Time is so interesting,.
When you have time, you waste it. And then when you don't have time, you usually still waste it. Why is it that we waste time? Thinking about it from another point of view; why is it always harder to say goodbye than actually leaving? The only bad part about them leaving is that you always wish that you did so much more. So, so much more.
I miss my boyfriend.
I haven't seen him about 2.5 months. All I hear is love songs. All I see are couples. All of my friends are finally happy and content with their relationships. And I'm surrounded by it, and I just want it so bad. But I can't.
This weekend should be the last weekend that Dillon has competition, next weekend I have competition; and hopefully after that we can be together again. It's so hard to not see the only thing that you live for... It's so hard to be happy when the only thing that makes you happy is the only thing that you can't have. I really hate it.
Anyways; I hope that when I see him next, I won't waste time. I will actually do the things that I feel like doing rather then spending time afterwards regretting it. I only see him once a month: I really need to make it worth it for the both of us.
On another note, currently I am spending the night at George's house. I like being here because it's where I feel really comfortable. Even more comfortable than I feel at my own house; the only annoying thing now is that George has a girlfriend. I'm glad he's happy. But it makes me mad that she talks to him so much and Dillon doesn't talk to me that much. It makes me mad that they live within reasonable walking distance (less than five minutes WALKING) and yet they complain that they never see each other. It makes me mad that she is all he talks about. It just makes me mad. I don't know; maybe I am just a mad person.
Right now I am waiting for Dillon to get home from his football game and to tell me he loves me so I can sleep soundly tonight. It's a little bit sad and pathetic how dependent on a person I have become.
 Purple Sky Painter · Sat Oct 20, 2012 @ 04:30am · 0 Comments |
