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Cake, Cards, Chocolate, and Cigarettes
Harmless Secret?
As if guilt weren't already eating him alive, things only got worse when more children began asking him about where he'd been all night. With approximately only thirty to forty kids or so in the House, news traveled fast.
Why would there be such a low number of attendants at an orphanage for the gifted? Well, for one, it was an orphanage. Then it was a school for the gifted. Simple as that. No one could worm their way into the system without meeting both requirements. Whenever someone gifted was reported in an orphanage that accepted the House's offer and a new child entered the House, the children would treat the newcomer like they were a shiny new toy. It was almost ridiculous sometimes amongst the younger populace, but that was just the way things were.
"So, Matt," a slim waist slipped into the seat beside him, pushing him lightly and bumping him into Mello, "where were you really at yesterday?"
"I'm telling you, Skye," he sighed for the fifth time since it had struck the hour, "I was in the outskirts of the woods, relaxing. It was really nice outside so I fell asleep and contracted some weird bacteria thing. I woke up when it was really cold outside and I came into the House at bit after midnight and the Nurse made me drink this weird green juice stuff. That's it."
One of the brunets huffed, "well, it was more interesting the first time you told us. We'll catch you later," and walked away. The quieter twin followed, reaching out and taking his brother's hand to drag him away from bothering Matt and outside to play again.
That was Skye and Terra, both age fourteen. Skye was the energetic, lanky one with the tight muscles and 'dashing good looks.' His golden brown hair had grown out to about five inches from root to tip and was constantly falling across his bright, hazel eyes only to be swept up again by his work-worn fingers. Because of his constant exercise, he was a good inch taller than his older brother and hid body was built according to that of a future thief.
Terra was the kinder, meeker twin with a soft pale skin and body. His hair matched his brother's only in color and texture. Length wise, it had grown down to his shoulders long ago and was always pulled back in a loose ponytail two inches past the base of his neck. A pencil was always tucked in the space above his right ear and a small notepad was always in his back left pocket, handy in case of the need for some 'intense note taking' as the boy had once jokingly put it. Really, it was for sketching the details of the remarkable buildings he'd run across during the House's bimonthly trips outside. Terra was smart enough to be the future mastermind of their brilliant break-in plans. The pair that had arrived from France a couple years ago due to their acting skills, but were soon found to posses other great talents. And because their newfound skills complimented each other, they took a portion of their Yearly Diagnostic Exams together.
Skye and Terra were two of the people Mello could tolerate other than Matt. Matt thought their chosen names were genius, but whenever Mello scoffed, saying that Terra was too feminine of a name and that the frailer boy should've chosen 'Tarren,' the redhead shut up. No use arguing with the blond.
Sighing, he looked down at his food, poking at the sandwich he and Mello were sharing with a toothpick. Seriously, they had to share. These things were big a** sandwiches!!
"So, Mello," he asked casually, "what are you doing today?"
The blond looked at him with dead eyes, obvious annoyance upon his features. He crossed his arms again and scowled.
And that, children, Matt chuckled, is Mello's classic Pissy Face.
"Well, I was going to ask you to sleep over last night, but you were gone."
He felt his heart sink a little. So Mello while had visited to ask him to spend the night he was with Panda, cleaning and eating surprisingly delicious cake while talking about videogames and life? Damn. Okay, so maybe last night wasn't so bad. Even after so many visits to the clock tower room, he'd never expected for that flimsy-looking bed to be so comfortable. Actually, he'd never really imagine spending the night there, let alone meeting anyone. Actually, he was pretty sure only a paranoid idiot would truly think those types of things out. Or maybe a paranoid genius, seeing as how Panda was so careful with concealing himself from the outside world.
But he'd missed a sleepover opportunity with Mello. He's missed a chance to fall asleep near the object of his childish affection.
Damn. Missed out.
Matt sighed. It wasn't that he hated Near just as Mello did. It was more of a matter of enjoying Mello's company over the younger boy's. Usually when Matt slept over at Mello's room, it served as a ticket to watch the blond sleep. The blond's usually stiff features would relax and his tense eyes would slide shut, leaving nothing but a vision of a blond, angelic beauty behind him. He placed a hand on the other boy's head, ruffling the blond strands lightly.
"Hey, you could've just asked Roger to room us together when I first got here," he reminded the hot-headed blond apologetically, adding under his breath, "I wish you did..."
"Yeah," the blond agreed, a rare show of his actual wants other than to beat Near, "but I didn't think I'd actually like you when you first got here."
On any other given day, the redhead would have given the chocoholic a near instantaneous response, but instead of replying to Mello's statement, Matt's mind had already began to wander to thoughts of the man that was most likely eating cake for lunch in the empty room floors above him. Would he be lonely up there? And when Matt went back up again, how would he address the man? L? Panda? Maybe a nickname or simply something like 'teacher' that would be generic and a paradoxical mix of informal and awkward. Perhaps Panda would enjoy hearing about that? And come to think of the strange man, how was he going to sneak into the passageway while the children were set loose inside the House. The entrance to the room was situated inside the room where the majority of the children in the House would pass by at any given hour of the day.
"... Matt, did you hear a single word that I said?"
The redhead looked up from the spot on the floor he'd zoned out into and straight at the blond beside him.
"Sorry, I spaced out."
Mello scowled and huffed an indignant sigh.
"I asked if you wanted to spend the night tonight. I don't think the teachers will care enough to try to stop it anyway. Not that they ever do anything," the older boy scoffed.
Matt furrowed his brow silently, observing the blond carefully and uncomfortably. Spending the night? He'd love to, but... what about Panda? He still couldn't bring himself to actually come out and say the famed investigator's name, let alone think it. Besides, some part of him already felt connected to the notion of the older man being a 'Panda'. Somehow, he was less threatening that way.
"When?" he asked, poking the remnants of his disemboweled sandwich. He mentally dubbed it 'maim by toothpick'.
"How about after dinner?" the blond turned to him and suggested.
"Sure," the gamer replied, as if on command.
Oh s**t, but I have to go be with L for my make up lesson... Damn it. What can I do without getting myself killed by my best friend or the head of the House?
He turned to his right to see the other boy licking the last bit of raspberry vinaigrette off his fingertips. His insides tingled and a blush came to his face. It was as though his entire being was focusing on that long, pink tongue stroking around the chocoholic's index finger, stiffening as he watched the other boy slipped his finger into his mouth, closing his lips around the digit and sucking until he pulled it out clean, slowly from what Matt could only imagine to be the soft space between his lips. Matt's breath stopped as Mello's tongue quickly flicked out and met the very tip of his finger. His golden blond locks fell across his face as he held a napkin to wipe the saliva off his fingers. He ran that tongue quickly over his lips and then wiped his mouth clean on the napkin.
"Matt," the blond called to him within his mental fog, "are you alright?"
He shook his shaggy red hair to clear his head, coughing lightly into his fist, hoping that the momentary movement would distract Mello from the blood rushing through his cheeks. If the blond had noticed anything, he certainly didn't show it.
"Y-yeah," he coughed again when Mello patted him on the back, "I'm alright. Just swallowed a dust particle."
The blond snorted in his cocky, holier-than-thou way, his eyes alight with a surprisingly airy happiness. Matt cleared his throat and grinned back at him, making and holding eye contact until the blond grew uncomfortable and adverted his gaze.
"So, what do you want to do today? We've got all afternoon."
Actually... he frowned and sighed.
"Actually, Mello..." Matt began, scratching the back of his head, "I'm gonna be a bit busy in the afternoon," Mello gave him the eyebrow. "Previous engagement," he explained.
Matt could've sworn he heard a reluctant sigh as he watched those sensuous lips part and exhale.
"Uhm, but I don't think I'll have to do anything 'til three, so if you wanna hang out, that's cool," he quickly amended, throwing in a quick smile just for good measure, his eyes still slyly glancing toward Mello's mouth, his heart lifting a little as he watched those thin, pink lips, turn upward into the hubris grin they'd held before.
Mello smiling this much? I must be delirious...
He chuckled and nodded. He might as well take advantage of this opportunity to spend some time with his best friend, even if he couldn't exactly focus at the time.
"Alright then. Shall we do the usual?"
- -
Sundays were generally relaxation days. For the younger children, they took all day to play and do what small assignment the instructors of the House gave them. Monday through Friday, the House had classes for children that helped specialize their talents into their trade skill. Younger children and older children had different classes. The two age groups split at thirteen and ranged from eleven to eighteen with a new child adding to the mix every half year. The House had contacts inside some of the biggest orphanages in the world that would contact the House whenever they found a child with a talent. Every year when summer and winter rolled around, contacts the House held in other countries would find a student or two from orphanages all over the world and give them the opportunity to enter Wammy's House until they were eighteen. With a wide array of global contacts, new students would occasionally join the ranks of the other talented kids mid-school year if they agreed. Most times, the children did.
On the third floor of the House in the room the farthest away from the stairs, Matt sat tapping away at his SP in Mello's room, lying across the blond's bed on this stomach, a pillow propped up beneath his chin and his arms extended far ahead of his face. He'd turned down the mechanical music of the game, half wanting to go back to his own room next door to grab his headphones. True, Golden Sun had an amazing soundtrack, but he couldn't stand to listen to it without the headphones. It just wasn't the same.
"How long are you gonna be playing that?"
Mello plopped down beside the redhead and unfolded the silver foil of the chocolate bar he'd pulled from his bedside nightstand. The bar was actually already thee fourths gone, leaving only a small amount inside the oversized tin sheet. He broke off a chunk of the bar with his teeth, not biting down, but rather taking a hold on the chocolate with his teeth and bending the bar so that it broke off without him having to chomp down on it. He knew that if the blond hated anything about chocolate, it was getting the sugar caught in his teeth unnecessarily. The method he used was almost like breaking a piece off with his fingers and placing it in his mouth, just as clean, but much, much faster.
"Meh. As long as you want me to," the redhead replied casually.
'Follow Mello's wishes.' That was the lifestyle he had adapted to. Mello had figured it out a long time ago, but had enough respect for the younger boy to leave him free from being ordered around. The true nature of Matt's behavior was unknown. Instead, Matt was sure that Mello thought of them as more of an owner and puppy relationship. Believing that Matt was loyal simply because he loves his 'master' in a non-romantic way would be a completely close-minded thought process. But, then again, Mello wasn't known for thinking outside the box. He had his goals and principles that he stuck to almost a bit too steadfastly.
The blond suddenly lowered his body beside Matt's and lay on his stomach to watch the redhead play his game beside the boy, resting his head sideways on his crossed arms, his shoulder-length blond hair fanning out behind him, brushing the gamer's arms softly. Matt stiffened, the bumps in his skin rising at the simple touch of the other boy's hair to his skin. He simply continued to stare at the screen while Mello watched him. After a few moments of silence, he realized that Mello had closed his eyes, and was breathing deeply and evenly. He nudged the blond's arm, making a sound of exasperation at himself when Mello opened his eyes.
"Yeah, Matt?"
Those wide blue eyes stared directly into his, making him slightly uncomfortable at their close proximity. He could smell the chocolate from the other boy's breath and briefly wondered if Panda ever ate chocolate. Shaking those fleeting thoughts off, he turned to face his game once more.
"I just thought you were asleep," he explained, "so I wanted to wake you up. I wanna talk."
Hey, he was an honest guy. Just because he was careful, didn't mean he'd lie or sugarcoat anything unnecessarily. 'Unnecessarily' being the key word.
The blond lying beside him was silent for a while, gazing at Matt, seemingly scrutinizing him yet spacing off at the same time. Mello's face always relaxed when he was in his contemplative trance. It was unlike his 'studying face' (as Matt had dubbed it), which solidly held the wrinkles and frown lines no matter what he was focusing on. Matt didn't like it when Mello had that concentrating expression on his face, but couldn't bring himself to full on hate that look. The blond was just too beautiful for that.
"So what exactly are you doing this afternoon?" Mello asked.
Aww s**t. There it is again. How can I even... God, I don't know if I can lie to him! Augh. Ok. The partial truth isn't lying. It's just withholding information.
"Matt?"
His palms were sweating against his game boy, the old school Link sticker he'd put under the A and B buttons peeling slightly. Hanging out with Skye and Terra had done him some good as he learned how to keep his face straight. It was a difficult matter, but he found that when he truly concentrated on a spot somewhere in his vision, he could prevent discomfort from appearing on his face. Turning to face his game boy would have been the smart thing to do, but instead he focused on Mello.
"Matt. I asked you a question," an irritated voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Oh, yeah, uhm..." he trailed off, still not entirely as to what to say regarding his plans for the afternoon, "I-I've got a make up lesson to do for missing this morning's. Roger rescheduled my lesson."
His body tensed as the blond seemed to be glaring straight into his eyes and perhaps past them. To calm himself, he focused on the crease between the blond's brows, his eyes tracing the details of the older boy's face and admiring the sharpening curves to angles of his cheekbones. His eyes wandered downward to the boy's tongue again. That soft, stroking, sensuous distraction made his core churn slightly and his body heat rise.
"Well, that's alright," the blond nodded as he went back to resting his head on his thin, slightly tanned arms.
Matt mentally heaved a sigh of relief, yet couldn't do much about the slight problem in his pants. He was grateful that he was lying on his stomach, but nearly closed his eyes in uncontrollable want as Mello shifted again in the bed, his heated body pressing against Matt's gently as he readjusted his position. The redhead's eyes squeezed shut suddenly and he drew in a sharp breath. The chocolate addict was now lying facing his ceiling, stretching his arms past his head and then forward to his face. Matt opened his eyes and looked down to see his best friend's shirt began riding up slightly, that damned pale skin exposed and taunting him.
The color reminded him of Panda, whose melanin content was probably quite low overall in his skin. Except Panda's skin was different, not as tight looking, but probably just as smooth. It was the type that might get sunburned as opposed to tanned. A sunburned Panda, animal or person, would be a giggle-worthy sight.
His thoughts wandered until he began thinking about last night, He was somewhat shocked that he'd even told Panda about Mello in the first place.
He didn't even flinch when I said I was gay. How can he be so tolerant? I've always never heard any of the teachers of the House being pro-homosexuality. That's just too weird...
He stared, only semi seeing, at Mello's waistline. Suddenly, the cloth exposing the boy's body shifted over his skin and Matt's eyes were drawn upward to the boy's face beside him. The redhead was all too aware of the intense red blush upon his cheeks as he watched the boy lick the chocolate off his fingers in a repeated flicking motion.
Mello, he moaned mentally as his thoughts wandered farther down the road along with his hormones, you don't even know what you can do to me...
"Matt, are you okay?"
It wasn't a tone of concern, but rather one of something akin to condescending amusement that came from Mello's lips. Collapsing off his elbows, Matt sighed and pressed his face to the pillow his arms were just resting on.
"Y-yeah," he lied, his lips speaking against the cloth of the pillow. Even the pillow smelled like Mello. "I think it's just the thing I got out in the woods."
The blond eyed him suspiciously again, but ended the staring early with a sigh.
"Then go to the nurse," Mello ordered, his mouth setting into a lop-sided frown.
The redhead coughed again and sat up awkwardly, willing that Mello wouldn't look down at his pants. Luckily, the boy didn't.
"Let's go, Matt."
And like the loyal and loving puppy that the chocoholic believed he was, Matt followed him out of the room and down the grand cherry-wood stairs to the Nurse's Office while tapping away at his game boy like nothing was wrong.
- -
The metal disk on the end of the stethoscope always felt cold against his skin and he hated it. Doctoral equipment always made him feel uncomfortable. Thank God this examination didn't include any needles. Matt wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay conscious if it did.
"I'm going to the library to study," the blond called as he neared the exit of the room.
"Alright," Matt sighed, "see you after my make-up lesson, then."
Matt watched with a certain disconnected sadness as his best friend turned and left the small door to the Nurse's Office. He hated to see the boy go, but as usual, as soon as the blond got Matt to his destination, he'd leave with little or no conversation. If anything, since his realization of his feelings for the other boy, he'd been sighing more and more recently. He hated the physical feeling of the heave of breath and the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders. The action made him feel like a silly schoolgirl.
"Matt," the gentle voice of the Nurse instructed, "honey, open your mouth and say 'Ahh' now."
He complied and his eyes scrunched up a bit as he felt the prodding of the wooden popsicle stick against his tongue. Any more pressure and he'd probably gag. It wasn't that Nurse was bad at her job, but rather Matt's body was just too sensitive.
With a delicate nod, Nurse smiled and retracted the stick from Matt's mouth and flicked it with expert aim into the trashcan across the room by the door. Matt smiled a bit as he heard the stick plop into the bottom of the plastic lining without as much as brushing the rims of the bin.
"Nice aim," he commented as he turned back and met Nurse's eyes with his own.
"Naturally," she chuckled.
Nurse took off her gloves and began washing her hands in the sink, the sound of the interrupted water stream beating against the metal hollowly as she washed them from the webs between her fingers to her forearms with thorough vigor.
"Now, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you," she informed him over the running water, "So you can run along now."
The whimsical tone of her voice actually worried the redhead. She dried her hands and untied her white-blonde hair from its high ponytail and let the above-the-shoulders strands fall around her face. She was quite young actually. Rumor was that she used to be a student at the House who'd left for medical school and come back with three different medical majors and four minors at the age of twenty seven, adopting the name 'Nurse'.
"Thanks much, Nurse," the gamer grinned, sliding off the examination table with a slight jump and a soft thud, "I'll just go ahead and take my leave, I suppose."
He pulled out his SP from his jacket pocket and flicked the power switch on. The light on the side of the silver square flashed red and he quickly shut it off again.
Mello studying means another four to five hours without him. It's only one thirty, so... yeah. I might as well go visit Panda early. He wouldn't try to kill me for that, right? Well, of course not! He's the owner of the House after all and an unexplained death of a child here would be awful publicity. Of course, we never get publicity here. It's the House. It's closed off to the outside world the good majority of the time-
The high soprano voice of the blonde nurse interrupted his thoughts.
"See you later, Matt. Try not to play too many videogames."
Aww... whatever. I'll go see him now.
With a silent smile, he waved to Nurse and stepped out the door. Once outside the room, he turned right and made his way down the hallway. Soon, the opening to the main entry room was clearly in his sight. Matt surveyed his surroundings and decided that there was no threat of someone coming into the room before quickly ducking behind the leather couch and feeling along the creamy white walls with his fingertips. He stopped and closed his eyes, moving his hands farther to the right and only slightly downward before finding the irregular bump beneath the wallpaper. Keeping one finger on that spot, he trailed the other hand down the wall to the movable portion of the wooden floor panel. After sliding that one board farther into the wall, he uncovered a pull string underneath. Pressing the notch in the wall and pulling on the string at the same time, he pulled the latched sliding door panel hiding the passageway open. The notch he'd pressed opened up the pathway of the rope, making it possible to move the sliding trap door.
Slipping inside quickly, Matt shifted the wooden floorboard back into its original position and pulled string attached to the panel until it shut behind him. Turning to his immediate left, he followed the light at the end of the tunnel. The familiar ground beneath his feet began to slope upward gently until he turned the lit corner. The light was from the natural sun that was let through the ornate stained glass windows that was positioned conveniently along the passageway. This illuminated the metal bars that served as a ladder quite well. Matt slipped off his socks and stuffed them in his pockets so he wouldn't trip on the bars and began climbing.
I wonder how Panda gets in here.
He hoisted himself onto the ledge of the elevated passageway and began crawling toward the end of the succeeding tunnel. The wall space suddenly evened out and he knew he'd passed the section of the girl's living spaces that held the extra large three-person room that matched the one on the boy's floor. He reached the end of the tunnel and stretched his arms up. He rubbed his sore knees before going up the second set of metal ladder bars and onto the tunnel lining the third floor.
With a huffed, he hoisted himself onto the third level and continued along the path of the last hallway. This hallway doubled up over the passageway of the last one and was the same length, but bent outward to the left halfway through. At the end of this bend was the last set of metal ladder bars that went skyward to the clock tower room.
"Hey, anyone there?" the redhead called as he threw his gaze toward the tunnel entrance at the end of the ladder.
A familiar voice from the night before called back, "Please. Come in."
With the invitation, Matt gripped the cold steel of the metal bars and climbed to the last tunnel. He lifted his body onto the last tunnel and crawled forward a few feet before standing up. He made his way toward Panda who was standing at the end of the curved tunnel.
"Back so soon and with no shoes?" Panda chuckled.
He looked down to his feet as he stepped off of the slight ledge of the tunnel and onto the wooden flooring.
"Nope," he replied a silly grin instantly lighting his face.
The faint sound of an exhale of air through the nostrils paired with a slight grin that was enough to show Matt that Panda approved. He pulled his socks out of his pocket, only to find that he must've dropped one back in the tunnel. Panda looked at him with a raised eyebrow and chuckled.
"Yeah, uhm... 'bout the socks..." Matt began to explain.
"It is no matter. I myself quite despise socks, really."
He stuffed the single sock back into his pocket and watched as Panda shuffled over to the bed and plopped down, pulling his legs up to his chest and settling into the mattress. Matt joined him without a word and sat down. He leaned forward to open a new box that sat on the table. This time, the box was a powder pink with white and light gold lines decorating it like they were frosting or honey drizzled onto the box instead of the printed ink on the box. He opened the box and took out a slice of chocolate fruit tart and a slice of marble cake with crushed peppermint candies scattered on top, and he placed them both on separate plates.
"This one is for you."
He handed the cake with peppermint to the teen and gave him another spork to eat with. They chuckled simultaneously, as they both took their first bites into their respective sweets. The pure taste of mint overwhelmed his mouth and he could feel his airways unblocking themselves and breathing freshly and delightedly. He shut his eyes as the sensation spread upward from his nostrils and seemed to fill his entire head with a clear and clean filtered sensation. The soft cake in his mouth melted along his tongue and he swallowed the bite without having to put any effort into chewing.
"This is amazing," he breathed as soon as he swallowed, "thank you."
"Your eyes sparkled," Panda smiled.
Matt turned his face downward to hide his own. He took another bite of the cake, savoring the not too sweet yet flavorful taste inside his mouth. The powerful peppermint taste had died down and had reduced to just a lingering feeling of clarity. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the feeling of airflow take over again. In the back of his mind, he registered the older man smiling in the background, but the feeling of the air was too overwhelming for him to completely comprehend all the details of his surroundings.
"So what are you doing here early? I was sure that class was not supposed to begin until tonight."
Panda assumed Panda Stance and turned to Matt with pure curiosity in his eyes.
"Mello wants me to sleep over tonight and... Yeah. I hope I'm not being too pushy about it all."
Panda smiled and reached out to ruffle the boy's red hair. Matt felt his face color at the casual action, unsure of whether or not to be embarrassed or perhaps honored that a man of Panda's status was so friendly with him already.
"That is perfectly fine. I had nothing else to do but sit here and stare outside for a while, so I thank you for your companionship."
He's so formal.
"It's no problem."
Matt took another small bite of his cake, smiling when the white touched his tongue and he felt the mint cover his senses once more. He set the plate and spork down on the table and hugged his knees to his chest, his eyes closing happily as his rocked back and forth slightly. It didn't matter that he looked so childish. He was enjoying himself and the appearance he took when he was happy didn't matter.
"Well, since you are here, we might as well take this time to do your make up lesson. If we start at almost two in the afternoon, I suppose we can finish at three thirty. Is that enough?"
"Yes," he responded.
"Well then," Panda got up from the bed, carrying his plate and fork with him as he shuffled over to the computer desk, "come take a seat here and your lesson for today shall commence."
- -
Two hours later, Matt was lying down on Panda's bed facing the ceiling. Panda sat at the foot of the bed again, collapsed against the wall and looking offhandedly in the redhead's direction. Matt had finished what Panda had planned early. Unlike his usual teacher, Panda allowed for him to work at his own pace. Translation: he showed Matt how to do something once and Matt understood and elaborated upon it. At the end of the lesson, Panda had actually taken some time to set up a small test for the teen to see exactly how much he knew. Needless to say, the gamer finished to quickly that the time he took to undo what Panda had set up was in fact equal to Panda's set up time. In all simplicity, the three-hour lesson was cut quite short.
Now, he had another hour to kill before he would head downstairs to meet Mello on the Library. When he'd asked Panda if it was okay to stay, his response was simple nod as an invitation to remain.
"So," Matt began, spreading his arms and legs out and stretching his limbs before he settled down into the mattress, "I've been wondering about last night..."
"Yes?" Panda asked while fiddling with a stack of sugar cubes on the table he'd pulled up beside him.
He took a deep breath. Would he ask now? Of course, there was no reason not to ask or to be afraid to ask. Panda had proven himself trustworthy and accepting enough to be confronted with this kind of question, not that trust was really an issue here. It was mostly the awkwardness that he was worried about.
"Why weren't you grossed out when I said I was gay?"
A knowing smiled spread across the detective's face as his replied, "because I too am homosexual, Matt."
"Y-you're... You're what?"
"I said that I am also gay," Panda sighed exasperatedly.
And although he needed no clarification, with those repeated words, he understood. And now that he'd heard those words, he had too many questions to ask.
Is he out of the closet? Who knows about his orientation? How old was he when he knew? Is it hard to be homosexual? Has he ever had a relationship? What's a gay relationship like? Who was his first? What was that like? What was his first like? Does he have anyone right now? How can you tell if someone else is the same way? What does he like in males? Matt stiffened at the last thought. That was completely uncalled for.
He blushed and buried his face into the pillow beside his head.
"Matt, it is alright to ask me any questions you may have," he paused and looked to the ceiling as if he was going to retract his offer. Instead, he amended, "actually, you may feel free to ask me any question you like. I may choose not to answer though."
The blush seeped away from the redhead's cheeks as he lifted his head back up to look at the older male. The man smiled at him again, and this time it was a kind, guiding smile.
"W-well," he cleared his throat and sat up, hugging the pillow to his chest as he leaned against the wall, "let's start with my first question: Who knows about you?"
Suddenly, there was a need for him to assume Panda stance.
"Ahh... you picked a simple one. Only Watari and my previous lover knew of my orientation. Now you do as well."
'Previous lover'? he coughed, how? When? Who?
Panda looked over in his direction to see the redhead's green eyes widen in slight shock.
"Did you not expect that answer?" he laughed, "Did you honestly not expect that I have had a lover before? I only tell those who ask and no one has ever thought of asking me of my orientation. I suppose they assume that I am heterosexual."
Matt only nodded dully as a response. The initial shock was still in his system and running its course through his processing systems. Instead of waiting for the redhead to recover, Panda already jumped to his next offer.
"Do you have any other questions?"
He blinked a few times, clearing his head and mind until he could form a proper response.
"Yes," he answered, "I do. Who?"
The saw the constant smile he'd grown used to leave Panda's face. It seemed as though all of the man's features dulled slightly when Matt had asked him the question. A pained look flashed across the investigator's dark eyes and Matt felt his heart crack.
"Well, there has only ever been one. I suppose I may tell you a little of him," Panda began, gently placing another sugar cube atop his towering creation with trembling fingers, "but not today."
Matt's eyes went softened as he let go of the stiff air he had held in his lungs and mentally slapped himself.
And here I was, thinking that he'd actually tell me. Whatever it was, whoever it was... what happened must've been bad.
He eyed Panda with concerned silence as the older man opened another box of sugar cubes and began stacking them atop his small tower. The whitish crystalline structure of a pyramid shone pleasantly. Sugar cube after sugar cube piled onto the square base for a good five whole minutes. Luckily, the redhead was smart enough to know now to disturb the man while he worked. Soon after the five minutes passed, Panda looked up from his now perfectly spaced, five layer pyramid and directly into Matt's grass green eyes.
"Now," he started, "with those questions aside, do you wish to ask me anything else?"
"No, not really..." Matt admitted. Even though he'd spent five minutes zoning out after watching Panda develop his sugary architecture, he was at an obvious loss as to what to say.
"Well, I suppose I should inform you of the other secret rooms in the House."
He blinked repeatedly and imagined his eyes bulging comically as he processed what the older man had told him.
"There are others?" Panda only nodded in response. "Where?"
"Well," the detective began, turning around and wagging his finger uncharacteristically in the redhead's face, "not so fast. Let me start from the beginning. Get into a comfortable position," he added offhandedly.
Obeying, Matt slid onto his stomach on the bed and lay so that he faced the detective with a pillow tucked under his chin and chest, his arms crossed before him. He lay his head down so that when he blinked he could feel his eyelashes bat against his forearm. Panda turned back around and continued to build his sugar cube pyramid into a tower.
"Since you appear to be ready," he spoke into the air, "I shall begin. There are approximately five other hidden resting places I regularly reside in within the House. This one is probably one of the easiest to access yet the hardest to find. In fact, the trek you take up the tunnels and ladders is the longest of all of the pathways to the other rooms. The other five rooms are hidden all across the House grounds, three of which are in places that you probably visit or are near regularly. The more public the hiding spot of a secret room is, the harder it is to find the way in. Of course, you cannot accidentally stumble across those entries without knowing what you are looking for very easily. That is, unless you are extremely bored and prone to observing things for the fine details."
Five other rooms in this place? Great, now I'll have to figure out how that's physically possible. Actually, I'll have to go and find these places first. Damn.
"I switch between living in each of these places when I reside in the House. In six days, I will have to move again."
Matt stared at the back of Panda's head. In six days, the man would move. Six days.
Six days and then I won't see him for a long time... Augh! Why am I becoming so obsessed with him?
He expelled the air from his lungs with a great heaving sigh, closing his eyes tiredly as he let his arms fall from their folded position. Eyes closed and arms dangling off the bed, his fingers accidentally brushed against the cotton of the detective's shirt. Although he suddenly became hyper aware of the other male, Panda did not seem to react in any way, so he let his attention fall back down to its normal range.
"So..." Matt calmed his voice, "six days, huh? How long does that mean you'll be staying here?"
"The amount of time is indefinite. I stay as long as I can or wish until some pressing matter pulls me out once more. For this trip, I plan on staying in every location for approximately a week, give or take a day."
He just keeps saying more and more things that make me want to know, but then he never elaborates on them. Maybe he just doesn't trust me enough yet...
"Tell me more about the other places in the House."
"Well, you see, these places are typically something that I leave for the children to find. I have not yet been to any of the other sites on this visit, so I am not sure if anyone else in the House has found them yet, so I shall give you a clue. Their entrances generally function similar to this one and are typically near walls. Any switches will be under something and there will almost never be a single switch. Since this entrance is actually the oldest one in the House, the others may or may not include ropes in their traps."
Panda tapped his lips as if lost in thought. He turned toward Matt's direction and stared beyond him.
"That is all I can tell you for now. It is nearly five in the afternoon, Matt, so you should probably head down now if you want to meet Mello."
The redhead turned his head in the same direction as Panda's to look at the clock. Past all of the clock's inner mechanisms were the giant metal hands on the opposite side of the blue glass clearly displaying the time. Panda was right. He needed to head down now.
"Alright then. I'll go, but when I come back tomorrow you better still be here."
"If you wish to return, I have no objection. Please remember not to skip your classes though, for I would hate for a young resident of the House to miss their lessons because of me."
He checked his pockets for his SP and his sock. Seeing that they were securely with him, the redhead stepped into the tunnel.
"Wait," Matt stopped, "do you prefer coffee or tea?"
"Coffee," the redhead answered and Panda nodded. "Well, see ya," he waved.
Panda gave him a warm, silent wave with two fingers and watched as Matt slowly began descending the ladder. When the redhead had hit the ground, he found his sock at the end of the tunnel and stuffed the black and gray cloth in his pocket before continuing the trip back to the ground floor.
- -
After listening intently for quite a few minutes, Matt pulled the rope to the door and quickly slipped back outside, latching the entrance as fast as possible. Standing up and dusting himself off, he slipped his socks back on and headed for the Library. The hallways were deserted as the kids were already well into doing their individual activities, so Matt had no problem getting out of the space behind the couch unnoticed. Thankfully, it would have been hard to see him because there was an elegantly clothed coffee table blocking the view of the back of the couch from the door. Anyone looking in would never have seen Matt sneak behind.
He walked leisurely down the hallways until he reached the open entrance of the Library. He actually quite loved this place, even though he hated studying and reading. There was a certain charm to the silence and order in the giant space. He made his way near the back of the Library and took the stairs up to the second half floor. The first floor roofs were because of the addition of that second floor of the Library. He didn't mind though, because the open space of the adjacent dining room set an ambiance fit for relaxation.
At the table farthest away from the stairs and the railing that looked over the first floor sat Mello, his nose buried in a book, twirling a pencil nimbly in his hand. Beside him sat a stack of about seven other books and another small pile of two.
"Hey," Matt whispered as he joined the studious blond, sitting to the boy's left.
"Hey."
The mirrored reply brought a smile to his face and he leaned forward and turned his head to the right to read the title of the book Mello was currently staring at.
"Entomology? Why the heck would you want to study bugs? Your YDEs have nothing to do with bugs."
The blond looked up from his book and scowled. He shut the book's covers and set it on the table, his index finger holding his spot between the hundreds of pages.
"Well, I'm studying them because I want to."
Matt gave him the eyebrow and reached out for the book, taking it slowly from Mello's reluctant grasp and opening it to the page that he was on. When he saw what was on the page, he almost died of laughter.
"Butterflies, Mello? You're studying butterflies! That's just so masculine of you!"
The blond huffed a dismayed sigh and buried his face into his palms.
"Yes, Matt," he hissed, "I'm studying butterflies. Now would you please stop laughing and let me get back to my book?"
Wiping a tear out of the corner of his eyes and forcing his laughter into a locked box, Matt handed the book back to the blond.
"Sure, but I'm gonna get real bored real fast, so you better hurry up before I go back to my room to hang out with Near."
He wouldn't actually mind hanging out with the little cue tip. He liked his roommate, but the threat always worked like magic with Mello.
Mello glared at him with his icy blue eyes. Normally this would've bothered Matt, but he was too confident - too cocky - to even care at the moment. Somehow, spending three hours with Panda had made him far more optimistic about the day than he normally was. When the gamer was optimistic, he took chances.
"Fine. See if I care."
Matt stood up and ruffled the blond's silken hair only to have his hand swatted away. Even though he knew Mello didn't mean anything by it, his heart still sank a little from the rejection.
Just as he was about to leave, Mello unexpectedly stood up and grabbed the redhead by the wrist. Matt stiffened at the contact and a blush came across his cheeks. Mello's hands were surprisingly soft, yet they held a firm grasp on his forearm. He was spun around and had a book shoved into his hands.
"Hold those while I put these back and then we'll go downstairs."
Damn, I'm good.
With a triumphant grin, Matt headed down the stairs. Waiting for Mello, he leaned against the wall of the Library entrance watching the other kids pass him by as they made their way to the dining room. The clock that hung on balcony space of the second floor told him it was nearly six. That meant that dinner would be served soon, seeing as how the dining hours were from six until nine every night. The House never had specified times for eating at night. They simply allowed more freedom to the children on weeknights and weekends, trusting that no one would go anorexic or bulimic. Outside media pressures didn't reach the children here as thoroughly as they did to the kinds in the outside world. Some would call it isolation, but most resident agreed that it was simply the atmosphere of Wammy's House that made for more responsible children that thought for themselves. Independence was the House's pride.
"Let's go," Mello murmured as he brushed by Matt with a tenacity hidden beneath his impatience, making his way straight to the stairs.
"Alright."
Still holding Mello's books, the gamer followed him out of the library, a silly grin plastered across his face as they made their way up the dark wooden steps to the third floor.
- -
Three hours after dinner, Matt was back up in Mello's room again. He'd briefly stopped into his room and written a hasty note to Near informing the boy that he was to be gone that night. He could've just run downstairs and spoken to the boy in the playroom, but that would've taken way too much time on his part. Besides, Near was much more relaxed and easy going than most people thought he was. Just because he was the second most intelligent child in the House didn't mean that he was uptight.
Matt's thoughts briefly flitted to the test he'd taken when he had first entered the House. Although the proctor had never given him his IQ score, he was informed that he was one of the most intelligent children that had ever stepped onto House grounds. Because he was Near's roommate, he knew well enough that the little cotton ball did study. He just did so out of the eye of the 'public'. Matt on the other hand, was too lazy to so much as crack open the book. Somehow, he still managed to score as third most talented child at the House on his first general YDE.
Green glowing numbers on the digital clock read nine-thirty. The blond was currently taking a shower and Matt had brought his newly charged SP with him. Lying on the bed, he tapped away at Golden Sun, ear buds in, and a happy grin on his face. Matt had begun his shower at the same time as Mello, but the blond always took at least twenty minutes longer than he did. Meanwhile, the gamer simply killed time doing what he did best: game.
Damn, Crossbone Isle is a b***h. All those cursed items... the Cleric's ring sure is handy. Maybe I should go kick some Storm Lizard a** after this run. That might be fun.
He held down the B button and closed his eyes, his arms extending in front of him as he rolled onto his back and propped up his legs so that his right ankle was resting in the air on his knee. He stretched upward with a muffled guttural sound coming from his throat. His damp red hair soaked the pillow and he sat up abruptly as he realized what he'd done.
Aww s**t. Mello might kill me for this. He hates it when his pillow's wet...
Sighing, Matt sat up and leaned his back against the wall. He stared at the game screen as his level thirty-five Isaac pummeled through the last monster in this set of guardians on the Isle. He didn't really pay attention though as the sound of the bedroom door opening distracted him.
There is a God.
Matt had to stealthily wipe a bit of drool off the corner of his mouth as his blond best friend stepped into the room dripping wet and shirtless. He almost stopped breathing until the lightheaded feeling in his head causing him to break his stare and focus back down at his game.
"Grabbed two pairs of pants instead of a shirt," the blond mumbled, flipping through the folded clothes in his drawer, "Hey, Matt, do you have a shirt I could borrow? I can't find any in here."
"Yeah, sure."
Instead of getting up to go to his own room, he reached for the hem of the shirt he was wearing and stripped it off, tossing it to the older boy. Mello squinted his eyes slightly at the redhead and pulled the black and gray striped shirt on over his smaller body. The sleeves of the shirt hung completely over his left hand and the collar exposed almost of the same shoulder. Straightening the shirt didn't take long, but the annoyance was thoroughly evident on the boy's face. Mello turned to face the redhead, and crossed his arm over his chest.
"Gods, Matt, how can you be so big at fourteen?"
Matt choked on his spit.
"M-my shoulder span is wider than yours? I dunno!" he half-yelled in a shaky voice, his face flushing red at Mello's words.
Do you have any idea what you've just said?!
Evidently not, because Mello simply threw his clothes into his overflowing laundry basket and plopped down beside the gamer as if nothing was wrong. Either the boy chose to ignore the way his words had sounded or he really was deaf to sexuall innuendo. Matt wasn't sure which explanation he preferred, so he opted to simply forget about the entire ordeal instead.
"You shouldn't be shirtless after a shower. You could get sick," Mello mused as he sat beside the redhead, drying his hair with a towel he'd picked out of his dresser's bottom drawer. "Actually, aren't you already sick?"
"No," the redhead clarified, "Nurse said nothing was wrong with me."
"Hn."
Matt felt a bit useless sitting there as he played his game. Games usually took care of his boredom, but for some reason it felt like a mindless, almost droning activity. His mind was blank and unprocessing as his fingers reflexively tapped away at the worn buttons of his SP. He wasn't even looking at the screen anymore and was instead staring at the twisting design Linda had drawn onto the silver borders of the screen.
In the back of his mind, his thoughts drifted to Panda upstairs. He would probably be eating more sweets or something right now, seeing as how that was all the boy had seen him eat for the past few days. Actually, how did he get the food? Did Watari bring it to him? And how did he bathe? He seemed quite clean both times Matt had visited him. Did he sneak down to a private bathing room when the House was asleep? Maybe he heated water in the room upstairs and washed down with a towel and soap? That might explain what those piles were doing in the corner of his room. Well, whatever. Maybe he had other rooms in the House that he washed in. Plumbing did somehow reach the tower room, right? After all, there was a sink in there last time he checked. Which was two hours ago. Now if Panda could somehow haul the sink out of its place in the wall and move it out of the tower room all by himself, then that might mean something. Maybe. He chuckled at the visual of the older man carrying the shiny metal sink to the arched entrance of the room.
What the hell am I gonna do when he moves in six days?
He let the thought drop again to the back of his mind as the sudden pressure of Mello's body was against his left arm. The blond had scooted closer to him, his head cocked to the right, practically resting on Matt's shoulder as he leaned in for a closer look.
He probably wouldn't act like this if he knew I wasn't straight...
"I still don't get why you love games so much," he frowned, playing with the hem of Matt's striped shirt.
"Just watch and understand, little Melly, watch and un-der-stand."
The blond bumped him a tad violently as Matt used the feminine nickname.
"Don't call me that," he play-growled.
A wicked smirk painted the redhead's face as he watched the animation of a giant magical sword impale an undead pirate on the screen. Maybe tonight he could pull out having some more teasing fun with the older boy. Mello's face was always so cute as he got frustrated with anything, even if the expression did involve some scowling and some wrinkles in the forehead.
"Call you what, Melly?" he teased, bumping the boy back.
A yawn bubbled up from the back of his throat and his eyes squeezed shut as he folded his handheld and flicked the power switch off. After he set it on the ground, he looked up and saw the predicted scowl upon his best friend's lips. He grinned back cockily and tousled Mello's damp blond hair. The older boy sighed and got up from the bed and walked over to the light switch on the wall.
"Well, whatever. I'm getting tired," Mello yawned, "let's turn in for the night."
He flicked the light down and made his way carefully back into the bed. Sitting down at the foot of the mattress, he plopped his body into a laying position and stretched his arms out away from his body. He turned and faced Matt, pulling the younger boy down beside him.
"W-woah, Mello, what are you doing?" the redhead protested as he hurried and scooted away from the blond under the covers beside him.
"What? You don't have a shirt on. I'm not gonna let you sleep on the floor tonight. What if you catch a cold?" And with those words, Mello snuggled into the covers and turned his back to his best friend. "Good night, Matt."
"Uhh... Good night, Mello?"
The blond chuckled and after twenty minutes fell slowly into a stilling slumber. Matt simply lay frozen in the bed, synthetic breathing rhythms causing his chest to rise and fall at different rats. The black bed sheets were warming quickly with the combined temperature of two bodies heating up the cloth. Matt shifted uncomfortably in the bed, his leg accidentally brushing against the back of Mello's. The older boy moaned lightly at the contact and turned around so that his body was facing Matt's in his sleep. The redhead sighed lightly, the puff of his breath interrupting the smooth fall of Mello's bangs across his face. With a discreet shifting, Matt adjusted his body so that he could watch the blond's relaxed forehead and parted lips.
God, Mello... If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that you planned for things like this to happen.
He sighed and continued to watch the blond. Mello was a light sleeper, but he fell asleep quickly. Eventually, stream of consciousness took over his mind once more and Matt began to wonder about the other parts of the House. Panda said there were five more places in the House that he could hide in. If that was true and if he couldn't find any of these places, then he wouldn't see the detective for almost a month and a half. Of course, with Panda being a man of rumored great genius, then he probably wouldn't go to these places in a consistent cycle. It would seem more probable that he would select them at random and stay for irregular periods of time. But what would be the use of that? This was Wammy's House. No one got into Wammy's House without getting past security, and security would never let anyone dangerous onto House grounds. The day that happened would be the day Mello finally stopped hating Near.
Actually, that's probably not too far-fetched. I bet he'll get over all of it eventually. I shouldn't worry.
The chocolate addict shifted in his sleep and rolled over so that he was facing his best friend. Heat began spreading through Matt's body as he tried without success to move away from the blond. Mello only scooted closer to him, his body snuggling against Matt's rapidly heating one. If Matt moved now, he'd wake up the older boy and probably get beaten half to death for their compromising position.
If the blond was going to be doing this, he might as well take advantage of the situation. Besides, when was the next time he'd be able to hold Mello like this? With a heaving sigh, Matt wrapped one of his arms around Mello's thin body and the teen tucked his head into the crook of Matt's bare arm. He feeling of the other boy breathing rhythmically on his skin made him shiver happily. When Mello leaned his head in closer and his lips touched against Matt's chest, he felt as if he was on fire.
I bet Panda's felt like this before, he mused amidst the sensations he was feeling through his adolecent body, having a previous lover and all. Damn, I really want to know who it was. What if... wait. Panda said he was here to get away from his work. 'Previous lover' and getting away from work? Maybe it's somehow connected.
Matt's eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he ripped through his memory for any sort of clue that he might've seen recently that would help him. Would the man ever trust him enough to tell Matt about his life story? Unconsciously, he'd set himself a goal. He'd earn Panda's trust. He'd earn Panda's trust and find out more about the confusing man. He could learn so much from the detective. Even though he'd never taken an interest in learning before, Panda was somehow able to evoke those feeling swithin him. When he was with the older man, he became more sporadically inquisitive. It was like Panda flipped a switch inside him that would force him to think...
I need to know...
Unable to remain awake any longer and the last of his brainpower fading, the boy simply let the thought go as he slid into his Delta state of consciousness. But in his drowsy mind, part of him sat contemplating the reclusive man that probably sat awake in the clock tower room nibbling away at another fruit tart or peppermint cake.
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Delta consciousness is the state of the mind when one is deeply asleep. Alpha when one is daydreaming or meditating and Beta consciousness is when one is simply awake and coherent.
 minikimii · Mon Jan 19, 2009 @ 06:47pm · 0 Comments |
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