Alright, since I had a moment with my oh-so-beloved friend [A Minor Catastrophe, if you MUST know], I'm going to have to do this retarded journal entry now because of it.
The story:: My dear friend recently found a hair accessory I lost about two weeks ago on her driveway in surprisingly good condition for having been out for two weeks. Not even run over once...this is what I assume happened...
The adventure::
The little red accessory had been abused that entire day. First it was taken from some ungodly place, then jammed into its owner's hair (which really wasn't bad, but still...). Throughout the several car rides to some place or another, it had been constantly fussed with by said owner, and she refused to simply let it be, and her surprisingly dry fingers kept leaving smudges on the polished black surface that was supposed to be in her hair. After about an hour and ten minutes of "blahblahblah" between the girl, her mother, and her friend, the car finally slowed to a stop, and the girl was fast to jump out of the car and onto the driveway leading up to someone's house. She skipped, her hair bobbing up and down, up and down.
The floor shook like mad, and suddenly the accessory was falling, falling, and it landed onto a the concrete of the driveway as its dark-haired owner ran into the house. She had a conversation with her rabbit-hooded friend and the two ran over to the car. It watched its owner almost trip over nothing as she ran shouting "Yaaaaaay!" and flailing her arms in some unattractive fashion. The oblivious one left the red accessory in the driveway. Suddenly, it felt very...alone.
Three hours passed, and suddenly, lo and behold! A bird came and decided that the red thing was too precious to leave on the floor all abandoned and alone. With its ridiculously sharp talons, it scraped up the pathetic little hair accessory and took flight. If it had vocal chords and a mouth, the accessory would have been screaming. The air was getting chilly, and it found itself very uncomfortable at the high altitudes that it happened to be flying through. Well, apparently the bird could understand its thoughts because at that moment, it decided to drop the defenseless accessory from some ungodly height! A random gust of wind threw it to the left and the accessory fell onto a lake. Thankfully, it didn't sink, but it did however, get caught onto a fish's scales and dragged across whatever unhappy body of water it happened to be near. It wanted to scream again, maybe even swear in Chinese.
Twenty minutes of being dragged around later, the accessory was hooked onto by a fishing-rod. After being scrutinized by its captor, it found itself being thrown back towards the water. The thing never made contact with the water again as it was once again caught by a fish, which was then promptly caught by a pelican. The darkness was uninviting, and the bird had fish breath. Had it the ability, the accessory would have thrown up in the creature's mouth. After god-knew how long, the accessory found itself spit up on the floor as it apparently wasn't very tasty.
Now it was wet, slimy, cold, and to top it all off, it was lost. It took the droplets sliding off its side as tears and left it at that.
That was when the dog came along and sniffed it, decided that it was the ball it was looking for, and then picked it up with its sharp and pointy teeth. The accessory gave a silent wail of agony. It was taken to some random human who raised an eyebrow in question and then removed the accessory from the dog's mouth. He held it out at a distance and the made a face before throwing the thing to the floor and leaving the grassy area. The accessory made a "face" at the back of the retreating man.
A child found the accessory next, picking it up and pretending it was a laser gun (how it even slightly resembled one the accessory would never know) and then the little child took it to the mother. The mother screamed, scolded the youngling about picking up dirty things from the floor, and then removed it, throwing it into the gutter in her little craze. It fell into the disgusting sewage, from which a rat decided to pick it up and scurry along with it out into the open, where, it just so happened, to be raining. An owl snatched the rat with its accessory and then took off into the sky with its next meal. The rain pelted the accessory, which, at that point, had decided that it would rather have been run over by a car, and suddenly it slipped from the owl's grasp. Wind blew it far away from the rain, and it landed on the top of some unknown car.
Time passed, and suddenly, the car was moving. The accessory flew off the top and landed onto hard concrete, much like the start of its adventure, though it didn't particularly find it enjoyable. It had been through seven or eight types of hell in the past...hell, what did it know? Two weeks? It just wanted to be picked up and broken. Twice. Oh, but what was that? It seemed that its wish was going to come true, as a car was pulling into the drive way and...no! The shadow of the metal behemoth cast itself over the accessory, but did not end its horrid amounts of misery. More time passed, and the metal behemoth once again pulled away. Many hours later, the same one pulled up close, but not over the red puff thing. Someone got out of the car, the rabbit-hooded one, if the accessory recalled correctly, and then the girl looked at it and raised a question.
"Hey, isn't this Christina's?"
END
Akai Papillon Community Member 
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Community Member
I laughed about six times while reading that. Now that I know of all things that have dirtied it, I am considering putting it back on my driveway. D:
(Just kidding, of course. I have new found sympathy for your hair accessory. It is lying with the assorted stuffed animals on my dresser. :'D)
For anyone who cares: I was formerly A Minor Catastrophe.