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They who want to know me, grow to know me, they who want to hate me, grow to hate me, they who grow to love me, grow to break my ******** heart.

	She called... And I cried happy tears...
	She called... And I cried happy tears...

For awhile now, I awaited this moment. My one Love called... Only because I was having a mental breakdown from the anxiety of everything. Life for me is deemed to be s**t, and hearing her voice only made that moment seem free from all burdens and all baggage. My goal is to change more about myself for her to see who I truly am, and what I truly turned into, someone that is willing to learn from mistakes, and take them to heart to try to never make them again. I am seeking help, and I am going to get it with abundance. I have learned my lesson and paid my dues to the reaper so many times before, but he awaits me still, hiding behind every dark shadow. What awaits me in the future? Is my life going to continue to be s**t? I may never know, and do not want it to be a sad time for me. But when s**t happens to me, it happens. When it rains it pours, as they say. Sigh...

What possible means do I have to go back without being who I was. I told her that I still needed time. That I still loved her. She changed me for the better, and changed my being as a whole. I miss her deeply. She said that she would call me back tonight. I hope to hear from you soon, Love. She is Love and take her as she is, or just throw away everything that is pure in this world.

Rambling on like a lunatic, I want to be set free from all this. I am afraid that she is going to be hurt in the process, but that is another thing that I don’t want to happen. What goals should I make now? For myself? For our future? For my future? For the past that seems to plague my mind with riddles. What more could I do? What more can I say...

My Love Is To Hate · Tue Sep 04, 2007 @ 06:45pm · 0 Comments


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