First off to learn a little more about me and understand me u must know where i have come from....although i realize that u will probably never read this but my hopes are that you will..
When i was young i was put into an abusive childhood....we were at one time rich because my father owned his own business...but he was cheating on my mother with various women..he used to hit us and knock out my mothers teeth....he used to chock slam my brothers throgh tables and windows...my brother, josh actually broke his leg and my father cut the cast off before the alotted time and said deal with it be a grown man...he also did this to my other brother matthew, who had broken his thumb...he used ot scream at me for dropping things and spiling drinks...when i was really young he hada 9mm gun and would shoot at us and said dodge it if you would wish to live..he would do many other horrible things that i do not wish to disguse if u want to know u can ask me privately....
he would not leave us until we started going into poverty.....he had to live in a car, a hotel, and at my grandparents...while my dad began doing drugs to surpress his anger..we had no where to go until we moved to hickory and my brother josh stood up to him after along time of sufferage and punched him in the face and said ******** you..my father left...he even missed my birthday to get married to a prostitute that had sex with random people for drugs...he was in love with the strippers..i have a half sister from one of them.
i never new a father unless it was my grandfather i remember prayign to god to not let him die i wanted him to walk me up the aisle when i got married..but my grandfather joe, had lost both his legs to diabetes and he soon died along with my grandmother...my dad kept taking money from us my mother would not tell him no out of fear of killing us...so my mother and two brothers lived in poverty still because that wraith...until we moved again adn we left him behind...
we had our own lives....i did not speak to tommy ( my father ) no one did until he found us again and we threatened him this time....he got married again and tortured her but did not hit her because we swore to him if he ever hit another women he would have my brothers to deal with and if you do not know me u would not realize that my brothers are huge as houses.....josh is a green belt in shotokan and squats 1500lbs. and is the fastest drumber in n.c and is in the guiness book of world records for the fastest double bass drumb. my other brother matthew benches 600 or dead lifts rather....he can fix just about anything...my brothers and mother are my life...my mother is a strong person she always figures a way to feed us with just $5 a full course meal.....
my life was going pretty good i was 4th in my class i was in love everything no father to worry about we had no money but i am not a material person....until last year over christmas my fiance died i realized something really fast the world hates us all and and we are all judged by those who do not know us adn love is just a figment of the imagination society puts in our heads because they beleave this world peace s**t will someday happen but will not unless we love....every person si greedy and hatred incarnate we just hide it behind this flesh of skin adn cling on to those we think we love because we can not stand to be unsocoial....i did love corey, i did, until i figured out why do we love and came up with these stupid answers and now i do not beileive in real love in anyoen who does is just as pathetic as my father.i have grown to understand as such along with many other things...but it does not matter because sooner or later we will all die.
of course i beleive that we are sent back in each lifetime to obrain taht we did not understand in the lifetime beforehand.. when we are alive it is like going through all the colours of martial arts in belts,,,,when we die is just like geting your black belt that is when the true training begins...
yes i stupid shotokan martial arts...i have been doing it for 4 years....i read a lot adn write a lot....i beleive knowledge is the best thing obtainable...adn those who take it for grantide are ******** pathetic.....
this is just an over view of my life..just the small details to show an outline of where i have been and where i want ot go.
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Thu Jul 12, 2007 @ 07:21pm · 1 Comments |
