i made something that can't realy be called a poem, worked on ironhides gravestone (yes. he sooo earns one! RIP dear heart )
and someone is on me to do homework. rofl. ok i meant nagging me to do homework xd among other things.
i'll make a few observations before i ditch.
1: i've never been good with friends. not since we moved to the states. i thought i had managed three. one, found out wasn't really my friend a couple years ago. havnt talked to her since then. tried, just couldnt get over it. the other two. well i had suspicions that i wasn't like i good friend (knew they werent mine) but they invited me to their homecoming since they didn't have dates and i dont have a homecoming. well i never got the exact date. found out earlier that they already went to homecoming. and they went with amber instead. the whore they both hate. i think that pretty much shoves in your face that you're not friends. so now i cant even pretend that i have a social life and am able to connect with people. crushing thinking about it..........oh well eh?
2: i've been overly protective. i had a dream where someone hit my twin brother. i ripped him to shreds like an animal 30 times over. i also had a dream involving my little brother being attacked by a spirit. i attacked back. normally i'm a pacifist. i dont attack for anything. but lately i'll rear to the defense under the slightest provocation. it's weird. and scary. cuz i know my depression is getting bad. lol so's my other issues.
lol always in contrast. i'll never be happy, sad, complete, fulfilled, satisfied. nothing. i will always be in want, always hate something about the present. ******** it all i say! blaugh
 BSPBleach · Fri Oct 21, 2011 @ 04:53am · 0 Comments |
