So...back from yesterday. Can't even remember what i wanted to put here...so i guess that i'll tell you about the graduation and the after party.
It was great...first time anyone saw me in a dress XP (Yeah im one of those girls who don't bother too much with what i wear, and ill only wear dresses for special occasions.) We came in to the music played by the younger kids, sat, heard a couple of inspirational speaches (yes they were inspirational.), went up on stage to get a yellow rose and the certificate (and a fortune cookie), then we were officaialy graduates.
Then we went outside for the after party/refreshment half of the graduation, where i was overly sentimental and constantly wanting to cry cry , and constantly regretting what i never did. But those regretts will fade, cause i know that i'll make up for them with something that i'll be glad for, and happy that i did things how i did do them.
I took a lot of pictures of people. Never with...I kinda regret that, but it's okay cause i'd probably be sadder when i look back at thoses photos if I was there smiling with all of my friends, and then realizing that i wont see a lot of them anymore becuase weve all move on, taking different paths. Like the poem the road not take by Robert Frost. I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
The other thing is that the photos capture only one moment. Just one moment in a life time. Same with memories and videos. I don't want to live for the moment, or with the past moments. I wanna live with the people who were part of the moments so we can share have more moments, and more memories.
I've always watched them from behind, not really following, but I was just scared or shy about tieing them down or putting them on the spot light. I'll keep in touch cause were friends, but I'll do that with everyone. I sometimes wish we were more than that.
And last night, all i could think about was them. No one else, and nothing else. All I could think about whs how much imma miss them, how i felt about them, all the times i shared with them, everything we did for eachother, the things they did, their smile, their voice, their laugh, their faces...everything about them. I couldn't sleep for a little while cause i kept remembering them, and this morning i woke up to an image of their faces. Pathetic, huh?
There's so much more i wanna say, so many more things i feel, I just can't express it in words. I'm real happy, but i can't help but wanna cry sad tears. I'm excaited for a new chapeter, but im scared about everything. I'm hella confused, and hella lost...
I probably sound like a naive kid who thinks that i can have everything, but the fact that i realize this, the fact that i know i cant have it, the fact that i know that we all have to move on, and that moving on will pain me and everyone else, that is what makes me not the naive kid you think i am. I'm just a kid who has hopes and dreams.
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