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Saved From the Dark
Part 1:
When the Devil Stole the Moon's Heart
Chapter 2
tab "I noticed you were having some trouble this morning." Emmett said on our way home from school.
tab "You have no idea." I replied. Alexa wasn't joking when she said that she didn't give up easily. After class, she followed me, hand extended, all the way to my second period class and until class started. Fate must really hate me, because she was in every single one of my classes. How does that happen?! I'm over a thousand years old and that has never happened before in the history of ever! And shhe wouldn't leave me alone! Luckily, her twin sister, Alice (who looks nothing like Alexa), was in one of my classes and noticed my distress. She tried to get Alexa to leave me alone, but was ignored.
tab "I've never seen someone so determined in my life!" I exclaimed to Emmett.
tab He chuckled. "And I've never seen you so upset." he joked. His face turned serious. "But you must remember that you can't give in, it's too risky. We can't let anyone find out what we are."
tab "Save me the lecture, Emmett, I already know that."
tab Emmett and I have been traveling together for about 120 years now. Before that, we travelled alone. I was always alone, but from what he told me, Emmett once had a small group of friends about 160 years ago that he cared or deeply. He said it was the worst mistake he ever made, having human companions. Eventually, the time came when he had to leave them and never return or else they would realize that he didn't age. But when he left, a hole waas created in his heart from the pain of leaving them. The hole never healed and he still misses his old friends. I knew that because sometimes, when he was in his room and thought that no one was listening, I could hear him crying for them. He's been fully oppossed to human companionship ever since.
tab "Don't worry, I won't give in." I promised. I felt confident that I would be able to endure her torments for as long as it took for her to lose patience.
tab "You'd better not." Emmett grumbled. This time I was the one to chuckle.
tab This is going to be easy. I thought. Besides, it's not like she can keep this up forever. She'll give up eventually.
- by anna banana panda |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/23/2008 |
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- Title: Saved From the Dark 1-2
- Artist: anna banana panda
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Description:
second chapter! <3
summary of chapter 2: while walking home from school, Charlie looks back on what happened that day and some light is shed on the past of Emmett, the Sun god.
please enjoy <3 - Date: 12/23/2008
- Tags: saved moon dark devil gods
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Morbid Humour - 07/06/2010
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It's funny because I have this problem too. I'll write something that I think I'll never have to edit again, and then, low and behold, one of my editor will approach me and demand more description.
To end on a good note, grammar errors are completely non-existent as far as I can tell. ;D - Report As Spam
- Morbid Humour - 07/06/2010
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I think it has to do with appearance as well. I mean, if you've looked like a teenager for your life, you may still regard yourself as one, thereby acting as one. Something about Psychology...I won't get into all that.
Hell, I really ramble, don't I? Feel free to delete this. ><
But I'll agree that you are very capable of writing, indeed.
I think that the best advice I can give you on this chapter, and maybe just a bit on your first chapter, is to go back and add description. - Report As Spam
- Morbid Humour - 07/06/2010
- And sorry, Scriven, but I'm going to have to disagree with you. I don't find Anna's characters particularly immature, really. They're on their way home from school, which they enrolled in to no doubt cover for how old they really are - Anna, please correct me if I'm wrong -, so it's only natural for them to act as teenagers.
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- Morbid Humour - 07/06/2010
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Alright~! I like where this is going. This chapter was sort of short; I'm a bit disappointed that there wasn't more - take that as a compliment. ^^
So this is...Nick talking in first person? No, what am I thinking. These are completely different people, right? So from what I understand this is Charlie and Emmett in this chapter, Charlie talking in first person. - Report As Spam
- Gravetye - 02/17/2009
- So, you're obviously capable of writing, and that in and of itself is unique on Gaia. The ony real problem I have with this story so far, is that if these characters are thousands of years old, why do they act like teenagers? You know? I see the same thing happen in vampire fiction. Ancient characters have really immature personalities. Anyway, I still like this regardless.
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