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Who doesn't?

Anyways, Lunch on Friday, at School.
Iwashita & Nakasone weren't at the usual spot we hang out at, thus it's just me, Chinen, Ishida, and....that thing.
Anyways, That thing....and Ishida, god forbid their souls, know pretty much..losers (in lack of a better word)
To be honest, it isn't their sense of "fashion", with their too small jeans and messy hair, or that girl's(or so I assume) sunglasses.

It was the way they presented themselves.

I'll be honest, I've never liked that Tenma kid, he always seemed like a douche in my eyes. I rest my case.

ANYWAYS, that girl, I swear, if she wasn't such a rude...b***h I wouldn't be talking smack, but I need to get this out. I have no one else to talk to, so I'll just talk to myself, you know?
Yes, that is my life. Isn't it wonderful? Yeah, I have everything in the world don't I? Not even one single friend I can trust.

Diddley-doo

Not far from our, as in our nice secluded spot that does not consist of losers like them, were a few girls minding their own business, being...well, girls.
I thought it was cute, it was four friends, happy of their friendship, taking photographs with each other, it's cute, really. It's innocent.
But then that girl, who wears her sunglasses and who is rude, I noticed she was looking to them and then I heard her say stuff, such as...well, I forgot, but I know she was making fun of them. That is sooo rude. Especially since those girls were minding their own business. They weren't being loud, they weren't being obnoxious. They were just smiling at each other, I could see their mouths moving, but couldn't hear their voices, taking photographs, having some nice friend time.
This girl, who dresses like a guy, wears sunglasses when we're in the shade(she was basically wearing sunglasses indoors), makes fun of them. Ridiculous.

But in the end, the group of girls are the ones who have friends, who know great people, who are good people(I noticed after a while that Nakasone knows a few of them and chats with them in the hallway).

It just disgusts be to see someone that...god. [******** it.
It's disgusting to see such a no-life-b***h point, tease, and whatnot to someone else that is not even bothering anyone.

I've had my fair share of this ridiculous nonsense. I could have much better friends then this; friends that don't have other loser friends; friends that, if you don't bother them, they don't even bother looking at you; I could have a ******** life.

I'm tired of being part of this..."group".

I want to do much better, I know I can do much better, but I do like the company, and Iwashita's moral support, thus returning the moral support and lending an ear to listen.
The ones I know aren't bad people.

They don't need to point out other people's flaws just to make themselves feel better on a daily basis. They don't need to point out an innocent person's flaws, even if it's not even a flaw. They don't just randomly point and laugh.

Well, ********. It's a different story if you point and laugh because the one you're laughing at actually deserves it. With their horrid personality or attitude. But then you stop, move on, forget about it, or just wish them the worst of luck in life.

On another note, I'm sick of hypocritical people and their bullshit. Not to mention people that compare two completely unlike people, telling person A to be more like person B, when even if they are "capable", they just can't.

And I find it ridiculous how I have all these plans to grow up and get over all this stupid bullshit, when by the time I'm 18, I'm pretty sure I'll die.
A bit "negative", but to be honest I do not have the financial requirements to continue on, nor do I have the mental ability to work my a** off for some academic-related scholarship, nor am I athletic(I turned in my soccer gear in 1st grade because I was too afraid to join the teenagers in their Youth Soccer Organization thing). I'm too stressed out by my small amount of schoolwork and lack of attention to join a club, they get too in the way of things.

-____-"
I am singing right now.
Ranting, even if to myself, actually helps me improve.
Sure, I'll always end with "I am worth absolutely nothing, and won't get past 18 years of age", but knowing I am capable of thinking that way, kind of makes me want to prove myself wrong.
Which is what I've been doing for the past few years.

I don't have anyone to impress.
I don't have anyone to prove myself too.

Still in elementary school I told myself the only one I have in my life is actually myself, seeing as I have some serious trust issues with people.
One of the trust issues being that: I can't tell a "friend" who I like or once I tell them, they completely steel them away.
Of course, ridiculous because it's not like I had my crush in the first place, right? But what I mean is that...well, they start interfering and this whomever I like goes from talking to me from time to time, to actually just ignoring me all together because I guess I'm not that interesting?

Maybe that is it.
After all, I am always runner up.

Oh, I started singing again. And there is a little pain in my voice.
To be honest, I love singing when I'm crying, or when I am ridiculously in pain.
No
I like singing songs that actually fit my mood.
I am going to be a little...my pride will be as big as my fists right now so (I am really sorry for having even this much pride)

I believe my voice surpasses Yuuki's when I sing songs that match my exact mood..

I'm more into expression, and getting into it, other then just singing just another song for the hell of it.

ANYWAYS, if you are still reading, if anyone is reading that is,

I am fully aware that the group I hang around are just complete downers at school, because once you get them out it's all good.

But it's a whole different story when you attract all-around losers, douchebags, and downers.

I like to sing. Did I mention that?
Haha...I should...try for a maid cafe. Be the only one that doesn't watch anime.
Just the one that probably sings like major s**t.
Not to mention I'm not that attractive.

Ohohoho.
I love talking to myself.

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