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When I was only 13 on my molester/attender rapist 18th birthday, my mother caught him dry humping me from the back on my sisters bed. It was a very dramatic, embarrassing experience, and I got terribly sick the same night because of it. After that the word spread out through out my whole family and the next week my sister confessed, that she was being molested by our brother, but never said I too was molested. He was put in jail for a month and was set free, only because my WHOLE family wanted him free and so pursued my sister, almost brain washed her, to tell the judge that he only did it once. But the judge put out a restraining order to stay away from her. At time to time, the police would come around and check the house, randomly, to see if he was still around. But he was invited to the house right after everything cooled down. Which is ******** ridiculous, but at least the molestation stopped for quit a while. After that, everything revolved around my sister, and everyone completely forgot that I was the one caught in the act. I was like a shadow that no one seemed to really care about. I was molested my whole life, as long as I can remember, until that very day. Even though after everything happened, he approached me and asked me if I wanted to go to his room, and he gently touched me (you know where). I freaked out and walked away without saying anything, until a few months later, I had mentioned it to my sister and my sister told my mother. Nothing really happened but he just got his a** whooped by my mother. After that it never happened again.
In my freshmen year I was having a boyfriend problem, and I went to the councilors office to talk about it, but the conversation slowly started to change from my boyfriend, to my past history. rolleyes I mentioned that I was never reported to the authorities, I had no idea that she can still file a report against him from such a long time ago. I was re-living everything from my past, similar to it at least. This time it was me being questioned and not my sister and having my family telling me to lie and tell them it was not true, and having everyone scowl me from afar. So I lied to the judge that started to question me, just to save his a**, and this judge also put a restraining order on him to stay away from me. But it didn't last long, he still came back a month later after child services stopped checking up on me. The same s**t I tell you.
My mom told me he was gonna stay for a few days until he gets his own place. But those few days turned into a few months, almost a year really.
So recently he was put in jail for a total different reason and he's been there for almost a year now, and about to come out. My mom says he's not gonna come back, but come on, if it didn't happen the first 2 times, what makes you think its not gonna happen again? He's gonna come back anyways. There's always gonna be a reason for him to come back. I don't mind seeing him, but him living in the same house as me. No thank you. I'll go crazy. I've confronted my family about this, but they always promise me that I'm not gonna see him again nor even talk to him. HA, they told me this hmmm... I don't know about the last 6 years, and you know what is the most ******** up part, they make me talk to him over the phone, when he calls from jail, they tell me to say hi, knowing perfectly well how I feel about the situation. I tried reasoning with them, but they seem to just blow me off.
Yeah, he's gone through a lot through out his whole life, but it still doesn't excuses him for doing that to me and my sister. I still love him don't get me wrong, but I just can't stand being in the same room, same house, same street. I just can't. I don't want to make him feel bad cause he gets emotional. Many times he's gone to my house drunk and always says the same thing, "I'm sorry what I did to you and your sister." Jeez, whatever. I don't know what to do anymore, I know for a fact that he'll be back. What should I do?
 SynthetikXtasy · Fri Jan 30, 2009 @ 11:14pm · 0 Comments |
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