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I am sitting here listening to a song that I havent heard in awhile. It's kinda sad and it makes me think about Atem. Atem does make me happy but I wish it was just me and him. I want our own place, and I want to come home and see him waiting for me. This is what makes me sad. Sometimes at night I will lay awake and think about what our place would look like and the things we would do together. I can see the place so clearly in my head. It's one of those old apartment buildings, like in New York. Inside, there is brick on the walls. And the windows run from the floor to the ceiling. It's the same style as those open loft apartments. The windows have white curtains that are thin, so the light shines through them. And when the windows are open, they blow in the breeze. There is always sun shining in through the windows, and at night the moonlight shines through the windows as well. There is a little breakfast table in the corner and when you sit there you can look out into the city. The kitchen is open to the living room. It's one large area. But there is a bar that seperates the kitchen from the rest of the room. in the living room there is a fire place and a small couch. the bedroom is small, but that is all we need. the bed is on the floor, like traditional japanese beds. the sheets are white like the curtains. the bathroom is attached to the bedroom. when i am there (in my head) and he takes a shower i can see him from the bed. i like to listen to him sing in the shower, it makes me laugh. I love to wake to him in morning. with the sun light dancing on his face. and he awakes with a smile and pulls me close. and we lay there all day..............