She held her own life in her hands as if it were an apple,
They stared at her
Sad and hoping
She glanced
All seven looked helpless
As she looked in their eyes she started to cry
She couldn't take it any longer
If i wake before i die,
I was meant to live
And she bit into the apple
They stared at her
Sad and hoping
She glanced
All seven looked helpless
As she looked in their eyes she started to cry
She couldn't take it any longer
If i wake before i die,
I was meant to live
And she bit into the apple
Community Member
jsyk : You wrote 'helf'... might want to change that.
Lines 2-5 need some rearranging. I read 'They stared at her' I think she's alredy looking at them. Slight confusion.
"She couldn't take it any longer." No. Change. Now.
Again I say - Very cool, dude. ^^