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I should have taken the events that occurred the next morning as a sign, telling me not to get out of my bed, not to go to school, and just lay there for ever. First, my alarm refused to go off, meaning I was late in getting up. Next, the shower provide me with freezing cold water no matter how far I turned it toward hot. After the shower, while attempting to conceal the remainder of the bruises on my arms, the foundation spilt on to my jeans causing a fairly large stain, and forcing me to change my jeans, making me even later. I decide since I was late anyway I might as well have a cup of coffee to keep me awake. Upon entering the kitchen im greeted with a note taped to the coffee machine, it read “sorry, but the coffee machine is broke, I’ll pick one up on my way home” scribbled in black ink in moms hand writing. At this point I figured I had better head for my bus. Little did I know that id be walking to school since my bus had already visited my stop and disabused. Now all these events just prove a bad morning, but it gets worse.
I made it to school well after the first bell, no time to get to my locker and barely enough to get to my class before the late bell. my first class went on fine until ms. Barton asked who did the required reading and summaries, that’s when it hit me that the entire day id be the only one not to hand in anything. The days before I debated doing the work and reading hamlet but I figured the teachers wouldn’t expect any home work from a dead girl. Ms. Barton reached my desk and asked “where’s your homework valley?” valley as in valedictorian, which I was well on my way toward and everybody new it. “I don’t have it” I told her. “can u write on a piece of paper and tell me why you of all people will be receiving an ‘f’?” she told me, not asked. Great what was I supposed to do? Write down “sorry ms. B I couldn’t turn anything in to you or read a book that I love because I was attempting to kill myself.”
- Title: relizing reality
- Artist: lifesux23
- Description: so this is an expert from one of my works in progress and latley its been lacking in progress. i need inspired so commonts are NEEDED
- Date: 09/05/2008
- Tags: relizing reality
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Carlequin - 02/22/2010
- First off, grammar is your FRIEND. Also, your lack of tenses and plurals irks me. I want to attack this while swinging a red pen. I also have problems with your word choice. You explain that your bus disabused. Disabuse: To free from error or misconception. A bus, being an object without the ability to have beliefs or consciously make errors, is incapable of disabusing. Also, you must include some metaphors/similes to detract from the boring feeling of the story. Good luck!
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- crazyzalaxgirl - 07/17/2009
- i liked it...the beginning was more descriptive than the ending...and was it him having 1 bad day...or numerous bad days...(the reason for wanting to kill himself...)
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- Red_Mage_II - 09/12/2008
- As Nephthys Angel said, paragraphs would make this much easier to read and would improve this piece dramatically. wink
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- Xxblood muffinxX - 09/06/2008
- Wowzers, dear. Hehe. Meh wants to read more.
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- Kroil - 09/05/2008
- TL;DR
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- lifesux23 - 09/05/2008
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~cont.~
the story in regards to "perfection" isnt what it seems, to everyone around her, her life seems perfect but you need to get a closer look [one guy does...] and its really cool to know that i acheived the "perfect" apperence. sure i'll check out your story, sry about the spelling i suck at it, bu - Report As Spam
- lifesux23 - 09/05/2008
- k thanks everybody you are great help. this is actualy the last part of the story that i have written, she does have a name [katie, though im starting to like hanna-not in osscianion to hanna montana...]
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