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IF YOU STILL WANT TO COMMENT ME HERE TOO ...
I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO READ.
HA HA HA. HERE:

How can something be "new" and "improved"?
I THINK THEY MEAN, 'NEW' BECAUSE IT IS 'IMPROVED'.

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?
ALLSTATE IS JUST A NAME.

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
THEY ARE CALLED END PAGES, APPROPRIATELY. WHEN A BOOK IS PUT TOGETHER THERE MUST BE A CERTAIN NUMBER OF PAGES IN ONE SIGNATURE. SOMETIMES THERE ARE MORE PAGES THAN THERE IS TEXT. BUT A SIGNATURE MUST KEEP A CONSTANT NUMBER, SO THAT THE SPINE IS EVENLY DISTRIBUTED WITH SIGNATURES WHEN YOU SEW THEM ALL TOGETHER.

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
I'VE NEVER BOWLED IN MY LIFE, I HAVE NO IDEA.

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend, Tonto, with him?
DID HE RESIDE IN TEXAS? THAT WOULD BE LOGICAL. TEXAS; LONE STAR STATE.

Why is it that on a phone or calculator, the number five has a little dot on it?
INTERESTING, I NOTICED THIS BEFORE TOO. I DON'T KNOW.

Caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing. Why?
EH, GIVE OR TAKE.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
GOOD QUESTION. SURELY THERE IS.

If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take their nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?
EW, NO! THE HOLE ON THE INSIDE STAYS MUCH SMALLER. YOU CAN'T BE A p***y TO WEAR THE NOSE RINGS I WEAR. I HAVE TO RE-PIERCE MYSELF. I HAVE TO STAB THROUGH MY SKIN TO GET THE RING ALL THE WAY IN & COMFORTABLE. A PIERCING IS JUST A WOUND THAT STAYS OPEN. IT SHOULD BE KEPT CLEAN & SNOT-FREE. UGH. GROSS QUESTION.

Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
LIBERACE CONCERTS.

What happens to an irresistible force when it hits an immovable object?
AN IMPACT OCCURS.

How come you never see a billboard being changed by the highway?
I CAUGHT THEM ONCE! IN CALI I LIVED BY A HUGE BILLBOARD. I NOTICED IT WAS DIFFERENT EVERY 2 WEEKS OR SO. BUT I ONLY EVER SEEN THEM CHANGE IT ONCE. IT WAS ABOUT 3 IN THE MORNING.

If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
NO. YOU WOULD BE MORE UP-, MORE DOWNSTAIRS, OR EXACTLY IN THE MIDDLE.

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
MAYBE SO PEOPLE WHO READ WITH BRAILLE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

What is another word for "thesaurus"?
OH CLEVER. SARCASM. WHAT ABOUT LEXICON? RHETORICAL.