Cole - "You?"
Paige - "Surprise"
29) Phoebe - "Piper"
30) Phoebe - "Paige was telling the truth?"
Cole - "I didn't go through all this to lose you Phoebe. If I'm going down you're going down with me"
31) Piper - "I'm impressed you really know this stuff"
Paige - "Of course I do, I learned from the best. I learned from you."
32) Piper - "Ready sis?"
33) Cole - "I don't know how you got here Paige. But if it's any consolation I know exactly where I'm going to bury you. Right next to yourself"
34) Phoebe - "The power of three"
Paige "That's us"
35) Cole - "We're meant to be together"
Phoebe - "I don't think so"
36) Piper - "Oh there you are. Where'd you orb to?"
Paige - "Piper! Are you pregnant?"
37) Phoebe - "Hey what's going on?"
Piper - "She's very happy"
Paige -"Phoebe!"
3 Phoebe - "What's the celebration?"
Paige - "I'm just, so happy to be home! That's all."
Piper - "You wanted to move out"
Paige - "I did? God no, never! Well you know maybe when I'm married, or pregnant, or hopefully both at the same time. We're sisters! We shouldn't split up till we absolutely have to! You know that right?"
Piper - "She's rambling"
Phoebe - "I hear that"
39) Paige - "I'm still here right?"
Piper - "Uh huh"
Paige - "I didn't go anywhere?"
Phoebe - "Nope, Paige, what did you do?"
40) Paige - "I'm telling you he's gone, for good."
Phoebe - "Yeah, that's what we thought last time"
Piper - "And the time before that"
41) Paige - "Happy birthday Cole"
*Obsessions*
1)Paige- "How do you like my outfit?"
Piper- "You look like you're not going to help clean up."
Paige- "You've got that right. I'm gonna go meet Glen. And besides, isn't everything just gonna get messed up again anyway?"
Piper- "Bite your tongue."
2)Witch Doctor- "You sure these are good witches that live here?"
Leo- "The best. Although one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry. Believe me."
Witch Doctor- "Is that a fact?"
Leo- "Well, not literally."
3)Paige- "He met some bimbette while climbing the Matterhorn."
Piper- "At Disneyland?"
Paige- "No, Switzerland."
4)Phoebe- "Woah. What happened here?"
Piper- "We've been healed!"
5)(Phoebe's busy making a potion) Phoebe- "This is gonna be fun. Feather. Feather. Where do we keep the feathers?"
(Piper walks into the kitchen)
Piper- "Oh my God! You've made a mess."
Phoebe- "Where are the feathers?"
Piper- "What do you want feathers for?"
Phoebe- "Killer potion for Spencer Ricks."
Piper- "Oh. Second cabinet under 'F'. I alphabetized. It's much more orderly."
Phoebe- "I see it. Perfect. Hey, what are those?"
Piper- "Slip covers to keep the furniture clean, although I've come to the conclusion that we should probably just stand from now on."
Phoebe- "Whatever. Okay."
(Phoebe tosses in a fiinal ingredient and potion explodes)
Phoebe- "Oh! Um, Piper, just so you know, I may have to flee the country, but just for a little while, and I will call you, okay?"
Piper- "Oh no, you don't, missy. There will no fleeing the country until you clean up after yourself."
Phoebe- "No, no, no. I'm sorry. I can't. I'm possessed."
Piper- "That is not an excuse!"
6)Spencer Ricks- "That's right! Feeble Halliwell."
7)Leo- "Piper, I need you to help me find Paige."
Piper- "I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room."
8)Paige- "Piper, listen to me, you can't just vanquish a house, especially not our house. People are gonna notice!"
9)Leo- "The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it. Fast."
Piper- "I'm not sure I can."
Paige- "Then you'd better make us make us disappear 'cause this one's gonna be tough to explain."
10)Piper- "Is that a wedding dress?"
Paige- "You just noticed?"
11)Witch Doctor- "It's only a matter of time before they destroy themselves."
Paige- "Talk about premature jubilation. You gentlemen might want to see a doctor about that."
12)(Paige and Piper unfold the centerfold of Phoebe)
Paige- "No retouching. Good times."
*Sand Francisco dreamin'*
1)Phoebe- "Have you seen anything weird?"
Paige- "Well, now that you mention it I have seen my share of a certain finger while driving here."
2)Paige- "Besides, everyone is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well."
3)Paige- (about the Sandman) "I can't believe that they exist...not that I should be surprised."
4)Piper- I mean, why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? They're harmless, erotic fun."
Paige- "Did you say 'erotic'?"
Piper- "Exotic. I said exotic."
5)Piper- "Where's my baby?"
Leo- "Over here."
(Leo stands up to reveal that he's now seven months pregnant)
Paige- "Oh my God."
Piper- "Oh my God..."
(Leo sees Ryder trying to nuzzle his wife's neck)
Leo- "Oh my God!"
(Phoebe screams in the attic)
Slappy- "Oh, that doesn't sound good."
6)Slappy- "Who's the clown?"
Phoebe- (about Ryder) "Who's the fox?"
Leo- "Good question."
Piper- "Don't ask."
Ryder- "I'm Piper's dream lover."
Piper- "No! Listen, listen! We've never slept together, I mean, in the dream world, place."
7)Leo- "Well, it doesn't take a shrink to figure out Piper's dreams. You wanna screw someone else."
Piper- "Well, at least he makes me feel sexy and not like some walking incubator, although I guess that's what you've been dreaming about."
8)Leo- "Okay, everybody know what they need to do?"
Paige- "Yep. I need to find out why I feel so empty."
Piper- "And I need to give into my desire and..."
Leo- "That's enough."
*The day the magic died*
1) Piper - "Oh please don't say growth. If this little thing gets any bigger I'll never be able to snap back"
Paige - "Hey is that a shiver? I think I detected a shiver. Lady you should go inside with that shiver"
Piper - "Shh! I'm fine. I'm feeling fine"
Phoebe - "You didn't look so fine when you were bent over the toilet puking your guts out today"
Piper - "Nausea, headache all a normal part of pregnancy. Along with gas, heartburn, a constant need to pee."
Phoebe - "Sounds fun"
2) Piper - "You would think the magical community could find maybe something else to give to the baby?"
Phoebe - "No thatıs the hot item this year"
Piper - "Clearly"
Paige - "Oh yeah I could definitely melt this down and make a fashionable ring"
3) Phoebe - "Yeah he does get very Darren Stevens about our whole magic thing."
Paige - "Yeah we should maybe have Leo ask what the elders what the policy is on magical gift returns."
4) Piper - "I'm gonna head up... or maybe down."
5) Doctor - "Do you deal with unusual stress in your life?"
Paige - "Very unusual"
6) Paige - "No stress and bed rest. Do you think you can you handle that?"
Piper - "Yeah I can handle that. I'll do anything."
Phoebe - "So will we"
7) Phoebe - "Yeah well we want Piper to feel like she's in a spa not some sewer"
8) Phoebe - "Welcome home honey! Or should I say your highness because from now on we are your royal subjects."
Paige - "We even turned your bedroom into a royal throne room"
Leo - "Let me take you there now my queen"
Piper - "Alright knock it off before I cut your heads off. I don't want any special treatment."
Phoebe - "Piper we love you. Let us love you"
9) Paige - "Oh my goodness itıs a unicorn"
Phoebe - "Yes it is in our kitchen. Is that another baby present? You think? Maybe?"
Paige - "Yeah the best one ever!"
10) Phoebe - "How are we gonna baby proof that horn?"
11) Phoebe - "I can't levitate. I'm grounded"
12) Paige - "Alright your Spanish. Andele"
13) Piper - "Don't treat me like a baby factory. I can sit myself down"
14) Piper - "This baby is not even out of the womb yet and I'm already screwing up as a mother"
15) Leo - "No! No magic no magic no magic! It's just too much stress on your body"
Piper - "Like that mess on the floor is not gonna stress me out?"
16) Phoebe - "Have you been experiencing uncontrollable emotional mood swings in the last week?"
Paige - "Am I that transparent?"
17) Piper - "Hmm like that spell would have worked"
18) Stanley - "My name will haunt you to your grave"
Phoebe - "What was his name again?"
Paige - "I don't remember."
Leo - "What's with the leftovers?"
19) Paige - "Weıre all out of hangers!"
20) Leo - "Ok, I put away the uni...cycle"
21) Phoebe - "Ok now that we've all met maybe the two lucky newlyweds should check into the hotel because it's really crazy here and then we'll call you"
Doris - "Oh no! We're not going anywhere!
Piper - "You're not?"
Doris - "No I used to volunteer at the hospital. We can stay and help take care of you."
Piper - "You can?"
Doris - "I look forward to some real mother daughter bonding."
Piper - "You do huh."
22) Phoebe - "Aw, poor little evil creatures!"
23) Paige - "Don't go getting all enchanted on us"
24) Paige - "Stand back! I think he's gonna break out in song!"
25) Paige - "Us? We're us. You're them. We don't help thems. Sorry"
26) Phoebe - "Cronyn huh? Since when do sorcerers have cell phones?"
Cronyn - "You think thatıs bad. I have a taxi waiting out front. Call me."
27) Paige - "Thatıs pure crappa. I don't want to help evil!"
2 Piper - "Hi! Phoebe come, sit, talk with us. Please!"
29) Phoebe - "Yeah but mines non-aerosol and it's a really big meeting so I need aerosol for that super firm hold you know?"
30) Phoebe - "Did you hear her? Gotta go to that meeting"
Piper - "Don't leave me!"
31) Paige - "Steel toed boots from my mosh pit days. Handcuffs, from last Friday"
32) Piper - "I may be stuck in bed but I'm not stuck on stupid"
33) Leo - "Ok, well it's really nothing to worry about. Magic is disappearing from the world and Phoebe and Paige went to have a summit meeting with evil so they can fix it. Nothing to worry about."
34) Piper - "I need Phoebe. And Paige. They trained so hard for this they should be here now."
35) Piper - "If you do anything to my baby I will kill you. I will hunt you and kill even if it means coming back from the dead and donıt think I wont find a way to do that."
36) Pheobe - "Step aside b***h!"
Paige - "Yeah thatıs our job"
37) Piper - "Honey if you love me you will send this crazy b*****d straight to hell!"
38) Leo - "What did I miss?"
Piper - "A lot!"
39) Piper - "Dad."
Victor - "Yeah honey" br>Piper - "I'm sorry about your demon wife!"
40) Phoebe - "Oh! I see a head of dark hair!"
Piper - "You do?"
Paige - "What'd you expect? A blonde?"
41) Phoebe - "Oh I see a shoulder, and another shoulder, and an arm, an arm, ooh! And something else!"
42) Paige - "Is that what I think it is?"
Phoebe - "If you're referring to mister winky between the legs, yes."
43) Paige - "It's a miracle"
*Baby's first demon*
1) Phoebe - "I could eat him up! I swear I could with a little ranch dressing."
Piper - "K, but let's not ok?"
2) Piper - "Well she knows a lot about breasts!"
3) Piper - "Son of a..."
4) Piper - "I'm having some severe separation anxiety issues."
5) Piper - "Magical goods? My baby is a magical good?"
6) Phoebe - "Work! Shmirk! I have baby pictures here, gather around people!"
7) Phoebe - "Hi have we met?"
Jason - "Jason Dean."
Phoebe - "Oh God!"
8) Phoebe - "Wow that's, thatıs some weird stuff because you're really young, young"
Jason - "Yeah"
Phoebe - "Yeah"
9) Phoebe - "Yeah well in all fairness superman can move faster than a speeding bullet so he's got a little leg up on the busting you know?"
10) Paige - "If you come after this baby you will die in the cruelest manner possible."
11) Phoebe - "Oh Jason Dean? I want to bear his children but that's besides the point."
12) Leo - "Look at the bright side, growing up with your sisters, he was bound to be neurotic anyway."
13) Piper - "I think its time we call Phoebe."
14) Paige - "See? No flame."
15) Jason - "Fine say no more. You like Chinese? Food not people."
16) Phoebe - "Look at that he's not even crying. You are so brave. You're like a little brave soldier."
17) Piper - "But we've gone up against invisible demons before. You know demons that morph into lamps, lamps that morph into demons, demons in the walls."
1 Phoebe - "Oh look at him he's smiling! Oh you are so brave!"
Leo - "He's smiling?"
Phoebe - "Either that or he has gas."
19) Phoebe - "He's just trying to get attention, he's a genius!"
20) Piper - "You're going to give mommy a heart attack, is that what you're trying to do?"
21) Piper - "It's just so hard to leave It's so hard to make Phoebe leave."
22) Piper - "You take care of him. I mean one hair out of place on the head, you and me, issues."
23) Demon - "Who are you?"
Piper - "I'm the mother"
24) Piper - "Which one of you dirt bags put bounty on my baby?"
25) Piper - "He got away!"
Phoebe - "It's ok let him go"
Piper - "I said no prisoners"
26) Phoebe - "Way to send a message warrior mom!"
27) Phoebe - "Oh I could eat you! Yes I could! Yes I could!"
Piper - "Pheebs after the demonic parasites did actually kind of want to eat him not so cute."
Phoebe - "Gotcha. Oo I could smush you, oh I could just smush that little face."
Piper - "Much better."
2 Piper - "Oh don't be sorry Paige, you were brave, and you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby, which is why I would like the give the baby the middle name of Matthew, in honor of his super protective aunt Paige."
Phoebe - "I think that's a great idea."
Piper - "What do you think?"
Leo - "Yeah"
Paige - "Thanks."
Piper - "And I also had an idea for his first name. Wyatt. In honor of his very protective daddy."
29) Jason - "Huh, I didn't figure you for the type to apologize easily."
Phoebe - "Yeah, I'm not, I only apologize when I'm wrong. Ok I wasn't entirely wrong there was an emergency at home and I did need to leave and in the future if you're going to hold my calls I hope you tell me."
Jason - "This is an apology?"
30) Jason - "I knew less about my last girlfriends family then I learned about yours in the last five minutes."
Phoebe - "Oh really?"
Jason - "Still talking."
*Lucky Charmed*
1)Piper- "Look, I know I didn't call to confirm, but I was busy creating life, okay?"
2)Piper- (about Phoebe) "My sister the demon magnet."
3)Piper- "Frickin' ever-useless Elders."
4)Paige- "Hi."
Piper- "Ah, perfect timing. We were just chatting. Anything you need to talk about?"
Paige- "No, I'm good."
5)Phoebe- "It's just research for that stupid article Jason made me do."
Piper- "Ah, you said his name without swearing. Does that mean things are going better at work?"
Phoebe- "Oh, no. He's still driving me crazy."
Piper- "Didn't he just give you a raise?"
Phoebe- "Yeah, but that was just a bribe so I wouldn't quit."
Piper- "Ah, a woman of principles. I admire that."
6)Paige- "My sweater shrunk."
Piper- "Ah, come on. You've worn tighter things than that."
7)Piper- "Do I need to remind you of the big boob fiasco?"
Paige- "No, my back still hurts."
8)Phoebe- (answering the door) "Who's it gonna be? George Clooney? Justin Timberlake?"
9)Leo- (about the baby) "Well, I'll take him to Uncle Elders. He'll be safe there."
Phoebe-"Did they ask you not to do that?"
Leo- "Yeah, but...screw 'em."
10)Head Councilman- "Doesn't matter what brings a person, only what they leave with."
*Cat house*
1) Paige - "Dan was a warlock?"
Phoebe - "Oh no before Dan, way before Dan. Two bankers, a rock climber, and a ghost before Dan. And actually the ghost was the best of the bunch"
Paige - "See now thatıs what I call critical sisterly information. How am I supposed to be petty and judgmental without all the info?"
Phoebe - "Yeah but sweetie what do you expect you didn't know her back then. That doesn't mean your any less apart of us though, you know that right?"
2) Phoebe - "But uh you know, I'm still living at home, I'm still single. The only real difference is that I'm 5 years older, I have to use more expensive night cream."
3) Past Phoebe - "My Santa you've changed."
Past Piper - "He's looking for kit."
Past Phoebe - "The cat, right, 4 legs, fur. I remember."
4) Past Phoebe - "Oh thatıs just Piper. She's got to be everyone's mom. Think of her as your mom, I know I do."
Past Piper - "Isn't she a scream?"
5) Past Phoebe - "Ooh quite possibly the finest glutes in the city."
Past Piper - "In the state"
Past Phoebe - "In all the land"
Past Piper - "Saw him first"
Past Phoebe - "Uh uh"
Past Piper - "Uh huh"
6) Paige - "Ew! You hit on Leo!"
7) Past Piper - "I'm telling you he's not your type, he's nice."
Past Phoebe - "Oh, oh really? And I don't like nice?"
Past Piper - "No Phoebe you don't. You like dangerous, you like bad boys and you always have."
Paige - "Some things never change."
Phoebe - "Would you be quiet!"
Piper - "Oh well you know it just seems like yesterday, to us."
Leo - "Except that yesterday Piper almost blew up the house. Figuratively speaking."
9) Past Phoebe - "Why don't you just shatter her hand and see what happens."
Phoebe - "I was under a spell. Evil."
Paige - "Evil? You were a blonde!"
10) Past Piper - "Smash him! b*****d."
11) Doctor - "I'm, I'm sorry um when you say she shattered you I assume that's..."
Piper - "Metaphorically speaking."
12) Phoebe - "What? You said you wanted to know what we were like before we met you right? Voila."
13) Past Piper - "What the hell is going on!?"
Past Phoebe - "Prue! Get your astral a** back here!"
14) Past Phoebe - "Piper you can't just leave."
Past Piper - "Yes I can. A demon I could've handled, but my big sister ruining my wedding? I can not handle that!"
15) Paige - "Didn't he just change history?"
16) Phoebe - "Paige!"
Paige - "What? Potions go poof thatıs what they do."
17) Phoebe - "wait a minute you just said something."
Paige - "I did? Was it smart?"
1 Piper - "Hah! Co-dependent. Thank you."
19) Past Piper - "Hi Cujo, who you growlin at?"
20) Piper - "Don't ask, next memory"
21) Katrina - "I had to keep my nails sharp."
Piper - "Yeah see that's just creepy"
*Nymphs just wanna have fun*
1) Paige - "Oh! Gosh what's that smell, I hope its not breakfast."
Piper - "I'm making an herbal sleep remedy."
Paige - "Remind me to never get insomnia"
2) Paige - "Cute!"
Piper - "Cute is a sleeping baby."
3) Phoebe - "I slept with my boss"
Piper - "Jason?"
Phoebe - "No Elise. Yes! of course Jason."
4) Piper - "How did this happen?"
Phoebe - "It was very fast"
Paige - "Oh, downer"
5) Paige - "Can we go back to the whole, eaghh, part?"
6) Paige and Piper - "I'll get right on it."
Paige - "You're tired honey"
Piper - "I am, I'll also be in the attic."
7) Phoebe - "Paige will you orb to the office and grab me a laptop, I have to finish this article and I don't want to see Jason."
Paige- "I'm sorry, I really can't!"
Piper - "Hey! That's cheating!"
9) Piper - "I got your busy right here lady"
10) Daisy - "Who's the sexy beast?"
Piper - "The Beast is married to me"
11) Piper - "We need Phoebe"
Phoebe - "Hello anybody home?"
Piper - "Ask and you shall receive."
12) Paige - "But on the plus side, you got some really pretty flowers."
Phoebe - "Yeah see I don't want to talk about that! Tell me about the demon."
Paige - "Well Piper let him get away."
Piper - "Oh come on I blew off his hand didn't I?"
Paige - "Yes but the rest of him got away."
Piper - "Yeah well ok demons don't always go poof when you want them to you know?"
13) Paige - "Vanquishing demons is not a sport Piper"
Piper - "It is if you're good at it"
14) Piper - "Demons and warlocks are red! Beings of light are white! Oh yeah? Well what's a Bunyip because it's not good or evil? So what the hell color is that? Oh well thatıs confusing."
15) Leo - "Everything alright?"
Piper - "Yeah, sure, fine, if you call Paige defacing the Book of Shadows alright."
Leo - "She defaced the book?"
Piper - "For all intensive purposes. Look at this, this is a sacred book! It looks ridiculous!"
Leo - "Well look, these things just come right off. See?"
Piper - "That is so not the point!"
16) Piper - "Ok just so you know for future reference, you're supposed to be on my side in these situations."
17) Miranda - "Love, its in there air!"
Paige - "Ha not where I'm standing it isn't"
1 Phoebe - "Oh my God! Paige!"
19) Piper - "Oh good so this is all your fault then?"
Phoebe - "Ahuh"
Piper - "Perfect."
20) Piper - "Oh the cats out of the bag"
21) Paige - "You don't need me"
Piper - "The hell I donıt!"
22) Phoebe - "Oh are we back to blaming you again?"
Piper - "Yeah"
Phoebe - "Just checking."
23) Piper - "Maybe its time we start thinking out side the box."
Phoebe - "Come again?"
Piper - "It was Paige's theory and it worked pretty damn well for her."
24) Exavier - "You!"
Piper - "Hi! No offense but we were looking for some wood nymphs"
Phoebe - "What you two know each other?"
Piper - "Yeah I was the one that blew off his arm. Wow that looks like it hurts."
25) Piper - "You know we can just keep doing this but he's never going to talk and then he's just going to try and fry us, we're going to have to dive out of the way, get all dirty, and we're just end up vanquishing him anyway."
Phoebe - "So should we just cut to the chase?"
26) Piper - "Told you!"
27) Thal - "Exavier? Exavier where are you?"
Phoebe - "You're stepping on him"
2 Piper - "Paige calls that a potion?"
29) Phoebe - "If we kill him then how are we going to find Paige?"
Piper - "What have you witnessed in the last few minutes that leads you to believe we're going to kill him?"
30) Piper - "Arrogant!"
31) Paige - "Yeah I'll be alright if you tell me you got that b*****d. Oh, I guess you didnıt"
32) Phoebe - "Piper do you have any idea what they're talking about?"
Piper - "I think so?"
Phoebe - "Good"
33) Phoebe - "Ouch, that had to hurt"
34) Phoebe - "You know you two make a great one two punch?"
Paige - "Yeah well who's number one?"
Piper - "Ah, we'll talk about that later."
35) Paige - "You never know I may just have to give him a little somethin' somethin'"
36) Piper - "Paige and I have decided to share the responsibilities of head witch so that I can spend more time with Wyatt and she can"
Paige - "Rock on"
37) Leo - "Rock on"
Piper - "Don't do that"
Leo - "Rock on"
Piper - "Give it up man, give it up"
*Sense and sense ability*
1) Leo - "Hey Nate, buddy, how you doing?"
Nate - "Good, good, I didn't here you come in."
Piper - "Yeah how bout that? Kind of like magic."
2) Piper - "I bore him"
3) Phoebe - "I don't care if the south thinks my column is too edgy ok? I think the south could use a little edge."
4) Piper - "If he keeps growing at this rate we're going to have to send him off to college by next week."
5) Piper - "Ok well what about this maternal bond I hear so much about?"
6) Piper - "Is everything ok?"
Paige - "Better than ok, I am going to have a love life."
Phoebe - "You're making a love potion?"
Paige - "No I'm making a stun potion."
Piper - "So that lovers will be stunned by you?"
Paige - "No so Kazis will be stunned by me."
Phoebe - "You're in love with a Kazi demon?"
Paige - "Try to stay with me people. I am making a stun potion so that I can maybe have a date that doesn't end with 'Nate you got to leave I have to clean some demon guts off the ceiling'"
Phoebe - "Nate, much cuter than a Kazi demon."
7) Piper - "But I so enjoy killing them."
8) Paige - "Ok the finishing sentence thing? Not cute."
Phoebe - "We're just trying to tell you itıs a good plan. An oldie, but a goodie."
9) Piper - "Do you really want to miss Wyatt's first street fair? He doesn't have a lot of firsts left you know."
Paige - "Yes he does. He has his first date, first bad grade, first backfired spell. Many, many firsts."
Phoebe - "I'll bring my cell phone."
10) Paige - "Yeah, everyone hates Mimes. You do know that don't you?"
11) Phoebe - "Do you think I'm happy about this? There are many things I've been in my life, a workaholic is not one of them."
Paige - "If you're not happy with it, why are you doing it?"
Phoebe - "Who says I'm not happy?"
Leo - "You just did."
Phoebe - "Oh."
Piper - "I blame your very handsome, but very pushy, boyfriend."
12) Richard - "Congratulations Phoebe. I Lo-huh-huv your column"
13) Richard - "I think you're beautiful. Stylish, approachable. Thatıs why I don't want to alter your look too much."
Phoebe - "Author a book! Wow, I don't know if I'm ready for that!"
14) Richard - "I'm sorry, sometimes I mumble. I said your look, not your book."
Phoebe - "Oh right, the hook."
At this part of the episode Piper is blind, Phoebe is deaf, and Paige has no voice. Phoebe screams everything she says.
15) Phoebe - "Paige! Piper! If you're here I need you to come out in the open and like flag me down or something!"
16) Phoebe - "I lost my hearing during the biggest meeting of my life I can't hear a thing!"
Paige -(Motions for phoebe to be more quiet)
Phoebe - "What! I can't hear you!"
17) Paige - (Starts to act like a monkey)
Phoebe - "What are you doing? Oh I get it! I get it! Charades, ok, yeah, yeah. You're a monkey, yeah ok you're a monkey."
Paige - (Acts like a monster)
Phoebe - "Ooh, you're an angry monkey. Oh you're pissed. You're PMS monkey?"
18) Phoebe - "You hear something?"
Paige - (Makes the motion of talking with her hands)
Phoebe - "You hear puppets?"
19) Phoebe - "Piper!"
Piper - "I'm so glad you're here I can't see a thing! And I wrapped my car around a pole and..."
Phoebe - "Piper!"
Piper - "I know it sounds crazy but I think it has something to do with the mangy monkey."
Phoebe - "Piper!"
Piper - "Where are you? Ow! Who put that there?"
Phoebe - "Oh my God! Piper you're blind!"
Piper - "Yeah! Phoebe I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?"
Phoebe - "What did she say?"
Piper - "What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn't say anything. He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight."
Paige - (Writes the word "How?" on a piece of paper.)
Phoebe - "I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes!"
Piper - "Ugh! Phoebe! Are you listening to me? Thatıs just what I said you are acting like you can't even hear me!"
Phoebe - "Oh Piper it's no use, I can't even hear you! The monkey stole my hearing"
Piper - "Oh he got you too! Which means somebody sent that flea infested primate after us. We've got to find Paige."
Paige - (Claps to show she's there)
Piper - "Why are you clapping? This is not funny."
Phoebe - "What's the matter Paige?"
Piper - "Paige? Where's Paige?"
20) Leo - "I see."
Piper - "Well I don't, where is Paige!"
21) Piper - "Read my lips! Is there anything in hear that will get our senses back?"
Phoebe - "Piper I can't hear you!"
22) Paige - (Holds up paper that says "Kill Monkey")
Phoebe - "Paige is proposing violence against the monkey."
Piper - "Well I'm inclined to agree but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries"
Phoebe - "Yeah I didn't hear what you just but if you're wondering whose behind this I was about to look in to book."
23) Piper - "What is going on over there?"
Phoebe - "Kazi demon, three o'clock twelve o'clock!"
24) Phoebe - "You killed Aunt Pearl's couch!"
Piper - "Did I get the Kazi?"
Phoebe - "I can't hear you."
25) Phoebe - "Ok I didn't do that. Someone else did that. I did not do that."
26) Piper - "Hands off hag!"
Senses are back to normal
27) Paige - "Can I just say"
Phoebe - "What?"
Paige - "Anything. Damn its good to hear me speak."
*Necromancing the stone*
1) Piper - "Sleeze away."
Paige - "Yeah well at least I get some."
Piper - "Yeah, yeah"
2) Nate - "I know what you're doing."
Paige - "You do?"
Nate - "Yeah you smoke."
3) Phoebe - "Ok so we have Wood (miz?) Which is kind of natural and earthy, or Rouge sensation which definitely has that, more of that va va va voom feel."
4) Phoebe - "You are so cute, yes you are, your grandmother is just going to eat you up when she meets you But no spitting up and none of that um that toxic poop that you like to do because she hasn't been around babies since she was alive."
5) Paige - "International booty call, most impressive"
6) Phoebe - "I was not mopey"
Paige - "You are too mopey."
7) Phoebe - "You could be on the cover of GQ you're so handsome."
8) Piper - "Hello to you too Grams."
9) Grams - "Wyatt? Thatıs a silly name for a girl isn't it?"
Phoebe - "Grams, itıs a boy, look at the outfit."
10) Grams - "What went wrong?"
Leo - "Wrong?"
Grams - "Well I don't mean wrong wrong"
11) Grams - "They'd be better off with a dog. They're more loyal and they die sooner."
Leo - "Excuse me?"
12) Leo - "Now you know why we don't summon her more often."
13) Piper - "So what do you suggest? That I go to the video store and you get cooking?"
14) Piper - "Don't! I don't want to hear about a dead demon doing the dirty."
15) Grams - "I told you she should have gotten a dog"
16) Phoebe - "Twimjee? Thatıs Chinese for excuse me"
17) Piper - "Ok lets not jump on Grams' male bashing band wagon please?"
1 Paige - "He's not my boyfriend he's my Ex boyfriend"
19) Nate - "Listen to the donut hog"
20) Piper - "You're grandmother hates her grandson! That's what's going on here"
21) Piper - "Paige there will be no talk of testicle orbing around the child!"
22) Phoebe - "Oh my God! That's why she's so obsessed with him. Grams was the Necromancer's lover."
Paige - "Thatıs disgusting!"
23) Piper - "Grams was alive when she vanished the Necromancer right?"
Phoebe - "Right"
Piper - "So now she's dead!"
Paige - "You sound so happy about that."
24) Phoebe - "How do you guys feel about intercontinental orbing"
Piper - "We'll talk about that later."
25) Piper - "Grams tell him how you really feel about him. Tell him the truth."
Grams - "I love you"
Paige - "Any other bright ideas?"
26) Paige - "You know I thought you'd have a problem with magic, I didn't think you'd be a problem on a basic human level."
*Oh my goddess Part 1*
1) Phoebe - "My boyfriend moved to Hong Kong and I'm thoroughly depressed but I still managed to sign up 6 people. And you have?"
Paige - "I have none people."
Phoebe - "None people"
2) Phoebe - "For the love that is everything good and pure why have we never bothered to get air-conditioning?"
3) Phoebe - "You're going to through that glass at me aren't you?"
4) Phoebe - "Who are you and what have you done to my sister?"
Piper - "What I can't be in a good mood?"
Phoebe - "No Mary Poppins wouldn't be in a good mood in this kind of heat."
5) Piper - "And Leo and I are finally"
Phoebe - "Back in the saddle."
Piper - "So to speak."
Phoebe - "Oh God I miss sex"
6) Phoebe - "Good morning sunshine!"
Paige - "Oh save the quips and pass the caffeine. I have work to do."
Piper - "What are you gonna do scry for Mother Nature and have a Wiccan word with her?"
Paige - "Ok you're way to perky alright? And you're frightening me, I'm just saying."
7) Piper - "Uh oh you're not getting like a God complex or something are you because you know they've got like medication for that."
8) Piper - "Magical!"
Paige - "Yeah, for lack of a better term."
9) Leo - "You call that magic?"
10) Piper - "Ok then I need to express to you that this is going to make me feel a little abandoned."
Leo - "Alright well I understand, I acknowledge your feelings and I want to let you know that I love you, even though I have to go"
11) Piper - "I think I hate the tools. I'd rather just snipe later than be open and honest about my feelings now."
12) Leo - "Piper I have to go."
Piper - "Fine, go. I mean thank you for considering my feelings and I love you and I will see you later at home."
13) Phoebe - "I am all over him! I mean it!"
14) Phoebe - "Oh Elise you brazen hussy."
15) Phoebe - "Oh my God."
Elise - "What? What is it?"
Phoebe - "Nothing, hold that thought."
Elise - "What thought?"
16) Phoebe - "Ok there is a reason nobody lives in this part of the world and it is because they all died from the cold."
Paige - "I thought you said you wanted air-conditioning."
17) Paige - "Scorch marks, maybe you can get a premonition."
Phoebe - "I don't have my gloves!"
18) Paige - "You see anything?"
Phoebe - "Yeah frostbite."
19) Paige - "An earthquake! Did I call it or what?"
Phoebe - "Did I mention this sucks?"
20) Piper - "Ok I know it's cooled off a little since this morning but what are you doing?"
Phoebe - "Defrosting"
21) Piper - "Thatıs good answer because I donıt think there's enough tools in the box to handle being stood up at the shrink."
22) Leo - "I acknowledge that this is very difficult for you."
Piper - "You know what screw that! Damn it! I'm just scared."
23) Phoebe - "Ok Devil's advocated, until we figure out how powerful they are we shouldn't use you as bait."
Paige - "Witch's advocated there are evil Gods running around on the loose that we should eliminate before Wyatt gets home."
24) Phoebe - "Thatıs dirty. Why do I feel like you're making me choose between my sister and my nephew."
Paige - "Because you're slightly over dramatic."
25) Piper - "Oh my God! Tell me thatıs just a really good likeness of Paige."
26) Piper - "Friend or foe?"
Phoebe - "Not so sure yet!"
27) Piper - "Come on, come on, prance this way! Here we go. Here we go. Move it! Move it, move it today!"
Dwarf - "Hey quick manhandling us, we're not your pets."
Piper - "No you're just a pain, now go on."
2 Phoebe - "Whoa, check out the size of that oracles bulb."
29) Piper - "I'm going to see what future boy is up to."
30) Piper - "Hang on a second I'm having a 9th grade flash back"
31) Chris - "I really don't know."
Piper - "Well I really think you do."
32) Piper - "I swear to God if he does not come back with Leo I'm going to blow his a** to the future orbs and all."
33) Phoebe - "You're not breathing."
Piper - "Nope"
Phoebe - "Breathe"
34) Phoebe - "Look whose not stoned."
35) Paige - "I canıt help but think its kind of all my fault though, I mean, I'm the ones that lured the Titans here. Insert I told you so."
Phoebe -"Done"
36) Paige - "Power! Powers good. I like power. Why do I like power?"
Chris - "Because you are the goddess of war."
Paige - "Ah well I guess that explains the pitchfork."
Chris - "Its not a pitchfork itıs a triton"
37) Phoebe - "I'm a lover not a fighter."
3 Piper - "Naturally. Well then that must make me the Goddess of sanity because I find this ridiculous."
39) Phoebe - "Can't we figure something else to cut off?"
40) Phoebe - "Paige make love, not you know. There's no door love can't open, no wall love can't climb, no hurdle love can't hurdle."
41) Phoebe - "I'm gonna go pick up a guy or two, or twelve."
*Oh my goddess Part 2*
1) Paige - "Ok on your knees. Kiss the hand of the Paige."
2) Phoebe - "Thank you bachelor number 3"
3) Paige - "Are you eyeing me soldier?"
4) Chris - "What the hell is this? Goddesses gone wild?"
5) Piper - "The ancient Greeks indulged in their whims that way and look what they became"
Chris - "Petty, evil, vindictive."
Piper - "Thanks, I've got it."
6) Phoebe - "Love will keep us together."
7) Piper - "Fascinating."
8) Piper - "Leo can jingle?"
9) Titan - "Who are you?"
Paige - "The Supremes."
10) Piper - "Everybody ok?"
Phoebe - "No, is my hair singed"
11) Phoebe - "Have you taken a vow of selibacy?"
12) Elder - "I'm one of the elders who always sold Leo short, for marrying a witch and all. No offense."
Piper - "Offense taken."
13) Phoebe - "One more question. What are you wearing under that robe?"
Elder - "More robes"
Phoebe - "So Hot"
14) Paige - "A warrior preparing for battle can not be weary!"
15) Phoebe - "Piper I'm sensing a blockage in your spiritual energy. What's wrong sweetie?"
16) Piper - "Don't you jingle me! I need more than a jingle here mister!"
17) Paige - "Are you trying to alert the enemy?"
18) Piper - "Leo I was speaking from the heart not the hearth. Hi! I'm your wife, remember?"
19) Phoebe - "Oh see I can just feel the confidence wash all over me. He's doing it."
20) Piper - "Its not nice to piss off mother nature."
21) Phoebe - "Did he just bail on us? Is that what he did?"
Paige - "Uh what about you know? Helping us find his wife!"
22) Piper - "You can't make me forget you."
 marshjazz · Wed Jun 22, 2005 @ 11:49pm · 0 Comments |
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