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i know this is really really bad and cruel, but i just REALLY need to rant right now. i'm posting here because nobody reads it -_- so nobody will know how mean i can be crying
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[rant]
you, mister, are getting TOO MUCH already. i know i encouraged you to graduate and all, and yeah you failed and i said that's okay, just try harder,and i was there for you a few times, and you caught me crying like ONCE butthatdoesn'tfreakingmean we're like BEST FRIENDS or anything so please..
STOP following me around when you KNOW i'm just hanging out with my own friends who don't like you very much and won't talk to me when you're around. sad but true. and you KNOW it, it's so freaking obvious.
STOP offering to buy stuff for me, it's really nice and all but it's giving everyone a weird impression and since i'm too nice to reject them now they think something's going on when nothing is
STOP telling me you only stick with me because you're too shy to make your own friends because i know you're NOT shy you just don't like the people who try to be nice to you apart from me
STOP texting me when you know i'm not going to reply i'm sick of waking up to 5 messages in the morning all from you "hey jen, you sleeping?", "hey, i guess you are sleeping", "well i'll see you in school then", "there's a star out tonight that reminds me of you" not to mention the ones i receive throughout the whole freaking DAY
STOP taking pictures of me and offering to post them up on facebook with my own album named "jen <3" it's creepy and i'm not photogenic and i look fugly in all of them
and please STOP saying i'm your best friend and making me feel bad because the feeling is NOT mutual.
argh okay. fine. reading over everything i just wrote, i get that i'm just annoyed by the stupidest things and i'm really being cruel. but i'm so annoyed and this has been going on for ages.
crying
please do not think badly of me if you're reading this. i'm not usually like this. but the worst part is i CAN'T tell him all these things to his face because i feel so bad that he doesn't have any other friends. instead i go to gaia and b***h out all my dark feelings -_-
crying
yes i am a b***h. that's the word i was looking for.
what do i do what do i DO?
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one more rant. my mom won't take me freaking bra shopping when she knows all my bras are too big for my rapidly shrinking chest now ugh.
i just had this conversation with her :
"mom, i really need new bras and i've been asking you to take me shopping for like, 3 weeks already."
"kayjen, you KNOW i'm busy. *while playing UNO CARDS with little sister*"
"MOM i really really need new bras, PLEASE?"
"you can hang in there for another week or so right? i'm SO BUSY these days. kay ti, pass me that stack of cards there."
"...WHAT IF I JUST GIVE UP WEARING ALL MY STUPID BRAS NOW AND GET LIKE FREAKING BREAST CANCER HUH?"
"DON'T SAY STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT YOUR HEAD IS FULL OF RUBBISH GO FILL IT WITH THE WORD OF GOD NOT WITH RUBBISH LIKE THIS. breast cancer wtf."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.
i weel KEEL SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW.
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and another thing. i HATE my body right now. i don't know why it's turning against me and yes, this is not the sort of thing to rant about in public, but i am SO annoyed that my boobs are just getting smaller and smaller and i fear they will just like, shrink themselves into nonexistence wtf. no okay, that's ridiculous, but seriously. i was a C cup 2 months ago and now i'm between an A and a B WTF?!
WHY?
what the hell is going on?!
is something wrong with me?! what do i do what do i do?
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today is emotional rollercoaster day wtf i am so angry D:< grrrr.
mmph.
[/rant]
 kayjenno · Mon Nov 16, 2009 @ 09:26am · 2 Comments |
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