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The Haunting Bird
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Today is the day when I let the bird who carried my burden fly away. However, I still feel its lingering presence in every way. This bird who used to perch on my shoulder would peer into my ear reading my every thought; letting the emotions rot within its tiny brain. Rendering my conscience with its every strain. I sought to relieve the heart-wrenching pain as its apathetic stare seemed to fill me with the deepest empathy, and I begun to glare at the moments from the past that I had never stopped regretting. And I asked myself, "How could such a creature as this make apathetic empathy seem so real in a world world that i kept trying to ignore?"
At night, when I prayed silently to the good Lord above, the bird was still there. It sat on the foot board of my bed twisting and turning its colorful head as if it were trying to comprehend every single word that was soundlessly said. When I finally fell asleep, the intricate bird entered my dreams. In the corner, to the side, or in plain sight; it was always there in all the scenes. Oh why couldn't I get that beautiful bird out of my mind? It haunted me day and night, never letting me out of its sight. Strange enough, I'd come to love that cotton candi colored bird. Its simple yet exquisite feathers were invisible to everyone, but me. They would surround my heart in a cloud with a sky that flowed past me like a sparkling, spring stream after the flooding April rains. May flowers grew around me forming a paradisaical island of my very own. The memory rushed into me like a coal train as if I'd been there before...Heaven? No...It was a far better place than heaven could ever be...at least to me. It was the bird's home, a happy place...a place where I could stay forever and always be free.
I knew who the bird was...
He was someone that no one else could see or even begin to understand. He was something from a haunted fairytale story who knew all there was to know about me. Yet, I knew nothing of his true form. I saw it in his eyes and I knew he was crying inside, wishing for a miracle of some kind to tell me how much he loved me. Even though I knew it already, he seemed to want to tell me himself. I loved the bird as well and I longed to be with him forever and always and still do even to this very day, but he was a bird. I told him, "maybe...we'll find each other...in the next life." But he just bluntly glanced at me with his garden green beady eyes as he cocked his perfectly shaped head to get a closer look and fanned his magnificent feathers atop it. "Aloft! Aloft!", I cried shaking the hand that he was reluctant to leave. And finally, with a few swift movements from his gorgeous wings, he was in the mountain air above me. Blinded by the sun, I craned for at least one more chance to see his beautiful shape for the last time. As his shadow made slight blotches in the sun I swore I could hear his mournful song. I bowed my head and realized that I could no longer hold back the pent up tears. I shook with overwhelming shock as they poured down my hot face and left streams for even more of the salty, liquified crystals. After I had caught my breath again, I quietly whispered with emphatically depressing sorrow,
"You will always be my haunting bird."
***
- Myra Anne (cotton candi owl)
 cotton candi owl · Tue May 18, 2010 @ 10:05pm · 0 Comments |
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