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I feel the need to speak out since it's at the point again where people are trying to slander me. It's just one of those things that tends to happen when you have a large community. You can't make everyone happy no matter how hard you try and there will be many people you end up rubbing the wrong way and vice versa. And in the most unfortunate cases, some of them will prove to be untrustworthy which can lead to a whole lot of hurt.
My views on the current group doing this towards me goes like this. I don't see them as exactly terrible people that everyone should avoid, but I see them as being petty and catty. Although that isn't the worst thing a person can be, it's still something I have zero tolerance for as well as that of drama instigating.
When it comes to disagreements on things no matter the subject, people need to at least attempt to be understanding and mindful rather than having knee-jerk reactions to things. Such instant, hurt-feelings reactions to things only leads to further turmoil and division. Another thing people should do is try to TALK with me rather than just pushing me off to the side, blocking and then making whole a** threads talking about it.
Lets look at this logically. What does that accomplish? You're upset with me so instead of trying to talk things out with me in a mature way, you choose to make a thread slandering me? It's nothing actually productive and solves nothing but serves your agenda for trying to sully my name. Again, that just shows you're being petty and catty and is only a bad look on you. Further more it's a red flag when you're already known to be an instigator. I get it, we all want justice when we feel there's a need for it when it's actually warranted, but this, it's only petty and hurtful.
My response to the current "callout" thread.
It being said that I'm trying to make you dislike said person is incorrect though I understand how it can be seen as such. I was reaching out to you because I stupidly looked up to you, thought I could trust you and were one of only two people I was talking to about all this stuff when it happened. I was dumb for that and I regret it. I should have realized that you two are good friends but I too was hurt and acting on impulse by reaching out to you the way I did.
Furthermore, I was not trying to guilt trip you. I was actually being as pathetic as I sounded because I was legit hurt and freaked out. Again, that's something I'm needing to work on and am with myself, not to overshare that is. I've been getting better with that though hence I was only talking to literally two people about the whole ordeal. I do apologize though for reaching out to you the way I did with that topic because it was insensitive of me given the friendship between the two of you but at the time it unfortunately went over my head.
As for me having a lot of drama around me, like I just said, s**t tends to happen when you run a large community. Not everyone will always see eye to eye and people will clash especially when there's lack of mindfulness and only acting on impulse. I understand that though, like we're all just human after all and most of us already deal with a ton of anxiety as well as other issues so thinking of the perfect response to something in the heated moment isn't always easy.
That being said, we do need to be more responsible for our own actions and not allow ourselves to go on mini tiraids against people over something so petty. This is also something I can in time forgive if those in question were willing to actually work with me and talk it out like mature adults rather than just blocking, and trying to slander. That's honestly pretty gross and that's not something I myself am going to be doing either.
Times like this I will just block and move on. I'm not about to try to slander anyone via vague posting here or even on Discord. If you're going to act petty like this, you're simply going to get blocked and that's the end of it. It's not hard to reach out to me though if need be since we have so many mutual acquaintances. That's another thing I'd like to add is that I ain't going behind ya'lls backs talking s**t because wtf would that accomplish?
Only time I actually will spread the word about someone is if they are an actual threat to have around and thankfully, this is far from the case with all this drama. It's just petty and quite frankly, I'm ******** done with it all. All of this drama caused me a lot of extreme stress to the point where it was extremely triggering to me in the worst of ways.
For the past few weeks I've been working through it in therapy and the other day I did what was needed for me to finally put it all to rest and now I'm able to heal from it all. What I had to do for that was confront someone who was dragged into it with me and we worked through it together which was a painful process but it worked out and was for the absolute best and I'm more thankful than anything that it's now over.
What's left is a few people being petty trying to slander me which in the long run, it's not going to effect me or my community. I wish you all well but acting this way is not acceptable and I really wish you'd realize that. Furthermore it'd also be very wrong of you to discount what this has all put me through by telling me I'm playing a victim here when this indeed caused me a huge amount of stress to the point where I've had many breakdowns.
Honestly, I don't want anyone to feel bad for me for that or to even pity me. That's not the reason I'm getting into it. I'm just a very straightforward person and I like to say how it is and I being someone with cPTSD, anxiety disorder and so on, this kinda s**t can seriously ******** me up. I'm strong though and I can get through this crap. I have very good people with me and honestly, I don't think I'd even be around if it wasn't for them. But yeah, don't freakin feel bad for me, anyone, there's no need for that. I'm for the most part fine aside from a little anxiety from having to type all this up. I've also been working on becoming even more resilient mentally as it's just a general goal I have for myself.
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Now for what started it all and what happened.
Months ago there was a small rift in my community because some people were offended by myself having outed a specific user for being into a very questionable sounding kink. That being "dd/lg" which stands for 'daddy dom / little girl'.
Quote from Gaia's TOS.
Daddy Dom/Little Girl and similar BDSM roleplays are not allowed on Gaia.
Daddy Dom/Little Girl, Mommy Dom/Little Boy, etc (noted as dd/lg from here on out) refers to a BDSM relationship between an adult male/female and someone portraying a younger/underage childlike persona with the adult persona being in a father/mother/caregiver type of role.
Now I personally find that gross and questionable af and don't want to associate with anyone who's involved in that. I do also understand that it's also a grey area where some people see no issue so long as it's between two consenting adults. Personally I'm not happy with it if someone doesn't see the obvious here but I also don't have the energy to argue with people on a grey area topic.
All that being said, it is very hard for me to get behind anyone being offended by me being bothered by that and saying I'm "against kink in general" which no I'm not. Why would I give a s**t what people do? My only concern is that people are not sexualizing kids in ANY manor whatsoever even if it's just roleplay. Fact of the matter is, it's ***** to even do just that. Further more saying it's because of trauma is also not helping the topic and doing something that is a reminder of trauma such as CSA is counter productive and is straight out gross.
If someone is going to go out of their way to block me and slander me by putting words in my mouth saying "Ralo is against kink like sub/dom" is absolute s**t. That is NOT at all what I ever said or was referring to and trying to pull that is highly questionable to do. I was incredibly messed up over all this for at least a couple months. I was feeling the need to walk on egg shells here on Gaia and in my own community and was feeling like I was in the wrong and questioning myself. That is so incredibly ******** up that I had to go through that and weeks of therapy due to it all.
I'm no longer going to doubt myself or beat myself up when it comes to things that are highly questionable. The way I see it is, if someone is offended by something being heavily contraversal, it should be completely understandable. When it comes to something that's a grey area, I feel that people should just agree to disagree and try to remain mutual. Hence why I'm not going to freak out on those who disagree with me on that. I will however, remain to see it as a problem when people instigate, put words in my mouth, and even more so when they see it as "questionable" when I myself am avidly against that which is obviously something questionable itself.
In closing I want to say again, I'm not demonizing anyone in this current 'Ralo hate circle' as for the most part, I just see it as petty as it's something that could have been handled better if those in question would have actually tried to have a sit down with me and talk it out like adults rather than going behind my back talking to my husband and whoever else when they had a problem with me. I'm still open if anyone does want to talk to me, just reach out to a mutual and we can arrange something. For the most part though, I'm done with all this. Ngl, it's still giving me a little anxiety but so long as I have those closest to me by my side, I will be okay and am moving on from this.
 Ralodosmovo · Wed Mar 12, 2025 @ 04:27pm · 0 Comments |
