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Zikya's Random Journal It's for random stuff, about random days and things from a crazy person.


Zixkya
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Bitter Sweet Thoughts
It's been a bit since I last wrote in here. Things have gotten interesting to say the least. On the brightest note, we've picked up the Mudokens. It's like being part of that wild life preservation group and we're relocating endangered species! I hope humans don't become an endangered species...

While the Mudoken were being picked up, Krya and I got to go shopping! We bought lots of cool things. Clothing and the likes. I got a new fridge, which was my top priority at the time. I need more room for more food; got some more food too. We got presents for people too. I got a little something for everyone, I can't wait to hand them out! Of course I had to pick up some toys as well - you can never have too many. Plus they make a great warding thing as well. Not many people are comfortable picking them up, let alone dealing with one out in the open!

More people know now...about it. I had to tell Chris, it was necessary. I was surprised by his reaction - I half expected to be booted, I know he has a job to do and many men put that job first. But his reaction was more of concern - he was clearly upset by it, he didn't want to see me in jail. That I'm glad for - glad our General is nice, a people person I suppose I could call it. He cares about the people, not just achievements and the such. It would never work out so well in the Russian Army...Papa wouldn't like this at all - even if Papa could stop me from being put into prison, he would never allow this pregnancy to go through. Krya and Marx know too, which is good. Should anything happen on the field or when we are out and about, they can help and call a bluff. We're going to have to come up with something that Sara can say is a medical issue, just in case things run out of hand. Cyris's reaction was rather cute - now he something to keep his ADD at bay. Haha, clearing the way and growling at people that get too close is rather amusing to watch. I can't wait to see what he does if this thing get born? It's kind of a sweet reminder of home, when Papa made the guards take me places when I was younger. Of course they did growl at people...

Well, as it seems, now Chris's brother knows about it. Actually his brother know's alot about me now...Honestly it's a bit odd and it kind of bothered me at first. I know he'd have to tell his brother about the pregnancy - we know the situation is bad on Earth - I still can't bring myself to call it Terra. If their father is dead, then Chris's brother is next in line and he'd be the one to make sure I don't get locked up. If their dad is still alive, then perhaps have both of his children to suport me would be useful. They could convince him to be less harsh. But still, the fact that his brother knows I'm Alexi Barkov's daughter is rather troublesome. Now I get blamed if something goes wrong. This isn't going to bode well...it makes me very nervous.

Ah! This is rather troubling though. This thing inside is moving organs around like a corset that's 2 sizes too small! I can feel things being squished and pushed. Hell, even after having taken anatomy classes, thanks to this thing, I couldn't tell you were half my lower organs are! And food, geesh I had to go and get another fridge! I heard women having cravings during pregnancies, but this is ridiculous. An other frustrating this is I still have no clue what gender this thing is...and a rather disturbing thought crossed my mind - what if...what if it's like more that one? Like how lots of animals have litters of babies? Cyris is rather animal-ish and we have no clue as to how the gestation period works. There's no guidelines or what not...why do I always realize these details after it's done? Perhaps Berk can help? If he can see all those freaky things like prophecies, maybe he can do better than an X-Ray and tell me what gender this thing is - I don't want to keep referring to the baby as an it, that rather demeaning. Besides Berk and the other Mudokens knew without me saying anything that something was there. Perhaps he can see through this hard thing in my belly - my best guess would be that this hard thing is an egg of sorts, but honestly I don't know precisely what it is. Just using simple common sense. It's a baby, but there's something hard blocking the view. Looking through different types of animals and the such from Earth, an egg makes sense. Also, it wouldn't be wall, as it's pushing things around all around, not just in one direction...so yeah, that's my only logical conclusion. That being the case...the birthing process is going to be odd as hell. I'd assume, unless like gecko eggs that become soft during passing time and harden up later, a sea-section is going to be in order. Although it is all possible that it could hatch inside, where as my body would have to re-absorb the calcium and birth would pass near like normal? Oh dear, I really don't want to think about this...it makes me nervous - all I know, is when it happens, I want them all to be there. I don't want to be alone. Please let Cyris, Chris, Krya and Marx be there too - of course having a medic would be nice...I know Papa wouldn't like it, but perhaps...if he saw how happy it makes me...maybe he'd understand.

Still, it excites me to know this just might work...something that is mine, something different - just like how no one else has purple explosions...only Cyris and I will have this. It will be our special something... I won't let anyone take it away. I want to show the universe, it doesn't matter what you are...where you're from, deep down...we're all the same. I want Papa to learn and the people of Earth too...If everyone sees that we are all the same, maybe peace - real peace, not this false front - will be possible. As much fun the adrenaline rush from fighting is, it'd be nice to go home - to enjoy a real day out, where we don't have to fear something terrible is going to happen!

Going home...is going to be bittersweet. We know something is wrong - very wrong. The power is out, we can see it from space. This scares me. We have a name, but it's possible anyone could be behind this. With the Presi-Emperor silent, communication is...down. Poor Chris, this must be bugging him nuts. I really hope Papa isn't behind this. It'd be hell to clear his name. What's been done is the past is done, and if we were starting a new world...then clearing names...Well, if it isn't Papa and if he can be of some help, perhaps things will end well? Maybe there's a place for him somewhere in our army? I mean, he was trying for the same thing, so it isn't like he wants to break the world apart. He knows how to do what he does, so he'd be useful. I mean, they found a place for me...could they find one for him? To some degree, I'm hoping what ever the problem is, that it is human caused. I don't want to deal with aliens right now, I don't think I could deal with the stress. We've got a bunch on the ship, I'm caring half of one and I hate bugs. I don't like them bug alien things - all creepy and weird and sneaking and nasty. Don't get wrong...I like the aliens we have aboard the ship...hell I wouldn't have what I have if I didn't, but them buggy ones are very unpleasant...

Sad to say, it'd be easier to deal with humans - humans die so easy.
We are our own destruction...




 
 
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