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Vulpes Vendetta
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Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 @ 03:27am

2 comments


	Poem::.:: False Hope Awakened from sleep, Time ticking away, Only a dream, The pain was real, The depressed pain, Overwhelming and dreadful, Loneliness echoing through your thoughts, You try shaking it away, The dark thoughts distracting, Unable to think, Roaring louder and louder, You just want it to stop, Reach for the blade, Cutting lightly into flesh, The pain ceasing, The crimson trickling down, Tempted by thoughts, Blade slipping deeper, Body cold and trembling, Eyes slightly foggy, Zombie like body collapsed to the floor, Eyes fly open, Heart beating rapidly, All a dream, Bloodstained bandaged wrists, Showing old false hopes and beliefs, Never to be forgotten

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[img:2bc5b2adf5]http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii261/naru_fox/LaVolpeDio-H1.png[/img:2bc5b2adf5]

User Comments: [2]

slendybaby
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Commented on: Sat Jun 23, 2007 @ 04:03pm


	3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding It's good

Commented on: Mon Oct 01, 2007 @ 05:23am


	It's certainly interesting. Different than your other poems. I like the third, fourth, and last stanza. Overall it's nice. ^^ Holy s**t. I want to kill the word 'doom', no offense. Create an imaginative way to show that feeling w/o using cliches. "The depressed pain Numb and hurting." Well, duh you're hurting if you're depressed. Redundant. You use the word 'numb' too many times, Love. Different word for 'red.' And I'm sure there are different words that mean the same as 'zombie-like.'

Shigatsu Suno
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User Comments: [2]

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