• Mr. Crow and The Raven; a miscellaneous dialogue.

    ((This can be performed for two people, or one person. If one person performs, then the person should do something to indicate when they change roles. The wearing of a hat, or moving from sitting to standing, or even changing pitch will help to differentiate. Most stage direction is written for two people))

    Characters:
    The Raven (Female)
    Mr. Crow (Male)

    (Two people sit facing each other. If it's one person, have them sit starring at an empty seat. For one person, try and have a special distinction, a hat being best, to show that the person is male)

    Mr. Crow: (Starring off at the person, not seeming to really be looking at them. He his hunched forward, hands pressed lightly together He started to speak his voice is very dull, but observant) You hate me, don't you?

    The Raven: (Rolls eyes and sprawls back over the chair she sits in, arm over the back, and legs crossed at the knee. She gives a disdainful look to the man, letting silence stretch out between them) You're so vain Crow. You really think that I spend most of my day thinking of you.

    Mr. Crow: (Chuckles and leans back, taking a similar fashion as The Raven, but more refined.) That's not what I asked you Raven. You know that's not what I asked... so do you want to answer my actual question?

    The Raven: (Scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest) No

    Mr. Crow: (Leans forward, but only some, still in the same basic pose as before. He seems intrigued) Why is that lady?

    The Raven: Because it's a stupid question.

    Mr. Crow: (leans back again and just laughs for a bit.) Truly you are the master of winning arguments. But seriously, why do you hate me?

    The Raven: (splutters a bit and glares at Mr. Crow) You're a persistent little-

    Mr. Crow: (Smiles politely, and cuts in) Yes, I am, but then you already knew that. Now, to the point, why aren't you admitting that you hate me?

    The Raven: (Starts to speak with increasing agitation in her voice) Rephrasing the question isn't going to trick me into answering your dumb question (Stresses the underlined word) Mr. Crow.

    Mr. Crow: (continue to smiles with polite easy, His responses get increasingly polite as The Raven's get increasingly agitated) Won't I?

    The Raven: You're incorrigible.

    Mr. Crow: As you have told me often. Now, tell me that you hate me.

    The Raven: (Stares at him for a minute, seeming shocked. She starts to speak, but in a more careful, slow tone, like she thinks that she needs to soothe him) Are you crazy? Why do you want me to hate you?

    Mr. Crow: (Slowly smiles, and leans forward back to the position he was sitting in before, elbows rested on his knees, hands clasped before him. Index fingers touching each other, pointed at The Raven. He keeps eye contact with her as he speaks) I don't want you to hate me lady, but there's something I just have know.

    The Raven: (Speaks warily now. She keeps an air of strength always, but seems a bit unsure now as well) What do you want you know?

    Mr. Crow: Do you hate me?

    The Raven: (Looks down and sighs, leaning back against the chair, arm slung over the back of the chair. She pauses to think, then looks back at Mr. Crow. She speaks clearly and decisively) Yes, I hate you.

    Mr. Crow: (Seems relieved and leans back, adopting The Raven's pose. He says nothing)

    The Raven: (frowns, seeing his relief. She speaks in an accusing tone) You want me to hate you.

    Mr. Crow: (Chuckles and shakes his head) No Lady, I don't, but I feel I am safer being on this side of your emotions.

    The Raven: (Narrows her eyes and speaks in a low, dangerous tone) What are you getting at Crow?

    Mr. Crow: (Smiles coldly now) You either hate a man or love him. Being partnered with you, I feel it's safer for you to hate me.

    The Raven: (Frowns) Aren't you afraid I'll stab you in the back?

    Mr. Crow: (Shakes his head) No, you wouldn't do that.

    The Raven: (Crosses arms over her chest, crossing her leg at the knee. She purses her lips in an annoyed fashion) How do you know that?

    Mr. Crow: Do you respect me?

    The Raven: Yes

    Mr. Crow: (Smiles) That's how I know.

    (Both are silent for a long time before The Raven speaks.)

    The Raven: (She speaks softly, like her words have been carefully chosen.) Do you hate me?

    Mr. Crow: (Smiles a bit before speaking) No. I respect you, and I like you. You're a good partner in crime.

    The Raven: (Pauses before speaking. Again, her words sound carefully chosen) And it doesn't bother you that I hate you?

    Mr. Crow: (Puts his hands behind his head, looking up, smiling. He crosses his leg at the knee, seeming relaxed. He speaks in a happy tone) Nope.

    The Raven: (Scowls at him and gets up, walking off.) You're weird Mr. Crow.

    Mr. Crow: (Waits until she's gone before speaking softly to himself) As you have told me many times Lady.

    ((End))